Oh, jeepers that was a sad one.
“Hold the door” morphing into “Hodor” is the new “Numb arm” becoming “Narm.” I think we can all agree on that. at least we will be able to agree once we stop bawling about what happened in this episode.
Obviously we know to which door the title refers, but lets see how many other important doors we can spot in this episode, shall we?
Winterfell: Sansa gets a letter with a mockingbird sigil on it, and she flees to Mole’s Town to meet up with Littlefinger, who’s the speediest traveler in Westeros. How the hell did he get to the Wall so quickly? He was *just* in the Vale, which is about six million Westerosi miles away. Remember when characters setting out on a journey used to mean a good season to season and a half of traveling escapees? Those days are gone. Brienne will probably make it to the Riverlands and back by the end of the next episode. And Jorah will travel far and wide to find a cure for the greyscale, and he’ll be back in Danyland by the season finale.
But I digress. Sansa and Brienne go to meet with Littlefinger. Sansa accuses him of knowing what kinds of terrible things Ramsay was capable of when he left Sansa at Winterfell, which, I think we can all agree, is probably true. Littlefinger is the Varys of Midwesteros. There’s no way he didn’t know about Ramsay’s penchant for douchebaggery. Sansa did make him a little scared, I think, when she asked him why he shouldn’t just sic Brienne on him. His way out was to tell Sansa that her uncle Brynden “Blackfish” Tully has a fancy new army, and maybe Sansa should ditch her bastard half-brother and his Wall buddies to see what her mama’s brother is working with.
Sansa tells Jon and friends about the Blackfish’s alleged army (I’m not sure I believe Littlefinger/wonder if he was saving his skin/have no idea what his endgame is), but Sansa doesn’t tell Jon how she got this information. Why the lies, Sansa? I’m honestly not sure. I also don’t know what Sansa’s endgame is here, if she even has one.
She, Jon, and everyone except Lord Dolorous Edd leave the Wall and head out to, in the case of Jon and Sansa, recruit the smaller families of the North to their side (Hi, Jorah Mormont’s people!), and, in the case of Brienne, go down to Fishville and see what Brynden is cooking up in the Riverlands. (The prospect of Brienne–and I assume Pod–traveling this way excites me, because I’m pretty sure they’re gong to meet SOMEONE(!!!Not enough!!!) on the way.)
In case you were wondering, Tormond still digs Brienne. She’s…not so sure at this point about him.
And the door in this storyline–Edd, who kind of forgot for a minute there that he’s in charge now, has to close the gate when everyone leaves.
Braavos: There’s more fighting. You don’t care. I don’t care. But now Arya has to kill an actress in order to become a faceless human. If she messes this up, she becomes one of the masks on the wall. The story this week also contained a play, which was basically a retelling of season one with Ned Stark playing the fool and Joffrey acting, basically, heroic, or, if not heroic, a lot more like Tommen than like himself.
Pyke: It’s a kingsmoot! Theon stepped up for his sister and said that, though he’s the last remaining male heir of Balon Greyjoy, his sister, Yara, should rule the Iron Islands. She was like, “Yeah, bro.” But then their Uncle Euron showed up and made the case for himself–he’s traveled the world/he’s going to amass a huge army of ships/and he’s going to seduce the mother of dragons with those ships. While he’s underwater getting sworn in as king, Yara and Theon steal all the best ships and head out to…??? TBD.
Vaes Dothrak: Lord Friendzone finally admits to his queen that he loves her. Then he basically says, “Okay, I’m off to die now.” She orders him to find a cure for the greyscale and to come back when he’s less yucky. Jorah watches from the sidelines as Dany and her *new* army head off to…??? TBD (But it’s probably Meereen.)
Meereen: Again, you don’t care. Nothing’s happening here. Literally. No one’s dying at all, not since Tyrion made the deal with the slavers. But in order to solidify Dany as queen, or as Tyrion puts it, “Mother of dragons, breaker of chains, all…that,” he and Varys brings in Diet Melissandre to help them convince the masses that Dany is totes the new Stannis. Varys basically thinks this whole religion thing is a bunch of hooey, but Diet Mel has his number. She recounts the time he lost his pecker when he was a kid, and she was all up to date on the information.
North of the Wall: Oh, Bran. Man, this was hard to watch. But it was so well done. Bran loves traveling to the past. He learns so many things, like how the newly-redesigned children were the ones who created the white walkers. When he realizes that the three-eyed raven and everyone else are asleep, he decides to take a little mind trip on his own. He runs into an army of wights, led by the white walkers and the Night’s King. The Night’s King grabs his arm, and Bran wakes up.
Now the white walkers can get into the tree. Bran and friends need to leave. But first, the three-eyed raven says Bran needs to take his place. The two of them go into a trance together and leave it to poor Meera (seriously, no sarcasm, POOR MEERA) and the children-girl to protect everyone. The wights are coming in. Meera can’t wake up Bran, who’s having a jolly old time in Past Winterfell. Finally, she gets him to warg into Hodor, who picks Bran up and carries him away from the tree roots.
While Meera fights, and the children-girl sacrifices herself, and poor (SOB!) Summer gets killed (Stop killing direwolves, show! Though I suppose we don’t actually know that he’s officially dead…what was not seen dead is not really dead? What is dead may never die? Wrong part of the story?), Bran is still in Winterfell. Thanks to the team effort, they manage to escape, with Meera shouting to Hodor, “Hold the door!” She drags Bran away from danger, as he sees young Hodor in Winterfell fall to the ground in a fit. Meera is yelling, “Hold the door!” Hodor is holding the door. Young Hodor wakes up and can only say, “Hodor.” And poor present day Hodor is left to the wights. And now it’s just Meera and Bran. Poor Meera!
What did you think?
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