Obama's Letter to Trump


I’ll keep this short, in deference to your ADD.

You are about to embark on the first legitimate job of your life. It won’t be easy. Here’s my advice:

1) Don’t try to bullshit your way through. There are way too many people watching and it won’t work.

2) Delegate as much as you can, because I have a feeling you’ll get frustrated very quickly, once you realize you can’t do all the crazy shit you said during the campaign.

3) Please try to stop pissing off all of our allies. You’ll need them when Putin screws you over.

4) Please, please, please do not push the Red Button when you do get pissed off.

Well, I imagine your mind is already drifting off, so let me just say, “Good Luck!” (For our sake.)

Yours truly,


PS: The toilet in the Lincoln bedroom runs continuously if you don’t jiggle the handle. I tried to get it replaced, but apparently it’s some sort of “antique”.

PSS: You cannot access porn sites on the White House servers. You can thank Bill for that. I used to use Hillary’s private server, (The real reason she had one.) but, that’s gone now.

Filed under: Health Care

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