5 things non-parents need to stop saying to parents...please and thank you

Becoming a parent was the ultimate game changer for me. In three years, I’ve become a person who I never imagined I’d be. I’m much stronger, make better decisions and have less tolerance for B.S than ever before. If you would have told me that being someone’s mother would make me an all-around better person, I probably would have thought you were crazy.

Seeing as though none of us were born as parents, one thing we all have in common, is that we were all non-parents at one point in life.This means that us parents have no desire to hear some of the most common unsolicited or unwanted statements many childless adults feel the need to say to us. I’m sure there’s a laundry list of them, but below are five of my least favorite things to hear from non-parents.

What you would or wouldn’t do or allow your child to do, if you had one– Sorry not sorry, please don’t compare your hypothetical parenting with my actual parenting. You can’t say exactly how you’ll handle certain situations until you’re faced with them.

How your life is so much better or easier because you don’t have children – One we remember what it’s like to not be parents, and two not all parents sit in the house and look at their children all day. We actually have lives, go to work, travel, work out and shop and sometimes without our little ones in tow. I’m actually writing this post while my daughter is spending the week with my dad. I’m actually looking forward to her coming home tomorrow.

That you don’t have children because you’re more responsible/careful– Chile please, have several seats and girl boom. We all know that pregnancy is a matter of science, it happens when it happens and while being careful is a plus, that’s not necessarily the reason you don’t have children.

You have so much more money/success/material items because you don’t have”responsibilities” – Yes, children are expensive and you will have to make certain sacrifices as a parent, but your children motivate you to do more to provide the things you need and want for them and yourself. My career began to look up  more once my daughter was born, because I refused to settle and went after want I wanted even harder. I completed my Graduate school program with a five month old, which meant I was pregnant for most of grad school and a new mom for the rest. I commend success of anyone, but it’s not that hard to be accomplished when you only have yourself to worry about.

How you don’t want to hear about my child, or can’t see why I always have to talk about my child– My child is my world. Chances are you will hear about her whenever you talk to me. If you don’t like it, don’t talk to me, I promise I won’t be mad. This is the worst one because so many people say it. It’s the dumbest of them all in my opinion.

This post is in no way bashing non-parents in any way, I’m just sharing a few of my pet peeves that I’m sure many other parents can relate to. I have several friends and family members without children who don’t make any of these statements or ask offensive questions. Did I miss one that you hate to hear? Please share it in the comments.

 

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  • I'm a non-parent who will never be a parent and I definitely agree that when non-parents say those things, it's pretty annoying. To each their own, right? Don't judge others for their choices and all that.

    That said, parents say similarly dumb things to non-parents and more specifically, to those who choose not to be parents. One I get a lot is that I'll change my mind about being a parent when I grow up and become more mature. I'm 30 years old. I pay my bills. I have a steady job. I maintain an apartment and take care of a dog. I'd say I'm plenty mature and yet I still have no desire to have kids.

    Another I hear a lot is that my life will never have meaning if I don't have kids. See above. Between my job, my hobbies and my dog, my life has plenty of meaning.

    Much as you're not bashing non-parents, I'm not bashing parents. We just all need to quit saying stupid, judgmental things to each other based on deeply personal choices.

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    Hi Bill! Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I agree with you completely. I think parents should refrain from saying those annoying things you mentioned as well. We should definitely be more accepting of the choices of others.

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