Maybe motivation isn’t the right word. Maybe “drive” would be better. I am embarrassed to say this, but I have really gotten lazy in a lot of aspects in my life.
I have been a firefighter for 26 years. I remember the feeling of excitement when I first started going to the firehouse. Now I make fun of the “new guy vigor” that some people have. I still enjoy the job but the fun and excitement that I once had with it is somehow missing.
I have my days as a good husband and father but there are more moments than I care to admit that I am just plugging along, not winning any “Father Of The Year” awards.
My running and triathlon training has even taken a hit. I can list all the excuses from injuries to not being part of a running group to a host of reasons that my training has been less than it used to be. The truth is that I just seemed to have lost that oomph.
Even my prayer life is not what I would like it to be. I need to spend more time in God’s Word and talking to Him but instead, the time I spend with Him has been reduced from what it was and from what I would like it to be.
So how do I get it back? Part of my problem is that I have been off work for a while due to finger surgery and vacation. The rest of my family has also been off from school. Don’t get me wrong, I have LOVED being with them but it hasn’t helped me with the structure I need to be successful with a routine.
I definitely thrive better with a regular routine. Now that I am going to be in one again, perhaps it will help me get my motivation back again.
What’s popping through my head right now is grace. God is so awesome with the grace that He gives me. Even being as lazy as I have been in all aspects of my life, He continues to be there for me, waiting for me to talk to Him.
2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I know that God has blessed me with a great family and a great responsibility to lead them. My wife is the poster child for grace and is my biggest supporter and cheerleader.
He has blessed me with a great job that still gives me laughs and also blesses me with a great schedule so I can be with my family a lot and also have time to myself.
He has blessed me with many years as a cancer survivor and the many great opportunities to try and inspire other cancer survivors. I need to remember that when I am struggling with a run or bike-ride that even being out there at all is a good thing. I need to cut myself some slack and extend myself a little grace. Considering I wasn’t blessed with much athletic ability, I need to really keep my athletic achievements in perspective.
So, here I go. I am praying to God to help me find my motivation that I miss so much.
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found
Was blind, but now I see
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