Ivanka has Designs on Barb

ivanka-barbWith my acceptance of the Scientist in Chief position in the incoming administration, Barb and I  faced the possibility of a long-distance relationship for the first time in our 38+ years of marriage. Facing the unfaceable, we decided we had to find a way to put Barb to work in the nation’s capital too. And in doing so, we hoped to make a life long dream come true!

All of you are familiar with the incredible job Barb has done as the supreme visionist and manager for our almost complete new suburban home. But you may not know that for Barb, this has only been practice. Her desire for years has been to take on the White House. It is old, it is big, it is important, and it needs a makeover. What better project to refresh the batteries — and get us both to Washington at the same time! So we pulled in  favors with a congressional aide here, a senatorial counsel there, a tweet or two to Mr. Trump himself. Our diligence paid off as we managed to arrange a very special job interview for Barb.

Last week, in a secret meeting in our friend’s apartment in Trump Tower downtown, Barb met with our First Lady to Be, the glamorous Ivanka Trump. I am pleased to say the meeting went swimmingly. The two ladies immediately bonded in a discussion of fabrics and window coverings. Ivanka’s face gleamed as they shared their admiration of marble. When Barb mentioned that our architect Jefferson had once worked on Hugh Hefner’s Chicago Playboy Mansion, Ivanka let it slip that President Trump had expressed  a desire for a hidden Man Cave below the Oval Office, and maybe they could borrow some of the Playboy plans?

The designing ladies sealed their admiration for each other with their mutual distaste of green, the newly declared Color of the Year. “Greeen may be OK as an accent color here and there, but if you paint a room in it, it makes my skin look pallid,” Trump was heard to say. “I know we can do lots of things with different shades of white, the Color of the Year in 2016. And what year has ever been better than 2016?”

So while it is not yet official, I think we (or Vladimir Putin) can confidently leak  that Barb will be accompanying me to Washington as Ivanka’s White House Decorator and personal confidante. Look out Washington, the Raffs are on the loose. It’s going to be a fun four years!

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