I have good news and I have bad, which one do you want first?
I’ll give you the bad news, well, bad news to me. Many of you may not agree as some of you let me know in the comments in the “Why I Secretly Hope I lose My Job,” post last month. My plan to spend the Summer in my jammies, sipping coffee and writing my novels won’t be happening anytime soon. This is what the director of the department sent in an email this afternoon:
“Looks like the budget issues should stabilize within the next two to three weeks, and then should quiet down. I do not forsee any problems for you.”
When I read this in my email, all the blood drained from my face and my stomach felt tight. I felt like I had been gut-punched because I had everything worked out. I was going to take the Summer off and chill for a bit. Live off my 403b and start the second book in my “Hesper Rowe” series.
Ever since I wrote that post, I’ve been secretly hoping “today is gonna be the day.” I’m gonna get that pink slip or that two-week notice to pack my shit and get ta steppin but NADA! And today, it was confirmed, I ain’t going nowhere.
Me, personally, I think upper management does this to keep us on our toes. Throw a little “threat” in the mix to see how bad we want our jobs but little do they know, it didn’t effect me not in the slightest, I was hoping for it, praying for it and they let me down in an unconventional way. You get it. But you know what I’ve noticed? For the last nine years that I’ve been working here, they do this at this time every year because it’s the end of the fiscal year. The only thing different this year was the director of the department paid me a visit, came to my office to tell me this in person, that’s why I took it so seriously because he’s never done that before. The power of theatrics.
Now, for the good news. I have choices. No one is making me stay at my job, I can leave whenever I want, the choice is mine. I can choose to write my novels the way I’ve been doing it, stealing time here and there and on the weekends, not the idea way I like to write OR my “dream job” way, in my jammies, sipping coffee in my ocean view condo in San Francisco banging away on my laptop. The thing I must ask myself is this “am I ready to take that leap of faith?”
I’ve finished my first novel. YAY! I have to give it a final read through, check for grammar and flow, tie up any loose ends and will be ready to send it out. I have a few publishers I’m querying. One thing I know for certain, “Hesper Rowe” is going to be a bestseller.
I”ll keep you posted!
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