New Year's Resolutions!

Happy New Year!

I hope all of you have had a great holiday season and are anxious to return to work!

Keep up that productivity, people!!

Now, many of you will have made some New Year’s resolutions, some of which are the same you make every year, and fail within the first hour.

Fear not, allow me to help you make resolutions you can keep.

And, no, not the kind like, “I vow to no longer poach rhinoceros’ horns.”

(And, if you do, STOP IT!)

Resolution #1:

I will try to lose weight.

Ok, you may be a little put off by my presumption that you are fat, sorry, “overweight”. Well, that’s because the majority of Americans are fat.

And we are getting fatter by the minute.

Why? Allow me to explain:

A) Diet:

You have a shitty diet.

Too much garbage in your mouth, every single day.

And the answer is not to starve yourself, or go on some fad diet, that may temporarily work, but which simply cannot be sustained.

What’s a “good” diet?

The current winner is the Mediterranean diet, which essentially uses fish for protein, fruits, vegetables and olive oil, starring as the Good Fat.

This is a legitimate diet, but, like all diets will require a true change in the vast majority of people’s habits.

Including Moi, a full blooded Italian (at least until the 23 and Me comes back).

Diet modification is always difficult, and drastic efforts inevitably fail, because they are just too, well, drastic.

My recommendation is to pull up a copy of the Mediterranean diet and see what simple substitutions you could start with that would be easy.

No, you won’t see the pounds melt away, but you may actually be able to transition to a healthier lifestyle that is realistic and one that you can maintain.

B) Exercise:

Since I’m the only person that still reads Scientific American, allow me to tell you what this last issue contained.

It contained an article that said our evolution into a bipedal animal caused us to transition to one of the few animals that actually REQUIRES exercise to stay healthy.

Oh, and, BTW, exercise does not work as a mechanism for weight loss.

Well, that sucks.

Especially since you bought some piece of crap you saw on an infomercial that will let you shed 50 pounds and develop a 6 pack set of abs by using it ONLY 5 MINUTES A DAY!!

Now, let me stress, exercise is extremely important. It is critical to maintaining health, even if the pounds won’t drop off.

You can only shed pounds by shutting your mouth.

Not easy, trust me, I know.

However, as with diet, the key to developing an exercise regimen is to take it slow.

Don’t get up off the couch, with a goal of competing in this year’s Iron Man competition.

You will fail, probably hurt yourself, maybe even die.

You need to begin with a regimen that is sustainable, even if nothing more than walking each day.

I’m also a believer in going to the gym. I think it takes more discipline to use that machine, covered in dust and old clothes in your basement, than to get out and see other people exercising, which will encourage you to do the same.

Plus, the fresh air will do you good.

Resolution #2:

Guess what? If you work at the above, you won’t need any other resolutions.

Following a healthier diet and lifestyle will improve many other aspects of your life, such as, helping to reduce stress and improving your overall sense of well-being.

And in the end, that’s really the best we can hope for.

(Side note: For those with habits like drugs, alcohol and gambling, resolutions don’t work. Quit fooling yourself, get help.)

And remember, the next time you see an infomercial showing you some gizmo that purports to have extraordinarily transformative powers-STAY SKEPTICAL!

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Filed under: Health Care

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