Dear Mr. Trump,
You’ve had a rough couple of weeks. You know it. I know it. The entire world knows it. Your ratings are, frankly, in the toilet, which has to be killing you. But there’s an easy way to fix this. There’s a very simple action you–and only you–can take to stop the bleeding (or at least slow it). You could be a HERO, an actual HERO.
Give Mike Pence (*shudder*) the keys to the Oval Office.
This is what you want, deep down. You never wanted this JOB. You wanted to win. You wanted to prove…something…to yourself and Obama and I don’t know, whoever. You did it. You won.
And now you’re stuck with all this WORK. You’ve got scores of people marching against you, record numbers of people calling their congresscritters to take action against you, hordes of folks ridiculing you on Twitter, and those pesky other world leaders won’t bend to your every whim. You’re tired. You’ve had to cut back on your TV time. Your wife won’t even live with you.
And, I think, there’s your ace in the hole.
Walk away now and say you’re doing it for your family. People have always seen you as a family man. When Hillary Clinton had to praise you during the debates, she referenced your children–Ivanka, Don Jr, not Don Jr, the other ones. Your relationship with them is what makes you relatable. This stupid job tearing your family apart, and you want to fix things. You want to go back to New York and make things right with Melania.
And think about it. After that, you’d be free to do whatever. you. wanted.
Because being president sucks, but being EX-PRESIDENT is badass. Do you know what Obama’s doing right now? He’s wiggling his toes in Richard Branson’s private sand. Bill Clinton is playing with his grandkids and taking walks with his wife, who’s probably somewhat relieved not to be in your shoes right now. George W. Bush is painting.
Being EX-PRESIDENT could do wonders for your approval rating. Resigning would show the American people that you understand their beef, you recognize that you’re in over your head and you’re heroic enough to recognize it and step away. It’d give you time to do what you really wanted to do all along–start your own TV empire. Remember how popular you were when you were on The Apprentice, before you started getting mixed up in all the political nonsense? This could be like that. You could walk away with a greater approval rating than Obama. Think about it.
Leaving office is GREAT for unpopular presidents. Look at Bush. People love him now. Aw, he paints. Aw, the Obamas love him. Aw, he gets trapped in his rain poncho. Check out Jimmy Carter. He wasn’t a well-loved president, but as an ex-president, he’s become a virtual SAINT.
That. could. be. you.
Think about it for a day or two, then hand the reigns to Pence. Leave it up to us to figure out how to handle him. You’ve done enough. You deserve a break.
All the best,
I wrote a book! It’s YA novel, THE SOUND OF US. You can find the details right here! Kirkus calls it “a winning story about a teenage voice student that hits all the right notes.”
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