So, Rick has declared himself dictator over our zeroes, Andrea has been picked up by a hooded bandit who is probably very important in the graphic novels that I have not read, and a group of people governed by the Governor (I assume) are living in the prison just beyond the waterfall where our zeroes are holed up.
Now that all of that nonsense is out of the way, I can get to the important stuff. T-Dog had, like, one whole line tonight! And he got to do his Morgan Freeman driving Miss Daisy impression! And then he was forced to stand guard while the white folks rested! Progress.
Aside from T-Dog’s woes, I thought this was a pretty successful episode of Zombpocalypse. It could have been super successful if not for a few glaring things.
1. Lack of Character Development Comes Back to Bite the Writers in the Ass. Imagine how amazing that (pretty darn amazing) “let’s flee the barn” scene would’ve been if we, the audience, had any emotional connection to any of the characters besides T-Dog. As it stood, we lost two characters whose names I had never bothered to learn. Arzt had more character development in one episode than these two had over an entire season. RIP, blonde people.
2. Those Wimmins and Their Emotions. Obviously everyone is on her period. All the time. Because every woman on this show acts like the Dunphy women during their moon cycle. Maggie gets so emotional that she can’t even drive and has to let Glenn drive for her. And he’s Asian! (Daryl made that joke, not me.) Low Rent JLC went from meek little punching bag to motorcycle riding Lady MacBeth in the span of one episode. And Lori. Well, I’ll get to her later.
3. Carl Sucks Nards. There are decent child actors out there in the world. Carl Grimes is not one of them. I vote for a recast during the hiatus. Maybe they can get that girl who plays Sally Draper on Mad Men (yes, I know her name is Kiernan Shipka).
4. Lori Also Sucks. Lori told Rick just last episode that he needed to kill Shane. So he did. And now Lori’s mad at him (to be fair, she’s probably also peeved about Carl’s role in the homicide. Zombicide? Corporocide?). And she tried to force T-Dog to risk his life and the life of the one remaining blonde girl by going back to the walker-infested farm. And she was so mad at Rick for keeping secrets from her, even though she was the one who cheated on him and kept the secret about the possible paternity of her baby, who is probably going to be born a zombie. Lori’s so erratic, she must be pregnant AND on her period.
- When did Andrea become such a badass? I’m starting to like her, for no reason other than she acts nothing like the other women on this show.
- One thing I appreciated about this episode was that, now that Shane and Dale are dead, the stakes have been raised. Anyone can die at any time. Of course, this feeling was rendered moot after the only two people killed during this episode were Boy Blonde and Lady Blonde.
- Hershel had a nice little Gran Torino moment in front of his farmhouse. Also, how many times can his shotgun fire before he has to reload? It’s magic.
- I kind of liked when everyone split up into new groups. It felt very Game of Thrones (which returns April 1 on HBO). But then everyone got back together. And then Rick declared that he is now dictator. Making him the Joffrey Baratheon of our zeroes.
- Good Hershel line: “Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind.”
- Rick’s whole Jack Shepherd-y “Live together; die alone” stuff put Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” in my head. “Together forever and never to part.” I kind of wish that song had been played over the reunion scene where everyone’s cars miraculously showed up at the exact same spot at the exact same time.
- I felt like I was watching Smallville when Rick was talking in the foreground and Lori was standing behind him taking it all in. No one on Smallville ever looked at each other during a speech. *Nostalgia*
What did you think of the season finale?