I’m going back to my roots this season.
I started blogging because of American Idol. It was back in 2006. I wasn’t working at the time and, in lieu of doing anything productive with my, let’s call it, “sabbatical,” I started translating every last word that fell from Randy Jackson’s mouth. Some would call it a waste of time; others might call it the start of a writing career.
After Taylor Hicks was crowned as the winner of Season 5, I was offered a job writing about the show during Season 6 (over at PhillyBurbs.com). I did that for several years (while also recapping shows like True Blood and Dancing With the Stars). And then I landed here, at Hammervision. Now I have a novel coming out in June, which, hi, you can pre-order here.
And it all started when Fox opened up its website to amateur bloggers.
Tonight the show went to Atlanta and Denver to look for Kelly Clarkson wannabes. Who did we meet (and will see again)? Let’s find out.
Michelle Marie, 15, Daytona Beach: She’s been watching Idol since she was four-years-old and she bases her life off the show, whatever that means. Ryan Seacrest conducts banal interviews in her living room? I’m picturing Kramer with Merv Griffin’s talk show set on Seinfeld. Anyway, at the ripe age of 15, she reached her life goal and it’s all down hill from here. Note: The hairdressers are champing at the bit to get their hands on her bangs.
Josiah Siska, 18, Tractorville: He loves Johnny Cash and he sings just like him. I would like to remind Josiah that he is auditioning to further his own singing career, not trying out for Million Dollar Quartet. That comes later, and, oh yes, it will come. Just ask all those has-beens who were sitting with the producers during early auditions (Hi, Ruben, Lee, Kris, Taylor, and Clay!).
Lindita, mature woman who is post-20 and obviously near death by Hollywood standards, Kosovo: Big voice, formerly big woman. I like her.
Lee Jean, 15, South Carolina: He’s adorable, and, like J-Lo, I’d also like to squeeze him. Hopefully it’d squeeze the pitch problems right out of him.
Jeneve Rose Mitchell, 15, Off the grid: She plays the cello and she sings country music. None of this should work, but it does. I am predisposed to root against the country set, but I like this girl. She has, as Harry Connick, Jr. said, “Crazy, stupid funk.”
Sonika Vaid, 20, Martha’s Vineyard: She’s very pretty and has a very pretty voice, but I’m not getting “star” from her at this point, despite Harry calling her an early frontrunner. Her voice is a little too “Disney princess.”
Reanna Molinaro, 24, Hobbs Police: As Harry put it, while handcuffed, “pretty, darn solid singer.” But maybe that’s about it?
QUICK HIT: Shevonne Philidor: Re-auditioner, Zoe Kravitz-esque.
QUICK HIT: Kory Wheeler: Re-auditioner, flood pants.
QUICK HIT: Laurel Wright: Re-auditioner, very short skirt.
Joshua Wicker, 25, FL: Named his daughter “Branch,” so, immediate disqualification.
Jordan Sasser, twenties, worship leader: Sings with the passion of the theater kids in Wet, Hot American Summer.
Kerry Courtney, 24, FL: He has a darkness to him, which is refreshing after the two singers who came before him, but he should be singing with a band. He needs to surround himself with others on stage to distract us from all his face-pulling.
Shelbie Z., 24, AL: She’s good, and I would never listen to her music.
Who’s on your radar so far?
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