The White Sox, you guys, are really bad. While it’s not true that there’s absolutely nothing good about them, it is true that there is almost absolutely nothing good about them. There’s a lot that needs to be fixed before this turns into a competitive club, from the top of the major league team to the bottom of their lowliest affiliates. Some of that process is already in motion, but in my impatience I have taken it upon myself to present the White Sox with several ideas on how to fix the team, only to be summarily shot down at every point. Judge for yourself.
Idea #1: Eloy Jimenez is currently in the minor leagues. What about, Eloy Jimenez is in the major leagues?
Ok, to be fair, this one is pretty obvious, but he’s torn it up at every level he’s encountered and service time manipulation is anti-fan and anti-talent. Sure, sure, he hasn’t been to AAA yet, but it looks like he has a decent handle on AA. He’s currently batting .321/.357/.604 in 26 games, and that’s after a slow start returning from injury. Also, the White Sox are very bad.
Idea #2: There’s a big outfield crunch at Winston-Salem, between Blake Rutherford, Luis Alexander Basabe, Alex Call, Joel Booker, and Micker Adolfo, with the return of Based Luis Robert a hopeful looming presence. It helps that Adolfo has been DH-ing this season due to whatever is going on with the whole elbow thing (a strained UCL that the Sox are hoping will resolve without surgery), but this is the minors. You’re allowed to get crazy. I say straight-up sacrifice the DH (that’s a whole other post) and play all five of them in the outfield. When Robert comes back, put him out there too. I’m curious to see if Gavin Sheets can play the outfield – why not try? Nine-man outfield. Pitch from the outfield.
Idea #3: Related. There are three levels of White Sox affiliates in North Carolina, all within about an hour and a half of each other. This makes it easy for scouts and management to see a whole bunch of players at different developmental levels in just a day or two. There’s the AAA Charlotte Knights, the A+ Winston-Salem Dash, and the A Kannapolis Intimidators.
Doesn’t that seem like a lot of work? Wouldn’t it be easier if there was just one team? Football teams have a 75-man roster, right? Baseball really isn’t that much different. They can even buddy up – have all three teams play three different games, all at the same time. Mason Robbins, Alex Call, and Nolan Brown playing a simultaneous center field. Saves money on operations and staffing too. I see very little that can go wrong.
Idea #4: Luis Gonzalez is hitting .328/.389/.547 in 31 games, including 7 two-hit games, 6 three-hit games, and a .391 average over his last 10 games. Currently, he is an outfielder for Kannapolis. My idea: promote him to Winston-Salem, do not make any other roster moves, ten-man outfield.
Idea #4.5: On the flip side and adding to Idea #1, once Jimenez is promoted, don’t fill his outfield spot; just leave right field open as a tribute. The Dash have the outfield covered, I don’t think the Barons need the full three.
Idea #5: Back to the major league club. Skip the first inning, and also skip the bottom half of each inning when on the road, and the top half when at home. All problems solved!
Idea #6: Pay the minor league players a fair wage, LOL!
Idea #7: Trade Dunning, Kopech, Basabe, and Diaz back to the Red Sox for Chris Sale; we can really use him on the big-league staff this year, and then after the season when we’re a little closer to competitiveness we can do the trade again. That’s how it works.
Idea #8: Report Victor Diaz to the police as a missing person, because he hasn’t been seen by his loved ones (White Sox fans) at all this year. Or most of last year. No news or updates. Coincidentally, the Dash scored four runs against a Victor Diaz this season. It is a different Victor Diaz.
Idea #9: What if, like, *inhales deeply* what if we all just loved each other instead of criticizing player performances? In the grand scheme of things, do wins and losses and blown saves even matter? Does… does anything matter? Oh no
Idea #10: Just on a personal level, I think all teams should have a throwback day in tribute to the 1976 White Sox and wear shorts. Just for one season! Maybe just a couple homestands. Who doesn’t like shorts? They’re comfy and easy to wear.
Idea #11: please stop bunting
Idea #12: Injuries have been a problem with top prospects: Jimenez missed time this season, Adolfo has his weird Schrodinger’s Elbow deal, Alec Hansen, Zack Burdi, and Diaz have yet to make their first appearances of 2018, Robert is somewhere recovering in the Arizona desert, Jake Burger’s leg fell off and is slowly decomposing underneath Sox-35th. Baseball is notable for the sheer length of its season and the physical demands of the repetitive motions necessary to excel, all of which takes a toll on the human body. My proposal: stop playing prized prospects entirely until they are major league ready, then play them in the major leagues. I can’t believe nobody has thought of this.
Idea #13: Promote me to president of baseball oper- ok that’s fair thank you for your consideration
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Filed under: The Silo