And now a lot of people’s watches have ended.
There was much oath breaking in this episode, much breaking oaths and going rogue. Let’s check in with all our buddies.
The Wall: Whoa. So many things. Jon Snow is ALIVE, but you knew that already. And, apparently, he’s totally Jon Snow. The Jon Snow we know and really started to love last season when he went to Hardhome and was simply wonderful. We haven’t officially seen Ghost interacting with him (and you know how animals can sense the *real* deal), but so far it appears that Jon Snowheart = regular old Jon Snow. Even Edd kind of thinks so, except for how this resurrected Jon Snow is funny.
(Edd is so cute. Long live Edd!)
Anyway, Jon has a tiny moment of existential crisis because, hey, he just woke up from being dead and he has all kinds of wounds on his chest which obviously should have been fatal. He tells Melisandre that he didn’t see anything at all while he was dead, which I think we can take at face value, but maybe Jon was just saying that to yank her chain. Davos, who is fighting Edd for the position of Jon’s #1 fan, thinks Jon has to go out and do things and be good and fail and rah-rah vagaries. Davos + Jon Snow = Forever
So, what Jon does is provide a bit of fan service by killing Olly. The camera even takes a long, loving look at Olly’s “Zoinks! I’ve been hanged!” face. Now Olly’s watch (and Ser Alliser’s and that one random brother who asked Jon Snow to say hi to his mother for him’s) watch has ended.
And so has Jon’s, because he pulled off his Lord Commander’s cloak and handed it to Dolorous Edd. Snow. Out. Oath. Broked. The bastard has left the building, the building being Castle Black.
The Narrow Sea: Hi, Narrow Sea! Welcome to the opening credits. This whole thing was basically a check-in with sex-oath breaker Sam, who’s headed to Oldtown to take classes at the Citadel. He’s got Gilly and Baby Sam with him now, but he’s going to drop them off at his family home in Horn Hill to hang with his moms and sister. And Gilly’s all, whatever you say my liege. YAWN.
Vaes Dothrak: And yet another storyline not quite worth caring about! Daenerys, who broke an oath when she didn’t go back to Vaes Dothrak immediately after Khal Drogo died, is now a dosh khaleen. She has to wear a sack and live in a hut. Or does she? The wizened old crones aren’t sure they want her kind around these parts, now do they? This all reeks of so much filler, I can’t even. Let us go back to the Wall!
Bran’s Brain: This storyline may feel like filler to non book readers, but it is SO NOT. It is GREAT. And the show is such a tease. Tonight in Time Travel Bran, we go back to that time Ned Stark fought and bested the greatest swordsman in all the land, Arthur Dayne, foxy man person and wielder of the Sword of the Morning. But! Plot twist! According to how it all plays out OnDemand in Bran’s head (which shows the real, actual, factual way the events occurred) Ned didn’t beat Dayne. It was Jojen and Meera’s dad, Howland Reed, who stabbed Arthur Dayne in the back. Then Ned finished him off, but only after he was already mortally wounded. Hmmm…!!! This all sets things up, because what else has Ned lied about?…Hmmm…oh, and WHAT COULD BE IN THAT TOWER? OMG, RAVEN, JUST LET BRAN GO UP THERE WE ALL KNOW WHAT HE’S GOING TO FIND. HOLY SHIT.
Meereen: Varys is just doing what he does, stone cold Varys-ing, getting people to tell him stuff through blackmail and bribery. He gets the curly haired prostitute to tell him that three major slaving cities (Astapor, Volantis, and Yunkai) are funding the Sons of the Harpy. Which, now they’re apparently going to send Messandei in to talk to these dudes? I don’t care yet. Make me care, writers. Also, you are wasting Tyrion this season.
King’s Landing: Maester Qyburn is playing Varys’s game, offering candied plums (Were those *really* candied plums??? This *is* Maester Qyburn we’re talking about after all. Young children of the city, you are now all science experiments) to the small children of King’s Landing in return for information and loyalty. Cersei is now in full plotting mode. She plans to use Ser Gregor (Not Ser Robert Strong. Apparently, Cersei, et. al., are not concerned about hiding the Mountain’s identity) to full-effect, sending him into battle for herself (I believe) in a trial by combat.
Because, yeah, Cersei still has some atoning to do, according to the High Sparrow. Tommen goes to see him, because he wants the High Sparrow to let Ceresi see Myrcella’s tomb. But the High Sparrow plays Tommen like a fiddle and waxes poetic about how much Cersei loves Tommen and wah-wah-wah. Kings and gods are the two pillars they both need to be in sync. Good kings know no one is wiser than the gods. He didn’t add, “Don’t you want to be a good king, Tommen?” but he might as well have.
The small council is also meeting, and it was a moment of “remember these folks?” There’s Lady Olenna, Queen Margaery’s grandma; Mace Tyrell, that sniveling weasel; Maester Pycell, who’s just aghast that Cersei trusts a maester who was kicked out of the Citadel; and Ser Kevan Lannister, Cersei’s uncle. They did not invite Jaime to their meeting, even though he’s Lord Commander of the King’s Guard. The small council does not want to work together Cersei and friends to bring down the High Sparrow. They do not seem to care that Dorne is a complete shit show right now. They simply want nothing to do with Cersei, Jaime, Qyburn, and Ser Gregor. The small council is Team Iron Man and Cersei and her buddies are Team Cap. One group is choosing to work within the system and the other is going rogue.
Arya: She has her sight back, so. Also, she did some chatting about a girl’s old family. She says that she kind of wanted the Hound dead at the end there, but she also didn’t. (When are they bringing back the Hound, by the way? He’s totally not dead. I’ll be keeping the #Sansdor faith long after this show is over.) When she talks about her list, she only mentions people who are still currently alive: Cersei, Walder Frey, and Gregor Clegane.
Winterfell: HOLY WHAT? This scene started out as table setting, but then the biggest bomb was dropped. Ramsay is trying to get friends to help him maintain his hold on Winterfell as well as take over as warden of the north. He’s already got the Karstarks on his team, and now he’s working on the Umbers. Lord Umber only wants to send the wildlings back north of the Wall, which is why he’s seeking Ramsay’s help. He doesn’t want to pledge fealty to Ramsay, he just wants the two houses to work together to get rid of the wildlings. And he has a gift for Ramsay to sweeten the pot. He’s got Tonks (sorry, Osha) and motherloving RICKON. Rickon Stark (I’m assuming it’s the *real* Rickon, but who can tell anymore, now that these actors have aged so much; and it’s not like the show hasn’t pulled the “That’s Rickon!” rug out from under us before.) Of course, Lord Umber does have one compelling piece of evidence: Shaggy Dog’s head. RIP, Shaggy Dog.
- If you’re keeping count, that means three of the six Stark direwolves are officially dead: Lady, Grey Wind, and Shaggy Dog. Ghost and Summer still live for sure. We don’t know where Nymeria is.
- I guess this means they’re never going to do the Davos storyline now.
- I really hope Rickon and Osha being in Ramsay’s “care” doesn’t follow the same pattern we saw with Theon and Sansa. Ramsay is not that smart. He’s a cartoon villain at this point. It’s time someone got the best of him. (Maybe Lord Umber is in cahoots with Rickon and Osha, and they…have…a…plan.)
- Regardless, it looks like John Snowheart might be on his way to save the day.
- To mend things with the Tyrells, maybe Cersei offers Ser Gregor as Margaery’s champion in the ring of justice?
Enjoy this post? Click like on the Hammervision Facebook page and join the party.
And, for more movie/TV commentary and other mischief, follow us on Twitter: @JulieHammerle and @Hammervision
Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.