Forget Speed Cameras...Give Us Alder-Creature Feature.....

Chicago will soon be blanketed with speed cameras and many Chicagoans are complaining about ‘Big Brother’ invading their rights of privacy and how the cameras are really being put up to generate revenue and not to protect the children of Chicago.

Well, let me be honest as I have no problems with speed cameras, especially in my neighborhood due mainly to drivers traveling at dangerously high rates of speed 24/7. In fact, a stretch of Forest Preserve Drive between Oak Park and Cumberland Aves. has been dubbed the “Auto Bahnskie” by the neighborhood people.

Though, if Chicago really wanted to generate revenue and cut down on corruption, nepotism, and ‘sweet heart’ deals, the City Council would vote to have cameras following them around for a reality TV show. The show would be along the lines of the Jim Carrey movie, “The Truman Show’ and would feature a different alderman each week.

The show’s tile “Alder-Creature Feature” would be a combination of a nickname used frequently to describe Chicago’s alderman on the “The Second Cop City’ blog and one of my childhood favorite TV shows, “Creature Feature.” Who wouldn’t be tuned in to see the next ‘back door’ deal, what our alderman actually do all day and how the working class person really has no chance or say in matters in Chicago?

Former Chicago alderman Dick Simpson, now head of the University of Illinois Chicago’s political science department, says a study on corruption found Chicago is the most corrupt city in the nation with 1,531 public corruption convictions since 1976. And Simpson points to the governor’s position in Illinois and a seat on Chicago city council as two areas where the most corruption takes place.

So, with the study in mind, can you imagine some episode titles and content of the of the “Alder-Creature Feature?” Here’s a few I came up with:

Ald. Ed Burke’s (14th) shows you how to get a tan year round without spraying it on or going to a tanning booth.” And, “How to Get the Taxpayers to Pay for My Cabana Boys (Security Detail).”

“I Dunno: What Richie Daley Taught Me to Say” with Ald. Patrick O’Connor (40th).

“Inside Ald. Richard Mell’s (33rd) World of Everything Blago.”

Ald. Sandi Jackson (7th) shows you how to “Live in Washington and be a Chicago resident.”

Ald. Daniel Solis (25th) guides you in getting zoning approval while avoiding a conflict of interest for a UNO Charter School in the episode entitled, “Everything’s Legal.”

“My $115K a Year Part Time Job” with George Cardenas (12th).

Nicholas Sposato (36th) ” I Fought the (City) Hall and the Hall Won” on how city ward changes will force Sposato out of a job after he upset ‘hooked up’, incumbent John Rice.

And, some of the shows could even be on former aldermen, shows like ” My Bunkies” with Eddie Vrdolyak, ‘”I Am My Father” starring Isaac Carothers, and Dorothy Tillman’s hat shopping hints entitled “My Hats Are Not Off to You.”

The ideas for “Alder-Creature Feature” are endless as is corruption in Chicago and I believe Chicagoans would watch in record numbers. But, it would seem the only way our aldermen would do a show like this is if they got a cut of the city’s revenue from the show. Why would the alderman agree to something like that? Wouldn’t it just be easier for them to just continue on with business as usual and get their kickbacks and regular cut of the city’s revenue?

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