(Queue music please. Yes, that tune. Yes, the theme song for last night’s TV series debut that for some reason also had to accompany every commercial promoting the network. I’m sorry, OK? Please? Thank you.)
Way back on Sunday old, a TV series was sold
About a hero known as Galavant!
Square jokes and musical – dick humor everywhere –
There was no TV series quite like Galavant!
Oversold! Plus ev’ry other commercial value –
From the beginning, it’d disenchant you!
Sigh, it bored in ev’ry way! A few laughs, I guess, touche!
And people called out, Galavant?
The show we’re speaking of, it had a lady love –
A total (derogatory word of your choice here) known as Madalena.
Turns out to be so mean, just to help move the theme.
And the jester scenes are quite disturbia. Ah!
Not a show for your young son or daughter –
More so to protect from bad jokes than adult matter.
No safety even when the commercials begin!
They all are screaming the theme song to “Galavant!”
A savior for the show would arise:
Richard, a king full of self-doubt and weak stature.
He steals every scene, delight in his eyes.
As he prances about. The Mick Jagger of this band.
If he were the star, Galavant sure would be better.
Some other things happen! A princess has her say!
A squire hangs out with Galavant!
And then there’s John Stamos, I guess his name still rates
At least he’s not playing Galavant!
Now, it’s not all bad, dear sir –
The final song is not the worst thing ever!
So, huzzah and tally ho! Might give this show another go!
It can only get better for Galavant!
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