The First 100 Days: 10 Ways Raff Trumps Trump

win-flagYes, we are approaching that milestone. While Barb and I join with the rest of the country in our countdown of President Trump’s first three months in office, we are almost at that 100-day point in our own transition to new down-sizers. Has the “honeymoon” period been a success? Let’s check in with how our initiatives have been doing.

  1. Boosting the Local Economy: Grocery stores, big box retailers, restaurants, and furniture stores are all feeling the Raff impact in the neighborhood. No trickle down economics here, this is all cash on the barrel. Or should I say plastic in the chip reader. Got to keep earning my credit card points.
  2. Improving the Job Market: We are keeping lots of local tradesmen busy with adjustments, fixes, and final touches. And sources report that Comcast has added an extra shift of technicians just to deal with the daily problems of our Xfinity TV connections.
  3. Better Homeland Security: The number of false alarms, sensor failures, and forgotten codes has taken a tumble as a little Wi-Fi boost has solved our problem of spotty coverage in the house. OK, I admit the forgotten codes weren’t a Wi-Fi failure, they were a personal brain failure.
  4. Reboot Health Care: As reported previously, health care (mine)  has been a major issue of our last month. I am pleased to report much progress has been made as my difficulties have been repealed and replaced.
  5. Immigration Reform: Based on the number of non-native, non-criminal, tradespeople and landscapers who have worked on the house before and after our move-in, I declare it a sanctuary zone. I plan on meeting with Rahm Emanuel soon to discuss the ramifications.
  6. Voting Rights: After almost 3 months of procrastination, Barb and I spent a long morning at the Secretary of State’s office having our driver’s licenses updated to our new addresses. Much to Barb’s consternation, my new license continues to list my high school weight. It is a fiction I enjoy perpetuating. As solace for sitting on hard plastic chairs looking at pictures of Jesse White for 2 or 3 hours, we were also registered to vote at our new address. Got that done with 4 years minus 100 days to spare.
  7. LGBTQ Recognition: No one has called me a homophobe since we moved in. And we are well into the third season of “Transparent.” We will finish it when the cable comes back.
  8. Environmental Impact: It is our swan song.
  9. Tax returns: Done and filed. Well, at least the extension request is.
  10. Infrastructure Improvements: We just built a ?!#% house!  I think I get a pass on this for the next few years.

I’ll match our record up to any administration. With successes like this, maybe we should plan for our next move to be to the White House. And we promise to release those tax returns too!


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