Lets Breathe Bears Fans

Mitchell Trubisky

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Alright Chicago Bears fans, breathe in and breathe out. Let’s do it five more times. Now proceed to your bathroom, find the mouthwash, and take a swig to remove the dirty taste in your mouth. It was bad, no it was horrible, no it was horseshit. It was not good at all. Let me be more specific, the offense and coaching were utterly horrendous. The defense on the other hand was amazing except for the one drive where Aaron Rodgers relied on the horseshoe that is magically inserted between his butt cheeks. Unfortunately, for us fans we have been witness to that magical horseshoe for years. I think it was passed down from Brett Favre who I imagine had to stop wearing it once he became a spokesperson for Wrangler jeans.

While the defense exceeded our expectations, the offense and Coach Nagy’s play calling was atrocious. To his credit, maybe he thought he was calling plays during a Kansas Chiefs playoff game?? One of the most head shaking moments had to be when the Bears were 1st and 40. I’ve been watching football since I was a little boy, and the only time I witnessed a 1st and 40 was while playing Madden. In that scenario, as a naive kid I thought it was funny to run backwards and see how many negative yards I could garner. Here are other things that stood out with the offense and play calling:

  • Absurd amount of penalties from a team that was really disciplined last year.
  • Going for it on 4th and 10 when you have a kicker who your trying to build confidence. Nothing screams confidence builder like we don’t trust you to kick and instead we have more confidence with a quarterback who has more jitters than a 3 year old on a sugar binge. 
  • To run it with Patterson on a 3rd and 1, instead of utilizing one of your talented running backs.
  • Where was Tarik Cohen in this offense
  • Why wasn’t David Montgomery used more often considering he seemed to be the hot hand of the game?
  • Mitch!?!?! Why throw that jump pass, fade, or whatever hell that was when you were soooo close. It was so heavily covered that even Stevie Wonder wouldn’t of thrown that football.

I hate the Packers and so much to the fact, I won’t travel to Wisconsin during the fall or eat any cheese that is imported from there. However, while the Packers offense saw similar woes, their defense was more than ready and knew how to strategically expose the flaws of the Bears. Speaking of those flaws, Packers CB Trianon WillIams lit the match for the dumpster fire when he said “We knew if we could get Mitchell Trubisky to play quarterback we could win,” Williams said after the game. Well, goddamn Williams. The last time I felt so obliterated with a comment was when a girl told me that we would make better friends. Unfortunately, the truth hurts but time will tell if this was just a fluke for Mitch or if we just re-entered the Lovie Smith era. Could of Mitch and the offense benefited from preseason reps? I will try to leave on a positive note. Last year the Bears loss to Green Bay in a week one matchup and then went on to have a miraculous season. So let’s hope that the the offense and Nagy’s play calling which was flatter than leaving a bottle of 2-liter of Coke open all day will turn things around extremely quick. Next up is Vic Fangio’s Broncos and if you thought that the Packers were able to figure out the Bears offense, you could only imagine what Coach Vic is going to do. That thought alone is what nightmares are made out of.

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