Watch Out for “Old Friends” Who Connect on Facebook

Watch Out for “Old Friends” Who Connect on Facebook

In high school I had a friend that was like a sister to me. Two years older, we were inseparable. We lost contact and haven’t seen one another for over 25 years. Then on Facebook recently, I received a request from her to connect. I had thought of her occasionally and wondered what she had been up to. Excited by the potential of reconnecting and chatting about old times, I immediately accepted her Friend request and sent her a note with my contact information. She quickly responded and it seems we were on our way to a past due reunion.

Since we have connected on Facebook we have been corresponding on this site. It appears that my old friend is in need of help that I can not provide. Why now after all of these years did she reach out to me? And what does she want? Is she in real trouble and contacting her old friends for help? Or is she remembering a time in her life when there was a hopeful future and countless opportunities? Time has a way of limiting these opportunities with every decade that passes us by.

So it got me thinking that when should we help out an old friend from the past with whom we have lost contact with? Is this something we should do or take a pass on? I guess it depends on how close we were to them and how busy we are. But, the friend we knew then is not the same person that they are now.  We only know them as they were, not as they are today. If we don’t know much about their life during these many years that have passed and the choices they made, should make ourselves available to them?

My instinct with this old friend of mine is that she is really is not the same person I remembered. Her life choices have changed her, as it does all of us. I sense that we no longer have anything in common. The days of us talking about our high school crushes and going to bars together to pick up men have long passed.  She says she is jobless, but wants no help. Yet, why then reach out to me after decades?

There are some troubling signs that I should have paid attention to. She has no photos of herself on Facebook and either does her daughter have photos of her.  Facebook was created on posting photos, so where are the pictures of her? It seems that she doesn’t want to be seen. She has called and left messages and rambling emails defending her position in life, of which since I haven’t seen her in 25 years have no idea what she is talking about.

We have exchanged voice mails, yet I suspect we will never talk. My feeling is that my old friend has been “on the run” for some time, living largely by herself and making friends along the way in her journey.   Has she has reached a dead end? I don’t know. Is she happy? I am not sure. The reality is that this person is someone I no longer know and it is best to keep her in my memory rather than connect.

A lesson to be learned is to be cautious when an old friend finds you on Facebook. Take a moment before you respond and do a little research. Do some soul searching and question why they are contacting you. Find out more about them before you accept them into your network and life.





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  • I had this same situation of old female school mates who would never give me the time of day back then...... 30 years later, after their second divorce, four kids, etc, they want to hook up with me...........why?.....because I am damn good looking for my age, and still single...........and maybe they heard I had some money..........some of them were friends of my sister, and saw me one day at the store or a family funeral. I remember these girls were good looking when they were in their teens.....and now....they look like 15 years older......with lots of "baggage" in life. I look at it this way, they were not nice to me back then, why should I give them the time of day now!

    So I just move on. Meeting new women friends for relationships is much better than going back in time with old female school mates. When I think more about those old female school classmates, they were the biggest sluts around. Their sexual lifestyle & failed marriages they had proved they were not worth of re-hooking up.

  • Thanks for sharing. Sometimes, it is best to take a step back, and evaluate the person's true intentions. Yes, sometimes friends do lose touch, and reuniting can spark the relationship again; however, be true to yourself, and take steps necessary in protecting your own interest.

  • I got fired request for some girls I have not seen since high school I know who they are never talk to them I was like what ever. On my friend list the did the same never talk. Then this this one girl message me he was up I like you in high school that's nice I reply I have a wife now with kids she replays I don't care come bang me... I said no. Give me your number no I say so I un friend her . The next week she keep sending me friend request so I blocked her she made another account sent more request for about 4 mouths I just ignored them. She keep message me give me a child I want sex offer me money to meet her. After A Year I Block Her And Now Use And Fake Name Told All My Friends Who I am....

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