My friend, my enemy, my phone

My relationship with my phone is a serious one.

It is my sidekick, my confidant and my camera.
It is my calendar, my alarm clock, my actual clock, my grocery list, my calorie counter and my keeper of to dos and brilliant ideas.
It is basically the string around my finger.

It is my personal stylist, my interior decorator, my meteorologist, my gossipy friend and my news anchor.
It is pretty much the single reason I am able to still communicate with anyone over the age of 5.
It is the one thing that is with me more than all of the other people and things in my life and it is like my lifeline…I would probably die without it.


Even when my phone is not in use or even next to me I feel better just knowing that it is there keeping track of everything I need.
Even when we are apart my phone is there just filling up with Pins and articles and pictures of happy people and happy times just waiting for me to come back so it can offer me up easy access to all of the news and ideas and advice I could ever want.

I have captured more hilarious and adorable and one day embarrassing moments of my kids’ lives than I would have if I relied solely on my camera and every milestone that they have reached is tucked away in one of my favorite and super basic note taking apps.

But it’s not all rainbows and kittens and baby giggles between me and my phone.
My phone is my best friend and my worst nightmare all rolled into one tiny little rectangle of awesome.

The problem with all of the info that I get from my phone is all of the info I get from my phone.

Because of my phone and all of it’s colorful little apps of wonder, my already “I feel like this place could use a little something” mind is completely shot by the end of one tiny Pinterest session.
Suddenly my meticulous attention to detail and organization is sub par and my furniture definitely needs to be refinished.
Because of my phone and it’s infinite wisdom I am well aware of all of the milestones my kids have reached on time and every single one they haven’t.

Thanks to my phone I have gained some knowledge and lost some memory.
Who needs to remember things when you have a phone?!
It tells me when to tell people “Happy Birthday,” when I am supposed to be somewhere and what I need from the store.
I forgot how to remember, thanks to my phone.

Thanks to my phone I am always one article away from being the best parent in the world or causing irreparable damage to my children because I tell them “no.”
I’m one elf move shy of the best elf not on a shelf and I’m a fireplace shy of the best mantle.

If it weren’t for my phone my headache would just be a headache that I probably wouldn’t have if I wouldn’t have been staring at my phone in the first place instead of a list of 76 other things that I could possibly be diagnosed with, 54 of which will clearly have me battling for my life within the hour.

What’s that, you say?
I should stop scouring the internet on my phone after my kids go to bed and consider doing something productive?
I should not compare my dinners to the dinners of my friends who are so much better at dinner than me?
Are you saying I shouldn’t put so much stock in the parenting articles I read or feel bad that I don’t even know if my kids know that Disney World exists when I see all of the amazingly adorable and fun looking pictures of my friends kids there or that I shouldn’t want those amazing looking appliances that I just saw in the background of that video?

You are probably right, but what fun would that be?

The thing about my phone is that it reminds me how opinionated I am…it just does it on an hourly basis.
I mean I don’t typically jump in on the Facebook debates on parenting rights and wrongs mostly because I don’t think how I raise my kids is any of anyone’s business but that is not to say that I don’t like to read them and get all fired up about it from time to time.

I like to read heartwarming stories that restore my faith in humans.
I like to see the pictures of my friends kids being adorable, to have Pinterest do my brainstorming for me, to read articles that make me think a little differently and consider other viewpoints and without my phone I wouldn’t have those either.
Thanks to all of the info I have at my fingertips with this phone, I feel more in tune with the family members who live far away and I get to reconnect with people who I haven’t seen in years.

So while it stings sometimes when I read the articles about the 9 things you should never say to your child and realize by the end of it that I said all 9 of them today and I cringe when I realize that people planned and did fun things with their kids for St. Patrick’s day while my kid walked around happily all day calling leprechauns “Patricks,” I get a whole lot more good from my phone than I do bad.

Plus, I’m fairly certain that mom guilt has been around longer than these instant gratification phones anyway so I’d be dealing with the mom guilt with or without my phone.
At least this way the guilt has illustrations.

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