But lots of $$$ to help them move to Arizona to give us back the Chicago Cardinals.
Go ahead, Chicago Bears, move to Arlington Heights.
But don’t you dare ask for money to help build your new stadium. You don’t deserve it. In my entire lifetime, you, the McCaskey/Halas family, have graced Chicago with fewer grand times than, well, the Chicago Cubs. You stank, you stink, you will stink.
Chicago and Illinois are dry holes. The taxpayers already are getting crushed by the costs of corruption, favoritism and government pensions. When it comes to a helping hand, you deserve squat. You’ve already got fans who will fill every seat in sub-zero weather and pay those greedy seat taxes no matter how much you disappoint. In exchange for their blind loyalty, you have blessed them with unremitting failure, interrupted by occasional mediocrity.
So, move out of Chicago. But don’t stop in Arlington Heights. Go to Arizona.
You remember Arizona–the home of the Arizona Cardinals. Well, more properly the Chicago Cardinals. That’s the team that George Halas drove out of town because he couldn’t tolerate the competition. As an iconic NFL founder he got away with it. Even though the Cardinals, having been in Chicago for 40 years were the legitimate home team.
So I propose a trade, straight up. Bring the 3-0 Cardinals back to Chicago and ship the 1-2 Bears south. Maybe the Cardinals won’t bring a Super Bowl championship with them, but I don’t care. They won’t bring 538 quarterback prospects with them in a fruitless search for a winner.
Will the Bears demand government subsidies to move to Arlington Heights, as I premise in this post? The Bears haven’t said so, but my money says it’s likely. Greedy incompetence is in their DNA.