Sometimes, I consider myself an expert on geek relationships. Other times, I freak out because I really haven’t had that many boyfriends, and I have a lot of male friends, and I see a lot of them only at conventions, and I sometimes dress up with people I’m not dating, and does that make me a bad person, and stop looking at me, and why are people judging me like that ANYWAY?!
…Sorry. Anxiety. The next 3 posts will be about things you can do on Valentine’s Day for that special, scruffy-looking nerf herder in your life.
Part 1: awesomeness you can order without leaving the house. These items will be sure-fire winners* on February 14th.
1. Geek Soap! Forget the overpriced LUSH and Bath & Body Works. GEEKSOAP is where it’s at! Your sweetie will appreciate these handmade luxuries by default, but the best part is the scent. I’ve purchased the Mario-inspired Mystery Blocks ($6.50); the orange pumpkin spice is divine. For your Valentine’s needs, the “<3” piece ($5.50) is a safe bet. I, however, prefer the newest addition: Game of Thrones Crests ($6.00).
2. ThinkGeek.com! ThinkGeek has become mainstream in the last 2 years, so there’s a ton of merch to weed through. Skip the 8-bit flowers; their flat composition only looks cool from one angle. Instead, try the 8-bit Dynamic Life Shirts ($17.99-$24.99) and watch your health bar fill when you’re together! Also, the Han Solo in Carbonite Chocolate Bar ($9.99) is a neat departure from the classic, heart-shaped box.
3. Music by JoCo! I have seen Jonathan Coulton perform 3 times. His lyrics about misunderstood zombies and lonely mad scientists move me. His latest album, Artificial Heart, shows massive vocal improvement… but JoCo seems to be in a dark place.** A better profession of love would be a custom-made mix. A few suggestions to start your V-Day playlist: I’m Your Moon, Code Monkey, Skullcrusher Mountain, Drinking With You.
What’s that? You’re a geek girl and your boyfriend needs ideas? OR, you’re wooing a geek girl and came here for inspiration? Visit Her Universe or Geek Chic Cosmetics. The former carries Boba Fett panties (!!) and a sexy, Cylon-inspired top. The latter will turn eyelids the exact purple of Rose Tyler’s jacket, and lips the teal of DBZ Bulma’s hair.
If material objects aren’t your thing, stay tuned. The next few posts will feature unique Chicago date nights, as well as tickets to shows only a nerd could love.
*By “sure-fire winners,” I mean *I* like them, so obviously the entire world will.
**Jonathan Coulton claimed at Dragon*Con 2011 to be a “happy person,” and that no secret, inner darkness inspired his current music. Seriously? Have you heard “Today With Your Wife”? “Sticking it to Myself”? “Nobody Loves You Like Me”?? You’re not fooling anybody, Coulton.