Person of Interest (CBS, Thursdays at 8:00 PM)
Good News: J.J. Abrams and Christopher Nolan’s brother were/are involved!
Bad News: This is, at its essence, really just another CBS procedural.
Good News: Ben Linus!
Bad News: Jim Caviezel. How can I type that name to make it look more boring? I don’t know if any font is dull enough for Jim Caviezel.
Good News: But Jim Caviezel’s gray homeless beard was off the chain!
Bad News: Yeah, and then they shaved it.
Good News: But his hair the rest of the time was kind of ridiculous, too.
Bad News: Is that really all we’re talking about with this show? Jim Caviezel’s hair?
Good News: Well, smarty pants, it’s not JUST a procedural. There are numbers, like on Lost. You liked Lost, didn’t you, hippy?
Bad News: But I’m so confused about the numbers in this show. Like, the numbers on Lost were just a fun little sidetrack on a show that was chock full of engaging interpersonal relationships and complex characters and sweet dogs and creepy old men who put orange rinds in their mouths to make them look like they’re smiling oranges. The numbers on Person of Interest are supposed to engage us, but really I just find them irritating. So Ben Linus has a machine that spits out social security numbers of people who will soon be involved in a violent crime? Is that what happens? (In all honesty, I think Twitter distracted me during the part of the show where he kind of explained things. That might be 75% of my problem here.)
Good News: It’s like Minority Report! (And who do you think you are even talking about this show when you glossed over maybe the most important five minutes of any TV show last week?)
Bad News: There is no way that this was more important than the Green Screen Camel Toe. Also, if this show was good, a la Breaking Bad, there’s no way Twitter would have distracted me from it. Riddle me this: So Jim Caviezel has been tapped to thwart a violent crime that is about to be committed by or upon Natalie Zea. But in pursuit of stopping that violent crime, Jim Caviezel shoots, punches, and maims countless people. So, wouldn’t fewer people have been hurt if Jim had just stayed home that day with his bottle of butterscotch schnapps?
The Verdict: Uh, no. There are too many other, better shows to watch on Thursday night.