Why are my kids afraid of the easter bunny? I have done everything right. Given them baskets full of messy colored grass year after year. Piled high with more candy then they could ever possibly eat before June. Barbies. Movies. Big fuzzy bunnies and lambs. And NEVER a single jelly bean. Yet tonite they are in my bed, cramping MY STYLE because they are afraid.
My youngest said she was afraid to look out of the curtains tonite because she didn’t want to see his buck teeth. My middle child thinks he is a vampire. Can you IMAGINE him sticking those incisors into your jugular? OUCH!
They have left a note for him. My youngest read me the note, then said she was going to hide it so that I wouldn’t be able to answer the questions for him. That was right after she told me she was going to “strangle” me in the night so she would be sure to prove to herself that I wasn’t him. She didn’t know the meaning of strangle. At least that’s what she claims after I started crying.
She wants to know what color he is. How long it takes him to deliver the baskets. Where he lives. And if he has a tail. My 21 year old told her he’s not a PSYCHIC, he’s just a bunny with a basket, so she better not hide it. He won’t FIND the note. Now it’s sitting on my kitchen counter.
My oldest was going out tonite. I yelled to her to lock the door behind her. “How will the Easter bunny get in if you lock it?”. That’s what I heard coming from my bed. I stuttered while I thought of an answer. I told her he has a magic carrot that doubles as a key.
As I prepared their baskets tonite, while they were sleeping, I realized I didn’t get chocolate bunnies. OMG! I have had so much on my mind that I sorta fogot. Or perhaps it was done subconsciously on purpose because they only gave me ONE egg to color. One. Don’t they know how much fun I have writing with the crayon and seeing the name magically appear as I put the egg in pink dye? Or switching my egg into too many colors til I make the perfect shade of barfy gray?
I do feel a little bad though. I heard my daughter tell her sister that she hopes she gets a giant chocolate bunny in her basket. Thank goodness I can blame that nasty mean ole blood sucking bucked tooth Easter bunny!
Filed under: Uncategorized