If you're gonna do it, do it for you

There’s nothing more empowering that setting a goal for yourself, and reaching it.. BY YOURSELF.

If you’re the type of person that feels this type of empowerment all the time, you’re lying. Nobody reaches major life goals all the time, and you shouldn’t. Life goals should take place over the course of a lifetime. Not once a month as some annoying instagrammers might portray.

Social goals are important too. They make you feel good about right here and right now. Something along the lines of making a good dinner, take a mini vacation (just you, even for the day!), taking yourself to a nice lunch, finally seeing that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with.

Then there are the big life goals: getting your own home, starting a family, getting an education, learning a life skill. Or my two personal favorites: stepping outside of your comfort zone and making a major life change.

It’s okay to feel good about what you’ve accomplished. Whether it be about the cute little happy goals or big giant life goals. Be proud and be happy you’ve gotten there.

I was raised not to brag. And I am glad for that, because there’s nothing more annoying that your coworker breezing past the “good morning” you just gave them only to fall victim to an unwanted brag fest about their new “thing”, whatever that may be.

Do not brag, but be happy. If that means telling someone about your accomplishments, go for it. But you don’t have to tell someone in order for it to feel good or real. Granted, for me, it helps. But it’s not necessary. Just share it with the right people. The ones who care about what you’ve gone through to reach that goal.

When I was thinking back to my weight loss a few years ago, I realized I don’t like to talk about it. I feel like it’s drawing too much attention to myself if I talk about it. I never even told my last boyfriend about it because I thought it made me look weak. When people used to give me compliments when they noticed the change I made, it made me uncomfortable. I couldn’t even make eye contact.

Why? Why are we afraid to take a compliment? Does it mean we are pompous if we enjoy when someone says nice things about us? It’s not like I was out there fishing for compliments.

People are not idiots. They can tell when you’re hunting for comments. And they don’t like it.

Cue that person who only posts on social media when they have an item they want to add to their high light reel. I have a lot of mixed emotions about social media. I like to see what’s happening with my “people”, but I don’t like feeling that I’m somehow less than perfect if I don’t post enough like-worthy things. The like button was the worst thing to happen to Facebook.

Remember that the things you do for yourself, to better yourself or make yourself happy, are for YOU. Don’t expect anyone else to notice. If they do, you may get that warm, fuzzy feeling of affirmation from your peers. But if they don’t, you need to remember you did them for yourself. There’s a lot of satisfaction (and an even warmer, fuzzier feeling) in understanding that you don’t need anyone’s affirmation to feel good about yourself.

Speaking from experience, that’s when good things happen.



Filed under: Advice, Lifestyle, Uncategorized

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