True Blood Recap - Fresh Blah

Where have you gone, Alcide?  Come back!


This week’s True Blood was a doozie of a snooze.  

Here’s my recap from


Penultimate seasonal episodes are meant to excite the viewer, to entice s/him to come back for the season finale.  The second-to-last episode of the season should be such a rip-roaring setup for the final episode that the viewer is left shrieking at the end, “Oh, my god!  How am I going to survive these two weeks until the season finale airs?” 

 “Fresh Blood” was not one of those second-to-last episodes.

True Blood has started so many different plotlines this season, and it’s been a race to the finish to see which plotlines stick and which ones falter.  Well, the only one that has managed to remain fresh and exciting is the vampire storyline.  And that storyline only took up, like, a fifth of the show last night.  The rest of the episode was filled with lazy dream sequences and abortion drum circles and Sam, and you know that’s never a good thing.

Let’s start with the only stuff that matters, though:

Russell Walking on Sunshine: The episode began with Bill rushing into Fangtasia to save Sookie from Eric, who all along has been trying to save Sookie from Bill.  Even though Pam told Bill that Sookie had left the building, Bill knew she was there and went straight to Eric’s sex dungeon to find her.  She was trapped in chains from which Bill couldn’t release her; but luckily Estonian waitresses who used to be cardiologists in their homeland hold really good grudges, and Yvetta showed up out of nowhere to release Sookie and piss Eric off.

Bill and Sookie took off to…hmm…I don’t know.  Were they running away from Russell and Eric, or were they running to them?  Anyway, they were traveling in a car and talking about starting over together with no Eric Northman in their lives.  Sookie wants to be a real estate agent, or maybe go to college.  Bill wants to teach school and “fish” with Jason.  I’m putting my own emphasis on the word “fish.”  Remember, Bill is not to be believed.

Then, just as Bill and Sookie were ready to ride off into the sunset, Eric and Russell showed up and crashed into Sookie’s car.  The two older vampires captured the fairy and Sookie and took them back to Fangtasia.  Bill and Eric fought.  Russell took Sookie inside.  Bill and Eric stopped their fight and had a powwow about how to save Sookie.


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