Christians need to stop focussing on gay marriage

I am tired of hearing people debate the gay marriage topic. I understand that it’s a heated, passionate issue. I have heard both sides of this topic for years and to be quite honest, I think Christians have really missed the boat on this. I have remained silent for as long as I can and I’d like to see some changes made.

I have heard people quoting scripture against homosexuality. I have seen the protests. I have seen a fast food chicken place have lines around the building because the owner answered a question on the topic. Frankly, I’m not even talking about gay marriage because that’s not what I think we should be addressing. 

If Christians are really concerned about the breakdown of the family structure, they need to take the target off of gay marriage and start putting it on divorces. Let’s start pointing the finger at ourselves in our churches rather than pointing it at others. Let’s focus on our own marriage for a change rather than constantly looking at what we feel is wrong in God’s eyes.

Is your marriage glorifying to God? Are you living out solid biblical principles in your household? If not, let this be your wake up call to start. I know that some will say that I am being hypocritical talking about divorce considering that I got divorced from my first wife back in 2005. I have learned a lot since then and I am not the same person I was. I have seen a lot of things and read and learned a lot about marriage since then. The biggest thing is that I did accept Jesus as my Savior in 2006. I do believe that the experiences God has led me through has given me some strong clarity on some issues.

If I had a penny for every time I have heard someone going through a divorce say “I love them but I’m not in love with them”. I’m not even sure what that means but I do believe that love is a choice. The grass is greener where you water it. Stop looking for some fairy tale romance. Happiness is a choice.

Our society has gotten to the point where marriage is a prize on a reality show. We have show after show about weddings but not many on building healthy marriages. We have “no fault” divorces. A no-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrongdoing by either party. Seriously?!?! And we are going to point the fingers at gay marriage as the breakdown of the family?

It’s easier to get out of a marriage now then it is to get out of a cell phone contract or gym membership. In this country you can come home from work and tell your spouse the marriage is over and he or she can do nothing but cry, and fight for the best financial payout possible. That’s messed up and should be changed.

Let’s gut our nations no fault divorce laws. Couples who want out of a marriage for reasons of abuse, adultery, abandonment, or other reasons, will still be able to do so. We should be making it harder to get divorced, not easier. How about a minimum 1 year of counseling before a divorce is allowed. Let’s make it 2 years if there are kids involved. Now that would show some seriousness about keeping the family structure intact.

If Christians want to quote scripture about Gods seriousness toward marriage, they need to look at what Jesus said in the book of Matthew.

Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate.”

Being true to your vows doesn’t just mean staying married, it means acting married. Worry about the grass in your own yard before trying to tell someone else how to take care of theirs. Let’s focus on getting the divorce rate down for everyone. We as followers of Christ should be leading by example. We need to love our spouses. Marriages shouldn’t just exist for the benefit of the two people involved but for the Glory of God that should be seen by everyone through that marriage.

I don’t want to get into a debate about gay marriage. I know people have very strong opinions on this topic. My goal was not to offend anyone or ruffle feathers. My goal is to open up some eyes to what I feel is the breakdown of our family structure and that is people’s selfishness and the ease of getting a divorce. Until we, as Christians, start to really look at our own sinful nature and the log in our own eye, the family unit will continue to break down.

1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.


Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.

Leave a comment