Mean girls... we're born that way

Girls are bitches.  It’s so true.  And just when I think, well maybe I have been too hard on my kind my whole life, I get yet another reminder of why girls are bitches and I really don’t like us.

My 9 year old likes a boy.  Let’s call him Ralph.  For lack of a better name and to keep some secrecy.  So she likes Ralph.  Alot.  In fact all the fourth grade girls seem to like him.  Everyday there is a new Ralph story about some girl chasing him, playing with his hair, etc.

So yesterday my girl informs me that her best friend, let’s call her Aubrey, for lack of a better name, she informs me that Aubrey told her if she continues to like Ralph they will not only no longer be best friends but will not even be friends.

Oh hell NO.

So this is where my mean girl  instincts kicked in.  I told her that Aubrey will never get Ralph because not only is she ugly on the outside, but her insides are a perfect match for her ugly face.  And that she doesn’t want a friend like that.   I knew it was wrong as soon as the words came flying out of my mouth.  But I was mad.  And I couldn’t control the girl part of my brain.

I then told her of the time that my best friend and I both slept with the same boy… okay so  I left out the sleeping part.   We didn’t know it at the time but when we found out, we remained freinds.  I didn’t threaten her that if she continued to “sleep” with him I would no longer be her friend.  In fact, we bonded over the fact of what a douchebag he was.  And then we compared notes like any two REAL girlfreinds would do.

My daughter seemed happy when I got so defensive and ugly over this.  I know it’s because it’s probably exaclty what she was thinking but because of my motherly programming instilled in her she had to hold it in.   I have been trying to teach her to not think this way and to be a good kind lovely person.   Which goes against everything we as girls are born with.

This little girl broke  my little girl’s heart.  Because let’s face it.  At that age boys don’t break your heart.  Girls do.  Friends do.  Girls are always playing these little games of “who’s your best friend?”.    And playing the power card of “Well I’m your best friend so you have to play only with me on recess and don’t talk to so and so”.  Ugh.  I see all of this when I visit school and I have to bite my tongue or the words “you dress like a slut, you need a hairbrush and you aren’t allowed at my house anyway” might come spewing out of my mouth.  And that would be bad.

That is why my female friends list is small.  A few select special women who I know would never pull that shit on me.  And that is why I like being friends with men so much better.   They would never tell me who I can and cannot like or talk to or sit with.  Sure most of them want to eventually try to get in my pants, but that’s okay.   I will take that drama over GIRL drama anyday.

**NOTE*** Nobody needs to call DCFS becuase I had a talk with my child and informed her that Aubrey wasn’t really ugly (lied) but mommy was just mad that she hurt her and I shouldn’t have said those mean ugly things because then I was being ugly on the inside too which made me ugly on the outside.   Ugh.

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