Archive for July 2016

Good News, Everyone!

That’s how Professor Farnsworth from Futurama always began his meetings. What’s that? Oh, you’re not familiar with that show? Of course not, because it’s off the air, thanks to people like you who are “too busy” to watch TV. I’m keeping a list of your transgressions, I want you to know. At any rate, today... Read more »


Dear me, who could it be at the door at this hour of the night? Yes? May I help you? Oh my, look at you, your soaked to the bone, please come in, come in! What happened? Ahh, your car broke down and you got caught in this terrible storm. Well, don’t stand there go... Read more »

You, Me and the Apocalypse

I’m guessing it’s ok for me to use the title of a now defunct TV show that I liked, but, because none of you could be bothered to watch it, was canceled. Just as the asteroid was about to hit earth. You people piss me off. Nevertheless, I’m here this Sunday typing furiously with two... Read more »

Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself…

I am actually a man of wealth and taste, but that’s not what I want to talk about today. Rather, I thought that today I would tell a little bit about my specialty, and what radiation oncologists do. On November 8, 1895, Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen discovered X-rays. One year later, they were being used to... Read more »

Oh, Dr. Smith is the BEST Doctor!

Do you know how often I’ve heard that? Do you know how many times I’ve had to clench my teeth and squeak out an, “Oh, yes!” when in reality I want to say, “He makes Josef Mengele look like Dr. Kildare!” I ask you, gentle readers, what do you think constitutes a “best doctor”? Did... Read more »

The Latest and Greatest!

Our society is obsessed with the new. New drugs, new technology, new procedures. In our society, new equals better. Always. Without fail. When I first started out in practice, I unfortunately looked like I was 16. So the first question I’d be asked by a patient was, “So how many cases like mine have you... Read more »

Dealing with Futility

Good morning, everyone! Hope you had a great 4th of July! I thought I’d start this shortened week with an uplifting piece dealing with death! What fun! Let me begin with one of my all-time favorite quotes, attributed to William Wallace, circa 1300: “Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives” Now, lest I be... Read more »


In the 80’s and 90’s a terrible discovery was made. It turned out that all the silicone breast implants women had done, either for cosmetic reasons, or after breast cancer surgery had a horrible downside. It seems as though these implants could rupture and leak and the silicone could cause women to develop terrible autoimmune... Read more »