It’s the first week of actual Idol performances! Yay! American Idol is at the Viviana Theater in Los Angeles, Ryan Seacrest looks like a hologram of himself from five years ago. It’s all happening!
This week, half of the top 24 perform solos on Wednesday and duets with Idol LEGENDS on Thursday night. Which illustrious alumni will be joining us tomorrow? Oh, just FANTASIA, RUBEN, McCREARY, and a bunch of people I swear to jeebus I’ve never heard of in my life. Legends, indeed.
But how did the first twelve do solo-wise?
Stephany Negrete, “Mamma Knows Best” by Jessie J: Stephany loves languages. That’s important…I guess. She knows how to say a lot of hellos. Thank you for that, Idol producers. More importantly, her hair. I covet it. She has a lot of attitude and the song suits her, but I don’t get a ton of feeling from her performance. J-Lo is right. She can’t forget about the song itself while rocking a strong performance. This whole thing didn’t feel all that special to me.
McKenzie Bourg, “Say Something” by Great Big World: He’s the kind of contestant who’s only exciting if you’re under eighteen and trying to sleep. I feel like I’ve heard this same song from him already one hundred times and I’ve only actually heard him perform thrice. He did what McKenzie does, but…eh. Sure? I guess?
Jeneve Rose Mitchell, “Angel” by Sarah Mclachlan: I still call shenanigans that this girl is as off the grid as she says she is. She has her own website and, duh-doy, she knows American Idol is a TV show that exists. The truth will come out eventually. It always does. I think Harry was right. She sounded great and she really has a lot of musicality, but I would’ve liked to have seen her simply sing this one. I like her. I hope she can keep being interesting and not obnoxious. That’s a difficult task on this show.
Jenna Renae, “My Church” by Maren Morris: I would never listen to her ever. I guess she’s fine. She has a lot of stage presence, but eh. Maybe she’s not my cup of tea. If she sticks around, I’ll work on appreciating her.
James VIII, “Love Lockdown” by Kanye West: I like this dude. He has a lot of stage presence and he’s not precious. The performance was good, though the song didn’t move me. Kind of like Stephany up north there, it was aggressively fine. I think he’s capable of better.
Sonika Vaid, “Safe and Sound” by Taylor Swift: I love that she’s wearing a ball gown. I totally would’ve worn a ball gown on Idol EVERY. TIME. She’s got a case of the Carrie Underwood dead eyes and her voice is a little thin, though lovely.
Gianna Isabella, “I Put a Spell on You” by Annie Lennox: Loves books, horror books. I like this girl. She has good stage presence, a great voice, and a lot of emotion. But there is room for improvement, which is a good thing at this point. Harry is right, too. She needs to work on reigning it in at times for maximum effect.
Emily Brooke, “I Am Invincible” by Cassadee Pope: Bad start. Real bad. And she was wearing a sheer shower curtain of a dress. And this song, at least a good portion of it, did not fit her register. She was pitchy all over the place. Hard pass. Hard.
Avalon Young, “Love Yourself” by Justin Bieber: Skater chick. Way to boil each contestant down to one dominant trait, Idol producers. Singing in a sweatshirt is the sartorial opposite of singing in a ball gown, but I support both equally. This performance is basically bad karaoke, though. Bye, Felicia.
Jordan Sasser, “All By Myself” by Celine Dion: This guy is THE WORST. I’m just saying. He’s going to have to be, like, Kelly Clarkson amazing for me to jump on board his train. And tonight, he was not. Every Idol season needs someone you want to root against, though. So he’s filling a niche. He’s got that going for him.
Thomas Stringfellow, “Creep” by Radiohead: I’m not sure how this guy and McKenzie Bourg are different from each other. Is it the hat? It’s probably the hat. I like this guy better though. He picks better songs and he’s got kind of an “Eddie Redmayne hanging out on a farm in Kentucky” thing happening, which I dig, against all odds.
La’Porsha Renae, “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner: I believe. I believe in La’Porsha. I will attend her church every Sunday and I will give her all my moneys. She is my religion.
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