Repatriation Blues

The USA immigration system is one giant clusterfuck of a ball ache (presumably – being a non-bearer of balls). Add a tangerine colored cockwomble that seriously just needs to spontaneously combust already, and well, immigration headache for all, and not just the muslims that the media are reporting on. Immigration is affecting everybody. I should... Read more »

Chicago won me over, but back to England we go!

Three years ago – right at this moment – I was probably passed out from jet lag. It was the third day of our American adventure; a new life in a place where nobody knew me, other than my husband. It was exciting, and terrifying all at the same time. Most of my previous life... Read more »

Dear Assistant Principal: Thanks for the Unsolicited Attendance advice

Dear Assistant Principal Thank you for the recent “fill in the gap with child’s name” (very impersonal) correspondence regarding Mini Madam’s attendance, and the concern that she has missed eight days in the first quarter, and is on track to miss 18 days this year. She is? How do you know that, unless it actually... Read more »

Be Someone, Not No One

It’s tough to grieve a child when they are fine. He is okay. He hasn’t gone anywhere. in front of me. He has always needed me. But it has taken a long long time to get past the feelings of uselessness or guilt if he had a meltdown – a meltdown, not a tantrum. There... Read more »

I want a cheese and pickle sandwich, and it's not weird...

Of all the things I learned about breastfeeding while I was pregnant, there is something they don’t tell you about. The hunger. Which is incredible because my waistline is becoming, well, waist-like remarkably quickly given that I am only nine weeks post partum (or post birth, for the UK readers – I forget what the... Read more »

This homemaker is making a happy home, not a show home

I can’t remember when I last washed the floors. There is a load of wet washing that I literally just remembered, now, at 12:46 am when I have just climbed into bed, but so cannot be bothered to traipse downstairs in the dark to attend to. One, because – fuck that, and two, because half... Read more »

How far we have come: Autism and Birthday Parties

Once upon a time, there was a mother who had a very bad day. Her three year old little boy had been invited to a birthday party by one of the other children at his preschool. Given his age, it was the kind of party where parents stay and join in the fun. The mother... Read more »

The Expat Baby - age minus nine weeks (ish): On Baby Showers

Baby showers. Such a bizarre concept to me. People come to a party thrown in your – or your soon-to-be bundle of joy’s – honour. They bring gifts, picked out from a registry of things that you need for the baby – usually chosen by you – and you all gather to coo over cutesy... Read more »

Born in the USA: The Expat Baby (Part One)

Where has the time gone? Two years ago I was packing up my house in England in preparation for moving across the pond to Chicago. It doesn’t seem like it has been that long, but here we are. Having fallen into a routine, I don’t seem to have had many experiences as an expat in... Read more »

Time to get tough with my son's school

Ever have the feeling you are probably about to annoy somebody? That’s me today. It’s the first day back at school, and I am sure the recipients of my email are going to be wishing it was still vacation time. A little back story. Back in August, the powers that be in charge of Mini... Read more »