Game of Thrones Recap - The Night Lands

Game of Thrones Recap - The Night Lands

The second episode of the second season of Game of Thrones felt like more catching up with people, namely the folks we didn’t see much of last week. This week there was no Robb Stark or Jaime Lannister or Bran or Catlyn or Sansa. This week we got to see a few people who fell through the cracks last week, namely Arya and Theon, while getting a little drive by action with Danerys and Stannis (emphasis on the action).

So, because I’m basically writing these recaps to help people, like John, who haven’t read the books, let’s play a quick round of “Who’s That?”

Who’s that guy with the dark hair who looks quite a bit older than Arya, yet I find myself strangely rooting for them to get together at some point? I mean, not like tomorrow, but in a few years when it’s perhaps more age appropriate? That’s Gendry. He’s one of Robert’s bastards and one of the few who survived the Great Bastard Massacre of Last Week. He likes to make things with iron. It’s kind of his deal.

Who’s the fat guy? Sam, you mean? The coward of the Night’s Watch who’s getting a little too invested in saving Craster’s daughter-wives?

Not that fat guy. The other fat guy. The one with Arya. Oh, that’s Hot Pie. He’s a baker’s apprentice and he thinks he’s a big tough toughy, but he’s really not. In Game of Thrones world, portly = craven. And his buddy’s name is Lommy Greenhands.

Who’s the man in the cage who likes to speak of himself in the third person? A person could wonder that. A woman could tell a person that a man named Jaqen H’ghar could be a prisoner who could be sent to the Wall.

Who’s the pirate with the ships? Wait. Basically, who are all those guys? There’s, like, Stannis, right? And then there’s the other guy who kind of looks like Stannis but keeps talking about how great Stannis is. And then there’s the younger guy? I just don’t care yet. You might never care. Stannis is the one who got freaky on the Monopoly board with Melisandre, the red woman. Davos Seaworth, AKA the Onion Knight who lost some fingers for being a smuggler, is Stannis’s right hand (too soon?) man. The younger guy is Davos’s son. I forget ever knowing his name. And the pirate is Salladhor Saan. Basically, he’s a pirate and now he’s fighting for Stannis.

Who’s the girl Sam was talking to? That’s Craster’s daughter-wife Gilly, no relation to Kristin Wiig’s character of the same name. She’s forbidden. And she’s pregnant. And she’s worried that if she has a boy, Craster will leave the baby out in the cold as an offering to…well, we don’t know that yet. Also, Craster’s Sons is a great band name.

Who was that girl Theon was feeling up so readily? Yeah, that was his sister, Yara, who was called “Asha” in the books. He didn’t know she was his sister, but she DEFINITELY knew he was her brother. If you can’t keep it in the pants, keep it in the family.

Other Stuff:

  • Yoren, the black brother taking Arya to the Wall, is a bad ass.
  • Also bad ass, naturally, is Tyrion. He stood up to Varys, who was sniffing around Shea. And then he brought down Janos Slynt, head of the city watch, and put Bronn in charge. (N.B. In the books, he does not put Bronn in charge of the gold cloaks. He puts another guy in charge, who apparently does not exist in TV Westeros.)
  • Tyrion to Cersei: “You’ve perfected the art of tearing up papers.”
  • Tyrion is taking the threat beyond the Wall seriously, Cersei is not. Who’s right? Only time will tell.
  • Danerys’s blood rider Rhakaro came back with his head removed from his body. It happens.
  • Theon stepping off the boat in his homeland and getting no welcome whatsoever is priceless. Especially after he so unceremoniously brushed off the lady he was banging on the boat.
  • Speaking of, there’s a lot of added sexposition in the Game of Thrones TV show. It seems like whenever someone needs to disseminate information, the writers just throw in a sex scene. But both scenes with Theon? Totally in the book.
  • Littlefinger is a good businessman, wiping the remains of coitus from one john off a prostitute’s lips and sending her immediately onto the next man. That’s why he holds the purse strings for all of King’s Landing.
  • Podrick Payne sighting! He’s Tyrion’s squire.
  • It seems as if Cersei did not give the order to kill all of Robert’s bastards. What a sentimental widow.
  • Melisandre wants to give Stannis a son…or so she says.

What did you think of Episode 2?

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Tags: Game of Thrones, HBO, Recaps, TV

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