Four Reasons Why Your Mate Does Not Acknowledge Your Efforts

Somewhere there is a person who does not feel appreciated for his or her efforts.

Here is a newsflash for everybody out there: It is okay to acknowledge when someone does something good. It is even better if you acknowledge something that person does to enhance their attraction.

I have heard countless times this statement: “he did not even notice that I cut my hair.”

It has happened to everybody. Hell, I have been guilty of this too. We forget to give the attention to the objects of our desire often, especially when our desires have begun to fade, or become distracted.

The biggest reasons for fading desires or distractions are:

1. Finances:

Money is not only the root of evil, but it is also the root to many fading hearts. It is damn difficult to think about a clean house, new dresses, new shoes, hairdos, etc., if the money does not add up.

A woman could tell the object of her affections, “hey babe, I got my hair done, do you like it?” Her mate will think the following: “your hair looks nice but where the hell did the magic money come from?”

It is a cruel world sometimes and frankly, nobody gives a damn about a new hairdo if the electricity is about to be shut off.

2. Kids:

Kids can work a person’s damn nerves. Why are you showing me this commercial that you find interesting while I am helping the kids do their homework? Get your ass up and give me a hand with these kids. While you are at it, do not kiss me right now. I am busy going over math with Roger and you are doing nothing.

Even if you are trying to be accommodating to your mate, the kids are not going away.  

3. Somebody else has his or her attention:

This is hard to accept but most relationships are not built to last long. Some of you are doomed right now. At some point, you were the apple of their eye and vice-versa, but things change.

Somebody else has made you/them smile and the person that used to do it for you/them just does not do it for you/them anymore.

It is hard to recognize the eyeliner that you have on if the apple of your eye is checking out the eyeliner of someone else. It is the same if a man cooks a mean dinner, what would make the object of his affection acknowledge it when they are dreaming of having dinner with someone else.

Your meal may be tasty but I would rather have his food instead.

4. Lackluster sex-life

Nothing leads to faster fading desires or the lack of personal acknowledgement than a “blah” sex-life with your mate.

In the beginning, you pulled out all of the hijinks and tricks of the trade in order to lure that person in. You offered the “illusion” of what sex would be like as long as they stick around.

I call it an “illusion” because once a person takes the bait, the goodies get gone fast. You may still be having sex but it is not the same. Women may not experience the orgasmic moment that I call origami.

Origami is the art of folding paper into decorative forms but in this case, I define origami as the art of folding stomach muscles and the constant forms that arms and legs make while having sex. When the sex is good, the reaction is natural, but it cannot be forced.

You start telling yourself that this does not feel the same when it is forced.

Men do not get the same “special attention” after the bait is taken. Without digging deeper into explicit territory, I will just say that all of you adults know what I am talking about, do not get coy.

When the sex goes south, the attention span drifts. You did not do that thing you usually do last night and I am upset about it so no, I did not realize that you organized to cabinets.    


Those are the primary reasons why we fail to acknowledge one another from time to time. It is nothing personal. After all, we are human beings and we are flawed creatures.

In order to reverse the trend, take a moment in your day to recognize the good deeds of the objects of your affections. This may only take but a few minutes of your time. It can be done simply by just asking them “how was their day?” Then turn around and ask them “how do you like my new makeup?” “I purchased these jeans today after I paid the internet bill, what do you think?”

Those types of questions will bring attention to both of you and nobody will be left out. You will receive your acknowledgement by taking charge in a civil manner.

This also works with the kids but in reverse.

“How was your day?” “After the kids got home, we worked on their homework together and now I will take a break to spend some time with you, what are you watching by the way?”

This works because you offer them your attention while placing the attention on what you have done yourself.

If you fall in the other two categories, the problems are usually unfixable with the exception of these two words: Get out!         

S*** happens!

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