I have many questions.
I have not read the Walking Dead graphic novels. So hopefully, when I inevitably post some hypothesis based on the show that has been proven wrong in the novels, some Walking Dead encyclopedia can correct me — in a respectfully condescending tone. I’m just a girl, sitting in front of a computer, trying to understand the rules of the Zombpocalypse.
The episode started out with a neat little juxtaposition of Rick eulogizing Dale while Shane, Andrea, Daryl, and T-Dog (wut-wut, T-Dog!) beat the crap out of some walkers. Rick was talking about how Dale wanted them to hold onto their humanity and that from now on they were going to do things Dale’s peaceful way. Apparently Shane’s group thought he was being sarcastic because they left the funeral and went on their zombie witch hunt, complete with pitchfork, baseball bat, and crossbow. Just as Dale would’ve wanted.
And Hershel is now totally in love with Rick and stuff. He felt bad that our zeroes had to sleep outside (Did we officially know they were sleeping outside? They’re always in the house. Anyway…), so he opened his door and offered the men the dining room floor and the women the kitchen because that’s where women belong, amirite? Maggie asked Glenn to sleep with her in his room, but he declined, because if there’s one thing Glenn hates it’s sleeping with ladies. He’s gonna stick with T-Dog in the dining room like a real man.
Hershel offered his bedroom to Lori and Rick. He hung around, wringing his hands, talking about his dead zombie wife, hoping for an invite to join Rick and Lori in their marriage bed. But the invite never came. *Cue sad Charlie Brown music.*
What else is as important as where everyone is now sleeping…? Oh, right. Carl. Carl went to Shane about his little run-in with the zombie who killed Dale. Shane was all, “You need this gun, Carl.” And Carl was like, “I don’t need a gun. Sure, Dale would be alive right now if I had just popped that zombie in the head when I had a chance, but I don’t anticipate my needing a gun anytime in the near or distant future.” So Shane went to Rick and was all, “Talk to your boy, you shitty father you.” And Rick was like, “Wah! Randall! Integrity!” And Shane was all, “I’ll be your son’s father if you’re not up to the task.” And then Rick went, “Whatever,” and marched over to one of the barns to have a heart to heart with Carl about how awesome guns are.
And then Shane decided to take the Randall matter into his own hands. He went to the barn (a different barn than Carl’s barn. There are lots of barns), sat in front of Randall, and silently went crazy. He pointed his gun at Randall and then looked at the prisoner’s handcuffs. Shane said, “Aw, hell no (I might be paraphrasing)” and took Randall out into the woods.
They walked through the trees for a while and then Shane killed Randall. He tried to make it look like Randall tripped and fell, and then Shane bashed his own face against a tree to simulate injuries from a fight. *Insert your theories about Shane’s motivation here. Was this just an eff-ewe to Rick? Was this part of a long con to get Rick into an empty field so that Shane could execute him? Did he really want to leave the group and join Randall’s buddies?*
Shane, Rick, Daryl, and Glenn (Why not T-Dog? Missed opportunity) took off into the woods to bring back Randall. In the dark. For, really, no good reason. Remember, they were going to kill this guy a few hours ago. But still, it was worth endangering the lives of four of their strongest menfolk. Daryl figured out pretty quickly that Shane and Randall had walked together for a long time before their tracks showed a scuffle and a tree showed some blood and, oh, zombie Randall showed his face. Daryl and Glenn killed zombie Randall. They didn’t see any zombie marks on him. But maybe they were under his clothes! “No,” said Daryl. Daryl has special glasses that let him see right through clothing. He bought them from a catalogue. Usually he uses them only for women, like Low Rent JLC, but tonight he used them on Randall. And he saw no zombie bites or scratches on the boy.
Meanwhile, in a field somewhere, Shane and Rick were having the same fight they’ve been having for weeks. Rick wondered what really went down with Randall. Shane complained about no one ever believing his lies. Shane called Rick a bad dad. Rick called Shane a wife-stealer. And then Rick, omniscient Rick, knew that Shane was going to kill him. And so he surrendered. He raised his hands. He offered his gun. He moved closer to Shane to hand over his weapon and *bang* Rick shot Shane right in the chest. And then I think there was a knife or something. It was dark, that’s all I know. And then Shane gurgled and died, but every time they cut to Jon Bernthal lying there in the field you could still see his pulse and his breath. Shane was dead? Maybe? I was confused, I’ll admit it.
And then Carl showed up and pointed his gun at Rick, and Rick thought he was about to get popped by his son. Until zombie Shane rose from the earth and took his first zombie breath. Then Carl shot him right in the head. Rick and Carl checked his zombie pulse as an entire cavalry of zombies approached them from the rear.
So…Here are my questions.
- I heard that the reason Shane became a zombie at the end of the episode was because that’s just what happens in Walking Dead world. People die and they become zombies. It’s why Daryl saw no marks on Randall’s corpse. OK. But how does that happen? How does every single body in the world know to become a zombie when it dies? Is it because of vaccinations? Someone alert Jenny McCarthy.
- What happens to people who are bitten/scratched by zombies? Does the zombie bite turn them into a zombie faster? Does the virus live in their bodies for a while? I’m just wondering because Shane started acting kind of off ever since he went to the school with Otis and came back and shaved his head. He had a scratch on his head. Was it a zombie scratch? Were the zombie germs making him go crazy?
- Good for T-Dog making his presence felt this episode.
What did you think? Were you as confused as I was about Shane’s zombie status? Will you miss the Locke of The Walking Dead? I will.