This Morning's Drive-Hell Ride at 85

My hands are gripping the steering wheel as if it is the only thing keeping my anchored to the ground. My knuckles are white. I can feel my eye balls bulge; my heart is palpitating in fear. My morning experiment has turned into a joy ride from hell. I have described my drive down the... Read more »

Assault Weapons Jar My Ride

“Lady Bird wanted the highways clear of billboards and junkyards, and filled with green landscaping and wildflowers.” As I accelerate through my twice-daily commute along Interstate 294, I get a sense that Mrs. LBJ wasn’t particularly successful in her drive to beautify America. The billboards she fought against are the mile markers of my journey.... Read more »

Six Vaccinations to try your Patience

I’m not an ant-vaxxerI agree with all my mightThat getting stuck, like a sitting duck,Is the way to do things right. But in the last six months it seemsMy arms are getting sieve-ySo many holes, that bless my soulMy favorite drug’s Aleve-y. It started with the shingles shotsA pair I’d heard were scaryIt would burn... Read more »
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It Takes More Than My Microscope For Me To Give You A Diagnosis Of Prostate Cancer

Microscopic appearance of prostate cancer (left) with special stain (right.) When I talk to folks, or blog to you all about making diagnosis, what I usually chat about is the time spent looking down the twin ocular barrels of my Olympus BX43 binocular microscope. After all, that is when my eyes and brain are most... Read more »

Searching and Dreaming for Mini-Snickers Ice Cream Bars

Don Quixote with an impossible quest. Ponce De Leon exploring for the Fountain of Youth. Humphrey Bogart seeking gold in the Sierra Madre. Great searches all, but none can compare to my hunt for the Mini-Snickers Ice Cream Bar. As a candy craving youth, I was never a tremendous fan of the Snickers Bar. While... Read more »

COVID-19. A year in the life.

The Corona Virus–one year in. One year. One long, never-ending, never-repeatable year. One year ago I told the story of our shopping trip to Woodman’s, as a maskless, non-socially-distanced, throng filled the aisles and their shopping carts with paper towels and toilet paper and anything else they thought would help them in a long siege.... Read more »
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Seinfeld: The Vaccine

Setting: Jerry’s ApartmentJerry: Did you get it?George: I got it.Jerry: Where did you get it?George: I got it in my arm, where do you think I got it!Jerry: No–I mean where did you go to get it?George: I went to the Clinic.Jerry: Oh, the Clinic.George: What’s wrong with going to the Clinic.Jerry: Oh nothing, you... Read more »

What Keeps Me Up at Night? Can I Just Get it Through the Door.

Did you know me in the summer and fall of 2005? I was on my way out of Holy Family Medical Center and creating the UroPartners Lab. We were leasing an office suite in a commercial building with the goal of transforming it into a laboratory that would pass muster with the Illinois Department of Public... Read more »

For School Boards, It's What They Do, Not What They Say That Counts

“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes,” President Ronald Reagan, 1984. “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. Grab them by the p—y. You can do anything.” Donald Trump, 2005 “It’s really unfortunate that they... Read more »
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An Ode to Suspenders

When first I walked the hospital floor A young whipper-snapper always ready for more I dressed to kill in my 3-piece suit A really sharp dude, no way to dispute. Suit coat, cool vest, and pants with neat creases, I really shone in all those pieces Tailored for me at my favorite store Mark Shale in... Read more »