Dead presents, dirty socks and the art of learning to not always speak my mind

My 5 year old informed me today that he needs a hair cut and that his nails need to be cut too. He followed that up by telling me we should probably take care of the hair and nails of his little brother while we are at it. He hates when I cut his nails and has never cared about the length of his hair. Ever.

I bought my kids three little goldfish for Valentine’s Day and was so excited for them to come downstairs this morning to see their new fish, but at 2:00 this morning I realized that all 3 were dead. At 2:00 this morning all I had for my kids for Valentine’s Day was a fish bowl full of water and three dead fish in the toilet.

My husband had to put serious effort into finding a clean pair of socks this morning and I actually was a little nervous that he was going to end up having really cold, sockless feet or really smelly dirty sock feet today but thankfully he found a clean pair. I don’t know how that happened because I don’t know how long it has been since I have done laundry…unless starting the washing machine with the same load of laundry in it about every 3rd day counts as doing laundry. And if that’s the case, then it’s been 3 days since I’ve done laundry and I probably need to go start the washing machine.

My mom had to give my kids baths for me yesterday because I didn’t have time to give them baths the night before because it was another late basketball night and because I didn’t wake up in time to give them baths before work because I barely woke up with enough time to actually get to work. She also told me that she would watch the boys a little longer so that I could stop and grab food for them to eat in the car on our way to another basketball game which I appreciated not only because that was really nice of her and meant less time in the car for the boys, but also because it reminded me that I need to feed them.

I have friends and family who are waiting for me to respond to text messages and emails and e-vites and Facebook messages that are days old at best and a few weeks ago I checked my personal email for the first time in apparently a long time because I had a number of New Year’s Eve invitations in there. Maybe they will want to ring in 2016 with me…if I’m lucky.

My stomach was killing me earlier this week and while I somehow managed to escape the stomach ache from hell without convincing myself that I was dying or that I had the measles or some other disease that seems to be making a really cool comeback because vaccines are apparently not cool enough for some really cool people, I did find myself with the same stomach ache again 2 days later before realizing that I was eating relatively dangerously expired Greek yogurt. I almost started to panic that maybe I had fed my kids that accidental science experiment and that they too were going to have a stomach ache from hell but then I remembered that I have only fed them things like fast food and cookies for about the last 2 weeks because I am a really good mom like that. (No really, they think I’m like a really good mom lately. It’s the best).

I have been like 1/4 good at about 1/2 of the things I have done the past couple of weeks. And I’ve only gotten around to about 1/3 of the things that I should have gotten to. So by my calculation, I’m like not very good at some things right now but sort of good at other things. Which reminds me, I said I would mail checks for a lot of Girl Scout cookies to a lot of people a few weeks ago. That also reminds me that my gym is open 24 hours a day and I should probably go there like right now on account of all of the cookies I will apparently be eating soon (if I remember to mail those checks).

I cried at my desk by myself yesterday morning which is cool because I work in an office with 2 men who are usually not there. But they were both there yesterday and they are both my bosses and it’s always cool when your bosses think you are a whack job who cries at her desk. I’m sure if I would have just told them that my family was all out of socks and that my kid asked me for a haircut or that my youngest one calls me “YaYa” more than he calls me mom they would have totally understood the tears. Obviously.

It’s been a long couple of weeks, and I think I might be being a little hard on myself. I mean, it might not hurt to talk myself out of this little “I can’t do it all” panic attack by looking at the things I have done recently that were good. I’m a firm believer that every now and then we all could stand to pat ourselves on the back and be proud of what we did instead of looking at what we didn’t do. And I think I am to that point.

I bought the family new underwear this week. Yes, I clearly should have also bought more socks since laundry is obviously off of my radar right now, but at least everyone wasn’t running around looking for socks AND underwear this morning. That just would have been awkward. And this is about what I DID do, and I DID buy my people underwear. Go me.

I managed to workout at the gym this week even though I’ve been incredibly busy, so that totally deserves an “Attagirl” if you ask me. Why focus on the fact that I went to the gym less than I didn’t go to the gym or that I ended up with a blister and a broken set of earbuds out of the deal? I went to the gym. Good for me!

I also remembered to bring my water bottle with me everywhere I went this week. It’s had the same water in it since Monday, but whatevs. I brought it with me so that’s a step. Speaking of remembering, I remembered my computer every day for work this week. I’ve never not remembered my computer, but good for me for keeping that trend alive this week! Well done, me!

I also recently realized that somewhere along the way, I must have learned to keep my mouth shut and not always say what is on my mind. I’d elaborate on that but then I would have just failed at one of the things that I just said I was good at. All I’ll say is that some people are lucky I just got good at shutting up and that for the time being, the hypothetical conversations in my head seem to be enough.

Let’s see…I had to have been awesome a couple of more times recently.

Oh! I remembered to RSVP to a party that my kid was invited to before the parent hosting the party had to ask my for said RSVP. Here’s to hoping I remember to buy a present and to take my kid to the party! I’m holding out hope.

I also remembered Valentine’s Day early enough to beat the last minute crowds in the Valentine’s aisle and I helped the little guy write out his Valentine cards 3 whole days before his class party, so that was a total “I have my act together!” mom move! And although my Valentine’s gift to my boys literally went down the toilet at 2:00 this morning, and since this is about the things I did well recently, I’m going to give myself a pat on the back for noticing the dead fish before my kids did. And I am giving myself an additional little pat on the back for also buying chocolates (so thankful for gifts that aren’t dead) and being quick enough on my feet to tell the boys that their present was not just a fishbowl full of fishless water but instead a family trip to the pet store to pick out their very own fish!

It might be a little more behind on life than I like to be and I probably won’t stop beating myself up over it until I have one seriously productive day, but until then…I’ll just be happy with the fact that these 2 think I’m doing alright.

And no, they are not staring intently at an empty fish bowl there. We did wake up and go to the pet store and as far as they are concerned, this is the 1st fish we have ever had.

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