Despite His Selfish Comments, Bears Should Keep Devin Hester

Despite His Selfish Comments, Bears Should Keep Devin Hester

Devin Hester is the greatest kick returner in the history of the NFL. He is not a professional caliber cornerback. He is not a professional caliber wide receiver. He is a returner of punts and kickoffs and nobody has done either better. Hester, to the best of my knowledge, is the first player in sports history not content with being the greatest ever at his position.

Nope, Devin Hester wants a change of scenery. He wants to change the scenery. Many of you may not know this but I make my living writing for the professional theatre so I am quite familiar with scenery changes. Scenery is changed during the course of a play to alter the audience’s perception of time and space. It is not changed because an actor/performer is, well, no longer having fun with a particular tree or house-painted flat or stone (if this were a minimalist production of Waiting for Godot). It is not changed because an actor/performer no longer feels comfortable with the present scenery.

Devin Hester does not want a change of the scenery. Hester wants to leave a scene-stealing role in a classical play at an elite Chicago theatre (let’s say Polonious in a well-received Hamlet at the Goodman) for a more prominent role in a lesser production elsewhere (say Mercutio in the Kansas City Rep production of Romeo & Juliet). He is not comfortable blaming his struggles in 2012 on himself – even though his former coordinator Dave Toub was quite comfortable with that scenario. Hester is blaming, what else, the city of Chicago.

And might I add one more point. And I say this having had the pleasure of interviewing Devin Hester on my podcast and genuinely enjoying that interaction. How dare you, Devin? How about some gratitude to the Chicago Bears organization for mistakenly attempting to appease you these last few years and find a successful role outside of special teams? How about some loyalty to a fan base that has cheered your every return and forgiven your every return mistake for the duration of your career? I know professional athletes are some of the most selfish individuals on the planet but could Hester truly be so willing to leave those thousands of #23 jerseys on the Lake Front behind for a chance to catch a few passes in 2013 from Mark Sanchez or Brandon Weeden on gimmick plays?

Regardless of Hester’s blind selfishness, the Chicago Bears organization should not even consider letting him leave town.

GM Phil Emery and head coach Marc Trestman (as well as new special teams coordinator Joe D) should be on the phone with Hester before the start of the free agency period. The Skunk may no longer be returning kicks for touchdowns at the alarming rate he did a few years ago but there are still only a handful of return men in the sport that belong in his conversation. He still possesses the ability to score on every return. He still frightens opposing coaches.

Hester does not need to be abandoned by the Chicago Bears right now. He needs to be recommitted to. And while I’m not pleased with his comments I have too much respect for his past achievements to close the door on a legend. If I’m on the Chicago Bears…that success is not leaving town.


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  • First to say, my favorite scene stealing performance was Bill Murray playing Polonious in a "modern adaptation" of Hamlet maybe 15 years ago. I remember nothing else that I liked about that movie, I don't even remember who played Laertes, but I remember Bill Murray.

    Think about it Devin. You could be remembered as Bill Murray...

  • Kansas City Repertory theatre in a Production of A Christmas Carol. Devin could be Tiny Tim.

    Lindsay Lohan could be The Ghost of Christmas Past. Bill Murray reprises his film role as Scrooge.

    I'd go.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    me too.....but where's Gonzo & Rizzo? and who do they play?

  • In reply to lobotobear:

    We WOULD have to go to Kansas City.

    However, there is free Google Wi-Fi everywhere, so we could live stream the show.

    So much conflict.

  • Devin here is a simple question ...

    Are you the Master of "One" or the "Jack" of all trades.

    One goes down in history as a "Master" very seldom are they scripted known as a "Jack"ass.

  • Hester is former Miami Hurricane. He is VIP on the Swole without SO much mouth. His ass has been wiped with gold flake paper since he was 16, he knows no other existence than being a big shot. The spectre of has-been has arrived, and he's not going to go quietly into that good night.

    See what he does in camp, run some full contact return drills, make him catch a LOT of punts. Make him return kickoffs. If he comes in ready to hit the seams and fly, risking the killshot - pay his inflated figure and take the cap hit.

    If he's anything less - cut his ass.

  • Also, on the actual subject of keeping Hester...

    Hester is exactly the type of player that gets cut when a new coach comes to town. He hasn't got a great attitude (really he has a bad attitude, but simply not having a good attitude is enough). He isn't a superstar (even the return game has been meh lately). He isn't playing for the vet minimum. He isn't cap friendly. He's taking up a spot that we would like to put some young talent into.

    If he leaves, many will be upset. If his replacement does well, he'll be forgotten by midseason.

    Part of me wants to keep him as our #4 or 5 receiver and emergency cornerback. A capable backup who can produce in certain situations and take 5-10 snaps with 2 or so targets a game. I think that role would allow him to refocus on the return game. It would also allow us to commit an extra roster spot to a linebacker or O-lineman since Hester could play DB in a pinch.

    But part of me understands that with a small roster and a tight salary cap, guys like Hester usually get cut. Let him go to the Rams, the Niners or the Redskins, teams that have cut their own underachievers and want to try a new experiment at wide receiver.

    For our part, we'll have a spot to give to the next Johnny Knox - a middle round WR that can stretch the field and contribute as a returner. We'll have a couple of million in cap space to pick up a TE or maybe to keep Lance Louis. We'll allow Emery to do what he's supposed to be best at: draft young talent.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I wouldn't want him as a DB in a pinch. Not no way, not no how. The word "smurf" has been thrown around a lot here when discussing the Bears receivers pre-Marshall/Alshon, and Devin was a big part of that. Aside from his less-than-ideal stature to be covering a WR, let's not forget that he's terrible on D. Seriously. He's a worse DB than he is WR, and that's saying something.

    Plus, do you really think he'd lower his pads to try and take down the Marshawn Lynch's of the league? Based on last season, he's terrified of contact now. I couldn't see him risking anything to take down a ball carrier.

  • In reply to evantonio:

    That's right. Remember when all our receivers were blue with little white hats?

  • who can forget it?

  • Hester Story:

    When the Seahawks came to town their first year with Carroll, he goes out on the field and starts jawing with Pete.

    Topic: That Pete was a fool for not recruiting him for USC. This is after Hester has set the record.

    So we're talking about a kid who bears a freaking grudge.

  • fb_avatar

    It seems Devin may be a bit immature. What he needs to do is perfect his craft as a return man. Get in great shape, study what worked, what didn't how teams neutralize him and be an even better return man.

    The end. He'll add 5-10 returns to his record in the next few years if he does that.

  • In reply to Big Mike:

    I think you've got it wrong here Mike. What used to work isn't there anymore. What worked, was his ability to see cracks in the coverage developing before they were there, coupled with his ability to change direction seemingly without slowing down. How many times did we see him making people miss that actually had a pretty good angle on him? He just doesn't have that anymore. Devin was very special but he's pretty ordinary right now.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    he wasn't even ordinary... he was a liability 95% of the time.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    but he did give jeff one guaranteed bullet for each game preview:

    "TEAM X has looked a little weak on coverage the last couple of weeks. Toub has something up his sleeve and Hester brings one back."

  • In reply to Big Mike:

    I'd put a lot of money on that NOT happening Mike.

  • In reply to Big Mike:

    He can do it somewhere else though. You don't take the piss for TWO YEARS and then get your job back. You get a boot in the ass and you're crossed off the christmas card list. The fucker.

  • I'll say this one last time...

    Hester is done with the bears. Done. Nothing we can do to change his state of mind now. He might be able to go somewhere else and do well with a complete fresh start and a mental reboot... but I doubt it, and certainly not with us.

    He's more than done in chi... a turrible and for the most part a liability at WR except for the occasional acrobatic long-ball catch, turrible and abjectly terrified to get hit returning anything at all, and he should NEVER play DB, ever NB... NEVER ever ever.

    Cut his incredibly dumb, whinny, ungrateful, toast ass right now and get some 4th or 5th rd burner with zero hesitation in the return game. If Boldin is indeed cut, get him for vet minimum right now. Problems solved. You're welcome Phil.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    What's the max you would pay for your man crush MB? Just out of curiosity. I don't think he'll take vet min.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Vet minimum? In your dreams

  • Hester is done unless he has a come to Jesus with Emery, Trestman and Cutler.

    Cutler and the coaching staff don't trust him right now, certainly don't respect his admission that he wasn't "all in" over the last 2 years when we had real shots at the post season and there are just too many guys that will throw themselves in front of a train for a chance at NFL glory.

    The Bears need guys like Bennett, Marshall, Cutler, Briggs, Tillman, Jennings, Pep..... guys that go out and throw their bodies into the fight no matter what. Bennett's spleen almost exploded going over the middle, Marshall has hip surgery every year and wants to be the most dominant wide receiver ever to play football, Cutler has no fear, Briggs is like an old tank that just won't be stopped no matter how many injuries he has, etc.

    Hester is so goddamn talented but I am absolutely shocked at his admission that mentally he's checked out, while still cashing checks. Look at Weems and compare him to Hester. Weems runs around like a fucking meth addict looking to spear someone in the face. Hester looks to shy away from everything.

    The main issue is between Cutler and Hester though at hesters own admission in a recent interview and if that doesn't get ironed out then Devin won't be a Bear.

    When Jay respects a player on the team no matter their talent level he will mention that "they care" and "they take this seriously". Hester has shown that both of those comments don't currently apply to him. I want Weems and Anderson to get their shots now.

  • Weems is like a violent Dwarf

  • Perhaps I'm one of those guys that just dreams of having the old Devin back. Maybe that "come to Jesus" could make it happen, but I'm having my doubts.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I loved "old Devin". Sadly, i'm thinking he is gone and another end of an era here in Chicago. Next man up.

  • That would be your son, Dad.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I doubt it too. I can see him going somewhere else and succeeding - but only because he mentally thinks he can do it all again.

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    I'm not sure he can. I think his problem is mental more than physical. I think he saw the Knox injury and said it's not worth it. Why kill myself? He already has the record. He just wants to pick up a paycheck and mail it in at WR and special teams. I think he gets cut and plays out the string somewhere else but never comes close to his old glory days.


    Irish, where were you on the night of..........?

  • Couple cool things non-fb (kinda) related.

    Josh freeman as Michael Jackson:

    For you hockey fans:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Best 3.5 minutes of hockey ever, after putting on the foil.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    "Old time hockey, Coach...".

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    tobi, did you grow up in Lake Forest? Knollwood Club? A couple friends of mine used to work there.

  • I looked up that Forbes poll, and as I suspect - the question is NOT who is the most hated (or even disliked):

    The latest public surveys from Nielsen/E-Poll show Te’o and Armstrong in a virtual dead heat for the dubious title of America’s most disliked athlete (though we give the nod to Armstrong based on higher name recognition, which gives his score a bit more heft). Each appeals to just 15% of the public, according to Nielsen’s polling, which it conducts on a rolling basis with the help of E-Poll, an Encino, Calif.-based market research firm. Candidates were limited to active athletes with a minimum of 10% awareness

    See what they are doing? "Each APPEALS to less than 15%...". So lack of appeal = dislike? The less appeal, the stonger the dislike?

    I am FED UP with the media. But I am also fed up with the citizens of our country who never think to challenge results - just take them as gospel. I try hard in my statistics class to teach students to CHALLENGE results before they accept them. Does the answer make sense? Why would Cutler, Romo, and even T'eo be actually HATED? Or even disliked? I CAN certainly see where they would fall very low on likeability - but that's a VERY different thing.

    I know I'm getting old - and I'm going to sound like my dad here - but I worry that the country is becomming a nation of mentally comotose people. The Forbes survey is innocent enough - but this is true of serious issues as well.

    OK - time for my nap.

  • In reply to BillW:

    bill, honestly... who cares.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I don't care what is said about Cutler. I justt hate sloppy lazy dumb ass reporting - and it even comes from a formerly respected source like Forbes.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Forbes has a lot of dumb stories on their web page. I think some of them are freelance writers. Bill, if you teach statistics, you must have a field day reading government statistics and news stories based on such stats. I'm with you regarding the media and the journalism profession. Journalists and media outlets all seem to be agenda driven and making the news instead of actually reporting and investigating stories. .

  • In reply to BillW:

    at the risk of sounding like a meathead bill (*ahem* there NB)... fuck em.

  • In reply to BillW:

    There is nothing wrong with the Forbes article, BillW. It seems fair in its characterization of the results of the Nielsen/E-Poll survey.

    Respondents to the survey were asked, among other things, to rate athletes in terms of appeal:

    a) Like A Lot
    b) Like
    c) Like Somewhat
    d) Dislike Somewhat
    e) Dislike
    f) Dislike A Lot

    Lance Armstrong was actively "Disliked" (d,e,f) by 61% of respondents. Teo was disliked by 47%.

    The exact breakdown of Jay Cutler's score isn't available (afaik). But overall, he was ranked dead last in the NFL, so it's probably safe to assume he was most "Disliked" (d,e,f).

    I'm not defending journalists or pollsters in general, or the accuracy of the Nielsen/E-Poll survey in particular. It's already clear to me that Cutler is widely disliked. Myself, I would have checked option a).

  • Oh - by the way on the subject of Hester...
    The sooner he gets out of town the better. Think Emery wants him around? No way. He got rid of Lovie when the safe thing to do was keep him and hire a good OC. But he saw Lovie was NOT 100% committed to making the Bears a champion - he was only 100% committed to making the Defense championship caliber.

    Hester is stupid - period. And he does not have enough talent left to be worth the league minimum. Sure - he'll go to another team with a chip and have a great season or two as a returner - but if that's what it takes for him to be motivated - good riddence.

    (Hmmm. maybe I forgot my medication today?)

  • In reply to BillW:

    exactly bill

  • With the Bears new head coach and new assistant coaches it's starting to look like Hester is already gone.

    Sure, Trestman and Joe could call Hester up and try to change his mind but why? If Hester doesn't want to be here and if he wants to keep running his mouth then let him go.

    We all saw Urlacher shut up about the Lovie situation and get in line with Emery. I think Hester has already signed his walking papers..

  • don't let the door hit your ass on the way out homie.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I will miss his superfly 74 Impala

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I will miss his insightful interviews.

  • On Anquan Boldin...

    Per Rotoworld, Boldin signed a 4 year, $28 million contract in 2010. Not sure what the cap hit is for him this year based on the bonus, but his salary is $6M.

    Boldin is 32, and he was a seriously dangerous receiver in the Superbowl. A lot of big deep passes were the result of Boldin drawing the safety out of position. He probably has at least 2-3 years left in him.

    The interest on this blog alone makes me think he will not be signed for the veteran minimum as some meatheads (*cough MB *cough) suggest. He will be in demand, although probably not for huge money.

    I'm thinking the smart move for both sides is to keep him and renegotiate this year. If he insists on the $6M, he will likely get cut. He can get at least $6M in guarantees in Baltimore, so spreading the cash over a 3 year deal is a smart move. 4 years, $15M, half guaranteed. Reduce your cap hit this year by $3M or so.

    Boldin will try to push it closer to $20M, which may be okay on a five year deal. I think if he refuses to negotiate and gets cut he'll be dissapointed by the market - its likely that Bowe and Welker will be the prime targets in FA.

    Either way, Boldin isn't coming to Chicago. If you look at the numbers, we can't pay him what the market would bring. He'd be better off in Baltimore, unless there's bad blood (in which case he'd be better off in a place like San Fran).

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    meathead... I am hurt. Aren't we supposed to stick together? Sheesh.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    NB can you take a look at my financial planning? My wife is a huge cap hit this coming season. Can we restructure her deal to something more reasonable given the dropoff in talent?

  • In reply to Johnnywad:


  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Your wife, I'm afraid, is a lot like Mark Sanchez.

    You decided to sign her to a long term deal because she'd been decent for you at one point and you thought she had upside, but really you were forced into it to appease her constant concerns that you were looking to replace her. You had hoped she would grow to be a leader for your team, but she can't seem to get any respect and that actually makes you look bad for sticking with her. She looked good in the beginning, good enough to be on the cover of GQ magazine, but those days were over even before you signed on for the long term.

    So now you're stuck. You could flirt with someone else, maybe someone a certain element is pushing you really hard to partner with, but who hasn't done anything since her college glory days. But if you do that, you'll realize you were better off beforehand, and you'll be left without the new hotshot or your original choice.

    You could try to cut her. But the perceived financial saving will actually be negligible, especially in the first year or two. And that's before putting the cash in to get a replacement.

    So you'll bite the bullet. You will stand by her at least for another year or two. This is especially challenging because many, not understanding your decision, will call you foolish. You'll waste a lot of money, and probably miss some good opportunities along the way.

    But the worst part of all... she really will start looking more and more like Mark Sanchez as time goes by.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Classic. Well posted sir.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    That's about as clever a post as I've read here. And the DBB bar is high...

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    NBIT, that was one of the best posts this year.
    Well done, sir, well done.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    I usually don't laugh out loud to people's comments, but that got me to!

  • In reply to Scharfinator:

    Right on Scharf. We all need a laugh on occasion.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I don't think the post about Jones and Boldin was meant seriously.

    I think you were T'eoed.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I believe Boldin's stance on money is why he went from AZ to Baltimore in the first place. I don't see him playing at a what he perceives as a discount.

  • It would be sad to have Hester leave the Bears this way. It's one thing if he got injured to the point where he just couldn't play...but this is not the case. The fact is he's gone mentally over the edge. Now he's a "head case" and you cannot reason, plead or be objective with someone like that. One of two things have to happen...he has to get his head together and play old school football like the Hester or old OR he has to retire...because to other teams he's a one year deal at best to see how well he can do. That's it... If he's hit shy like we all believe then he's over.

    He was and is the best returner EVER...but his attitude has screwed that over big time.

    Sure Jeff, I'd like to see Hester in a Bears uniform next season...but we'll get the same shit we got last season and that's just not worth the price.

  • In reply to Bears-4-Ever:

    Myabe if the Trestman daughters stepped in and helped him with his head problem.

  • Interesting mock draft.

    Has us taking Jonathan Cooper (a guard) and Arthur Brown (LB) in rounds 1 and 2. That would be a nice draft.

    But with the draft he sets up and who is left at #20, I have to wonder if I wouldn't prefer to trade down to the mid-20s. Let a team trade up for a QB or even for Cooper. If we still got Barrett Jones or Kevin Minter in round 1, I could live with that.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I don't like a lot of this guys selections, but if it was to play out this way I would trade back and take Barret Jones before the Packers can sniff at him.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:


  • It won't be sad at all to Hester go. Once a guy mouths off like that he falls into the ungreatful millionaire category - and gets ZERO sympathy from hard working fans (blue collar or not).

    To fail so badly AND to admit it was becasue he wasn't trying hard wnough (in effect) is inexcusable. Gone. Next. And give the 23 right away to someone who works hard.

  • In reply to BillW:

    Recycling a player like Hester's # immediately is a giant FU to that player.

    They did that with Nathan Vasher when he got rock jock. There was a rook 31 out there the next year.

    If they did that to Hester, he'd be pretty pissed.

  • In reply to BillW:


  • In reply to BillW:

    Fuckin A.

  • Ahmad Bradshaw released.

    I'd like to see Trestman pick him up. His ankles and feet have gotten pounded, but he'd be a huge inspiration to Forte, and a better replacement than Mikey Bush.

    If Trestman is looking to feature single back, 3-wide sets - as I suspect he will - I could go for Forte, Bradshaw and Allen. Dunno what Bush's contract is though or what the hit is if we cut him.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    wow, kind of love AB

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Bush is a $3.5M cap hit next year, currently unsure how much would become dead cap if we cut him. However, I really don't want two RBs with only 1.5 ankles between them.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    We'd be on the hook for $4.15M dead cap if we cut him before June 1st, and $2.05M dead cap this year with $2.1M dead cap in 2014 if we cut him after June 1st.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    No love for the Bushmaster ? He was playing hurt this year and had that line in front of him. I prefer to think of him as the guy who ran amok behind the Raiders line, taking the screen and just flattening people. Look at the multiple-threat running back combos around the league. I say we need one more dude. Allen it ain't.

  • Cap hits!

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    How does the cap calculation work exactly? For instance if, say, Kellen Davis SOMEHOW doesn't make the team, do you subtract his salary ($2,400,000) from his cap number ($3,860,000) and the difference is what counts against the cap?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Great link BTW, DYL...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Depends on where the cap number comes from. In the case of Kellen Davis, I believe the majority of the extra cap space comes from "pro-rating" his signing bonus over the course of 2 years. So the cap hit would be, as you say, basically cap number minus salary.

    But I believe other players have cap hits based on incentives and other stuff like that which can also be dropped if you cut the player. And then you have some players where a portion of the salary is a "roster bonus" or similar thing, where the cap hit remains if you cut the player after a certain date.

    A lot of this stuff is somewhat of a mystery because, if I am not mistaken, the CBA is not public record.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    As far as I'm aware, the dead cap money is any bonuses that the player is still due. If there are multiple years involved it gets more complicated, but thankfully Kellen will be in the last year of his deal, so if we cut him his cap hit will be $1.45M. In comparison to keeping him, in which case his cap hit would be the $3.85M.

    It can be quite confusing, again thank Tebus that Davis only has one year left.

    An interesting thing I found when looking up how to calculate dead cap: just look at the state of these and the Colts still made the playoffs!

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    which is what you two covered. Curse my slow speed and poor recognition of what has already been said!

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Looking at this list, I again go back to Julius Peppers. That is the biggest contract, biggest cap hit and biggest base salary for our team. He's not a bust by any stretch of the imagination, but he also isn't the biggest stats guy, the biggest sack man, the biggest threat or even the quarterback.

    We are overpaying him. Not by a ton, but by enough that we will not be able to let him play out that contract.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    We knew we would be in this position when we signed him. You could argue that it would've paid off if Lovie hadn't been such a pussy and just finished the Packers off in the regular season of 2010, but let's not dwell on that.

    He is overpaid, and yes he isn't the biggest stat guy (never has been really: 10.14 sack/yr av, 3.36fum/yr av 46.54 tack/yr av), but you have to look at the overall numbers to see his true effectiveness. I'd be willing to bet that Izzy, the Pez dispenser and even Melton would not have achieved the numbers they did this past season without him there.

    However, if we don't get rid of him this year, I can imagine that this will be the last year we have him. I highly doubt he restructures as he has done so once before, and we need the cash to pay Cutty Flacco money when he wins the SB next year..

    A man can dream.....

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Peppers is much more important to the D than his numbers show, but he's also benefitted a lot from the guys around him. He's not going to get huge money if we release him this year though (look at the draft, look at the FA market, too much competition).

    You're probably right about Peppers being a 2014 issue. But if Melton's situation gets sticky... you never know.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Case in point about Peppers..

  • Peppers still commands double teams.

    Melton is on his way there but having Peppers playing on the line helps Melton and whomever is on the opposite side.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    I'd say it's Melton who's benefitted from playing on a line that contains one Julius Peppers. Since when is Henry Melton a hall of famer anyway? I missed this meeting given all the blog blowjobs for him, but when Peppers isn't there and he's the guy who'll be doubled and tripled the rest of his career, will he be worth the big bucks then?.If Peppers isn't there this season how many sacks does Melton have? What's he worth then?

    Let's put the money into the offense, because that's where it's needed. We can find people to play defense.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    Absolutely. He's a double-team magnet. Trouble is he's being paid like he's the guy who actually blows those blocks and gets to the quarterback. He'll hardly any be quicker next year, will he? We heard all about his sore foot this year .. .from Julius Peppers. I didn't hear a thing from JJ Watt about his.

    Lac, Pep, take the cut. Time she is-a-marchin' .....

  • Past performance does not guarantee future results.

  • This clearly makes Jay a terrible QB:

    Nice video by the way.

  • In reply to Shady:

    Nothing? Really?

  • I doubt the Bears will be able to get Peppers to restructure but I would be pretty upset if they didn't get Bennett to.

  • I have a feeling Pep might negotiate. Fingers crossed.

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    I think asking Peppers to restructure is both more likely and more desirable than asking Bennett to do so.

  • Why Bennett? He's getting paid a whopping $2.25M this year and $2.35 next year. His talent was wasted last year, but so was every other receiver not named Marshall. Jay likes him. He has zero character issues (rare for a decent WR). And more important than his speed is that he actually catches the ball very well, so even if his route tree is limitted, he's a high percentage target.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:


    Earl is more worth his salary than the majority of the team.

  • Bennett? Smoke crack much?

  • No. Why should the Bears pay for a guy that hasn't produced..?

    If I am Emery, I can explain exactly why Bennett needs to restructure his contract. Not only has Bennett not produced but he has struggled to stay healthy or supplant Hester all these years.

    2.5 million for two more years and in his final year he could make over 2 million (+ $500,000-$3 million "escalating" roster bonus). This is the same guy that is barely averaging 300 yards per season. This guy can make at the least 7 million dollars in the next three years..

    Julius Peppers has produced and is still playing at a pretty decent level. Did you look at the PFF link? Peppers went unblocked only one time last season. One time and he still was able to get 12 sacks.

    Plus, I can replace Earl Bennett with a younger guy in the draft that isn't going to command 2.5 million every year that could go to a decent guard or a decent tight end. However, I can't replace Julius Peppers. Asking a player that is producing to restructure or ask a player that isn't producing to restructure?

  • Bennett is producing. Look at his numbers together with every receiver not named Marshall last year. His production didn't take a hit worse than anyone else.

    As to health, the nature of what he does for the team leads to injuries. As long as he is productive for 10+ games, he's a solid contributor. Look around the league, a lot of WRs get injured for a few games a season, its the nature of the beast.

    As to the draft. We need those picks for other positions. And drafting a WR is a very iffy possibility (see: Bears, Chicago, 2001-2012). To get someone as reliable and consistent as Bennett is not so simple. He's worth the relatively light cap hit for what he gives us.

    Peppers, on the other hand, is the highest paid player on the team, making five or six (!) times what Bennett makes, and one of the highest paid non-QBs in the league. No doubt he is a very productive player, but if its a choice between Peppers and 3 scrubs or no Peppers and 2-3 playmakers (say Izzy, Melton and someone like Dwight Freeney if he hits the market)... its not an easy decision to make.

    What I want is a complete defensive line - at least 2 dangerous DEs, a productive 3 tech, and a space eating NT. If you overpay one guy, you can't make a team. Peppers knows this... if he wants a ring, he should be open to discussion.

    If he isn't, I don't think he gets cut this year, but next year... who knows? That is the negotiating tool. You guarantee some of the big money at the end of the contract. Peppers won't get another contract like that; if we cut him, the money dissapears. But if we give him a guarantee in exchange for a pay cut, everybody wins.

    One other point to keep in mind. Mario Williams was as good as Peppers when he played for the Texans. The Texans wanted a solid unit, not just one monster, so they cut him. Williams, by himself, could not fix Buffallo. Houston, without Williams, found other guys to make plays.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    The only reason Houston found other guys to make "plays" was because Mario Williams was out for the majority of the year.

    I would rather keep the proven playmaker and let scrubs duke it out. You would rather have a bunch of decent players and see what happens.

    I'm sorry but I still don't see the value of Bennett. James Jones and Jordy Nelson make about the same amount as him. Yes, Bennett is pretty good on third downs but that's it.

    You want to pay a guy that is injury prone, averages under 400 yards per season, and only catches the ball on third downs?

    That's cool. We just agree to disagree.

  • getting a first down almost every time you catch the ball doesn't mean you just do it on 3rd down. It means you do it almost every single time you touch the ball....on any down you catch it on.

  • getting rid of one of the best possession receivers in the league that can play all the WR positions, goes over the middle, runs screens and can return punts because he makes 2 MIL a year is absolutely fucking insane logic.

  • "getting rid of one of the best possession receivers in the league"...

    When did we get Larry Fitzgerald? Seriously. On third downs? Bennett might be. Listen to yourself.. you just said a guy that barely had 400 yards the last two seasons was one of the best possession receivers in the league.

    Explain that logic to me lol

  • Your logic is to get rid of EARL BENNETT to save money on cap space and bring in a rookie WR......

    Earl, I believe, is top 5 in the league in "when you throw him the ball he fucking catches it no matter what".

    Earl has 153 catches and 93 FIRST DOWNS. He is Mr. Move the fucking chains.

    He gets paid extremely reasonable money and is the perfect number 2/3 receiver to Brandon and Alshon. Getting rid of him is ludicrous. He is only 25 yrs old and is the perfect teammate.

    Tell me why we need to save a tiny amount of cap space, take away a proven weapon and known commodity when we can cut fucking useless fucks left and right on this team to accomplish the same cap reductions.

    Sorry he got hurt dude, it happens.

  • Where do you get this idea that Earl Bennett is a proven weapon? Seriously. I know numbers don't tell the whole story but it's not like Earl Bennett is Greg Jennings..

    I know if Earl is getting first downs it doesn't mean it's just on third downs. I know that's where the majority of his first downs come from.

    That being said, he doesn't command double teams, he doesn't stretch the field, and he isn't a playmaker. Yet, Earl Bennett is going to make the same amount of money as James Jones, Jordy Nelson, and Eric Decker. Thanks but no thanks.. How many teams will pick up Earl Bennett if he was to hit the waiver wire? I'm sure you know that answer to that.

    Bottom line, if Earl Bennett is that good then why did a rookie and a punt returner start over him? Injuires can limit his time of the field but he only missed 4 games.

    Like I said, if the Bears can restructure Bennett's contract then they should do it.

  • two seasons ago we lost Bennett to that dirty fuck Roman Harper. When he came back, he had Caleb Hanie throwing him the rock. This season, Alshon took some of his targets, and of course #15 ate up almost all of what was left, plus he got injured again. Thus its to be expected that his numbers would be lower.

    As a #3 reciever its fine with him bringing in roughly 400-500 yards, 2-5 scores a year, I'll happily pay a few hundred thousand more to guarantee that he'll make the first down, not drop the ball and not pussy out unlike some WRs and TEs we had the misfortune of playing last year.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Earl Bennett

    Rookie year 717 receiving yards

    Second year 561 receiving yards

    Third year 381 receiving yards

    Fourth year 371 receiving yards

    Tell me what I am missing here..

  • Jefe, meth, really? recommit to Hester ... WTF? Why ? The prick quit on us for TWO YEARS. What does quitting actually mean? It means he played football for two years at reduced speed and definitely heard lots of footsteps. It means he didn't go in for balls where he knew he'd get creamed if he caught it. It means he did everything half-assed. It means he picked up his paycheck and flipped his middle finger to the fans every week. Fuck Devin Hester. He committed fraud in any other industry. He betrayed his team, team-mates, and us. Fuck him in the face - greatest return man of all time or no. Fuckim. He took up a substantial amount of snap-time away from Earl Bennett or whoever - some pro that's willing to take hits as part of his job. He conned us clean. Fucker.

    What does he bring us anyway? Did he at least make up for being a crappy receiver by doing his thing in the return game? Did he fuck. Visibly slower than his former-self and not because he's 30. He admitted some time ago he never worked his legs. NEVER WORKED HIS LEGS! Jesus H bananas. The lazy prick never even pushed weights in the gym! FHITF!

    We saw a better athlete in Jacoby Jones the other day. By far. Returns the ball and can actually play receiver, when asked. The moves he put on to make his receiving TD were top drawer.

    What do we want with a cancerous waster like Hester? A medium-fast, no-burst, chickenshit receiver who's 30+ and afraid of contact?

    Weems can return the ball, so can Earl .. .and any receiver will be better than Hester. It's Brandon and baby on the outside, with Bennett fighting it out with Anderson for the inside. There never was a spot for Hester anyway.

    In the face Devin ... right in the face.

  • Irish -

    With all your equivocation, we can't tell how you think about this. Could you just stop beating around the bush and tell us how you feel?

  • The Joe Anderson love reminds me of the gushing about Aromashodu a couple seasons ago.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    aromashadu follows a long line of illustrious bears receivers who leave us to help screw up the vikings WR corps. (well, long line being 2 - him and bernie b.).

    if joe anderson can give us some good games before helping sink the vikes, i think the gushing will have been worth it.

  • In reply to evantonio:


    I'll have to agree with that, Evan.

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    I want Anderson on the team at the very least because he is a fucking killer on special teams and has no fear.

  • And he's your son .....

  • In reply to SC Dave:

    Erm .. .and Brandon Rideau ... hey .. there were desperate times in the smurf era .....

  • i remember that era. all our receivers were blue with little white hats.

  • Check this out. Pickpocket amazement:

    And if we finally have an OC who knows what the hell he's doing, you'll see early be worth 4 X his salary this year. Fucking tice.

  • I live in Arizona, and I was at the Bears vs Cardinals game. Deven Hester could not have been worse as a return man, period. He did not field the ball well, he called for two fair catches when there was plenty of room, and his running was average at best. If he wasn't "Devin Hester", he would have been looking for work. If the new coaches can bring back the old Devin Hester, great. If he is going to perform like last year, give him the trade he wants, and thank him for his service. I think the other thing to keep in mind, is that kick returners typically don't have long careers, their bodies are savaged over time.

  • Golly.

    A selfish, spoiled professional athlete who doesn't know when to shaddap?

    Don't see THAT often, do we?

  • ''When I catch the ball I'm an attack guy,'' said the 6-1, 196-pound Anderson, an undrafted free agent from Texas Southern. '' I try to turn into an Adrian Peterson. I'm not a finesse receiver. I'm very aggressive.

    ''I'm just a dog -- that's the way I describe my ability on the field. I'm not stepping out of bounds for nobody. I've been in the weight room. I'm very physical. I'll go up and get it. I have a 42-inch vertical. I'll go up and get it if you need to be thrown up like that. Short yardage, I can get the first down. Whatever. I can run routes, 15 yard routes, come out of my break. I can do pretty much anything.''

    - Joe Anderson

  • Hester had that attack attitude....years ago. Time to bring in new blood and give them a shot. Guys that still have the fire. Guys that want to put a helmet on someone and impose their will on someone. I don't want a guy biding his time and trying to stay in the league a couple years longer. I want a guy that wants to be in the league for 10 more years and kick ass/take names day in and day out.

    Hester you fucking shell of the competitor you once were....we loved you and appreciated what you did when you had the fire. Now feel free to go away. Next man up.

  • I really like his attitude. And I think he could be this year's sleeper as in the American Heritage.dictionary definition:

    One that achieves unexpected recognition or success, as a racehorse or movie.

  • Absurd? Logical? Kool-aid?

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Man, I would love to have Byrd in our backfield. Might have been able to entice him over as well, but combined with the money he'll want and the fact we canned his dad makes me think we won't.

    This guy mentions Mike Brown having injury problems, but doesn't acknowledge that Conte hasn't played a full season yet and Wright only just finished a full 16 game season healthy.

    Still, these two still have the potential and IF they stay healthy I am really optimistic about their development. Regarding backups, we should keep Steltz and find another backup in FA or from UDFAs. No more Anthony Walters please.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    I don't know why Steltz doesn't see the field. Lac said he's always in the right place at the right time. The link is up my ass.

  • Tucks Medicated iPad?

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    whatever they are it's ridiculous comparing them to F/D. Inane.

    they are nowhere near as good... even after being inflation corrected.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    What's really weird is how well they play together.

  • this site is so fucked again. can't login most of the time. Brutal. When are we leaving this shithole?

    btw, I am 100% with Irish on his rant above. Fuck. Devin. Hester.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    The reason I comment so sparsely is because of the exact same problems my man. Roll on April.

    And Jeff, none of this gravatar shit on the new site please?

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Gravatar sucks

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I totally agree, you're gravatar comes through too faded...almost like a white silouette with gray background.

  • were we talking about dogs before:

    fun fact: All of the bull terriers used to play spuds in the commercials were actually female dogs... bitches!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, you been following the story of the ex-cop in LA out on a killing spree trying to kill other cops? I read his unedited manifesto and the dude sounds scary. Sounds like he's gonna keep trying to kill cops until he is killed. The police are so scared they've already shot three innocent people just because of their vehicle. Here's an unedited version of his manifesto:

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    jesus man. Maybe I should roll up there and take care of this fool. Fucking psychos man.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Hey corm. Just read the first 5-10 pages.

    Besides him being a serial murderer, he seems very intelligent and cogent and I don't doubt the things/type of things he's saying are a reality in the police dept in big cities. End of watch was basically about the same things right.

    Dude is crazy and needs to be put down ASAP, but I gotta say that while reading that you have to believe some of what he says is 100% true right?

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    He really goes into detail about case reports and gives a lot of specific information for people to look into. I don't doubt for a second that the Blue Code of Silence exists in many or most police departments. The police Bill of Rights exists in many states, where police officers under investigation get special privileges and often immunity from prosecution. This guy's mistake was ratting out another officer.

    If you read further down in the manifesto, he sounds determined and extremely dangerous. He has an advantage knowing their tactics and is willing to die in the process. It was cold-blooded killing the daughter and fiance of the guy who defended him against his firing. He almost killed one cop last night who was guarding the home of one of his targets. He grazed the guys head with a bullet. Then he ambushed a police patrol, killing one cop and severely wounding another. He's on a mission to kill cops and their families. Crazy. The end of the manifesto gets weird with him thanking people who helped him, then just bringing up all kinds of odd subjects.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Ha. "Welcome To San Diego": and (according to LAist) KTLA were reporting this as a barricade situation? Jesus.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    sucks for that dude... unless he love the 15 minutes.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    That shit was crazy.

    I feel for the guy's cause, but I'm not sure he's going to salvage his name with a murdering spree. Real life is not "First Blood".

  • Yeah, that doesn't make sense. The latest I heard is that they think he's fleeing into the mountains. But burning his truck could be a ruse to throw them off his trail. Or maybe he wants a shootout in the woods. Who knows, but I'm captivated by this story and how it ends.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Definitely going to be a movie one day.

  • jacked up man.

    Dude is cray cray no matter how messed up the LAPD is. Nothing is worth taking a life (or many).

  • if I have a 'type' I guess this is probably it. My friends would def say this is my type (yeah I know, this is everyone's type):

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not mine.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    do tell... or link rather.

    (btw, the chick has a 7ish face, but that bod... holy cow)

  • In reply to gpldan:

    GP likes'em a little durty and a little edgy...the kind of girl that will steal your shot of jager while you're in the bathroom and blow you in the car before meeting friends for dinner and drinks.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I got rick-rolled ... I thought maybe this one wouldn't be blonde ..... MB ... the Chocolate, baby .... get with the chocolate ..... mmmmmmm


  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:


  • In reply to Shady:


  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    haha congrats man, should seal the deal on a tourney bid for Illinois. I just wish it didn't come at the hands of my Hoosiers!

  • In reply to Shady:

    The Badgers must be a thorn in your side. I think they've beat Indiana 11 straight games.

    Not sure if you know the story, but Bobby Knight was offered the WI basketball coaching job in 1968. He accepted, but asked for the information to be kept secret until he returned to West Point and told his superiors. The news got leaked, Knight got pissed, and he turned down the job. Three years later he went to Indiana, and the rest is history. I think that is the story.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Hey Posse, I just came here to congratulate the Illini on the big victory. If they can put a run together, they still have a chance for the dance. I watched the end of the first half and turned the game off because I thought it was over. Nice comeback.

    If the Badgers would have made over 50% of their free throws against MI State, they would be tied for first in the Big Ten. Anyways, way to beat the #1 team in the country.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    Thanks, maing - I was acting the fool at the bar

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    In terms of "unlikely" comebacks, this one certainly ranks up there with the comeback against Arizone in the Elite Eight back in their sole NC game appearance.
    Indiana slacked off and as a die-hard Illini fan, to see Tyler Griffey up there on the shoulders of fans, that was special. That kid is a gym rat that has taken alot of grief, particularly this year, and to win the game against the #1 team in the country, his senior year...reminds me why I love college basketball.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    I haven't ran into you lately on the blog, but I been meaning to ask you about Griffey. He played poorly against WI both games this year, but looked great in one of the games last year. I thought he was going to be a key player for you guys this year. Glad to hear about him being the hero tonight.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    When Griffey plays well (and particularly when he -shoots- well), it vastly improves Illinois' offense. He has range that the other guys who play at the PF spot do not have. That said, he has been in a major shooting funk for the last month and a half, not coincidentally the same time that Illinois has collapsed versus Big10 competition. He has a good game tonight, with 8 boards, and they upset the #1 team in the country.
    When he is shooting well, the biggest impact is that it pulls an opposing big guy out of the paint. And Illinois has an above average rebounder in Paul at SG, and Abrams at PG, versus other guys at their position. The problem is when he's shooting like shit; it cripples their offensive rebounding. I like the kid .

  • By the way, guys...and 30 and Doc will particularly appreciate this...
    I'm going to be raising money this year to rappel off the side of a 25-story office building on behalf of Special Olympics Virginia.

    Should be interesting.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Bang! Bang!

    Should we do bucketlist listing now? that would be fun... throw down bitches.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    Jesus H, dude!

    You've come so far!

    I wouldn't want to be the people below you. They're bound to get shit on.

  • I'm going to go with bran muffins and Special K for the breakfast that day.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    They held the Special Olympics in Ireland some years back. The Emergency Response Unit were called to the airport when it was found that hundreds of people were trying to get small arms into the country.


  • Oh.... man.

  • What's your take here?

    Fuck it why not, you're going to die soon anyway so might as well go out all swole...


    Dude, that's pointless.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Each to his own. Interesting. Makes sense. The fitter you are the less you get sick. Why not?

  • Without the HGH though, no need for that, good diet, milk, yada yada ....

  • Yahhh... to my Irish brothers in Bahhh-stin

  • Oh yes... I would like to pass you that stick of butter... for your pie.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Not bad at all....can't really beat Nigella Lawson though, imagine if your woman still looked as remarkable as she does at 53.


  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    she's 53? Jesus.

    I'm a huge Nigella fan.

  • Apparently all she does is eat unhealthy shit, I am doubtful of that but whatever she does she could make millions selling it out to aging gals everywhere.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    i know this sounds crass but she comes off like a woman that loves to get it on.

  • 100% she's really really sexy

  • I would put money on that she is a massive, MASSIVE durty.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    I see your cook, and raise you this:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    i'd kill someone in an alley for her.

  • Hahahaha... fuck the alley, how about in the middle of a denny's

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Pacman Jones style

  • In reply to gpldan:

    fucking love Giada.

  • giada's got great (fake) tits, but I'm not a huge fan of her face. There's just something unappealing about it to me. Not sure what it is but maybe it's her freakishly big mouth with what looks like 100 teeth?

    Nigella is really sexy, but let's be honest... she samples a bit too much of her wares. Don't get me wrong I would 100% hit that... with butter and cream.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    sorry mang, Giada's are all natural. I know that will shock you but she's always had a nice natural rack and then had a kid.

  • huh, maybe you're right:

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I agree with you, maing...she has innumerable teeth.
    Weirds me out.

  • In reply to MikeBrownhadaPosse:

    hahahahaha... excellent. Reminds me of the cheshire cat. Glad I'm not just super fucking picky.. wait... shit.

    My disc now won't load at all. Might have to make the jump. Also got on the online dating thing last night. We'll see what happens... should be interesting none the less.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    speaking of... how many times can a dude fall in love a day?

  • I just have a thing for that Jane Seymour - Giada - Natalie Portman look.

    Where a lot of women have hit their peak at 20, the opposite seems to have been true for these three. A 20 year old Jane Seymour in Live and Let Die is nice, but not wow:

    Then, once she started going Cougar age, she got way more hot:

    Now, she's over the hill.

    But the same thing sort of happened with Portman and Giada.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Dr. Quinn, medicine woman.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Portman had a baby and is now no longer relevant. Ex-hottie.

  • Looks like it's kate again:

    I know, fat and not that hot. tooootally with you there.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Not that fat, hag again. Damn!

  • Anybody go to their 20th or 25th HS reunion?

    I wouldn't go, but I found some pictures online. There were these 4 babes, we called them the 4 Mares of the Fuckpocalypse in HS. All of them rocked it at 18. Always at the beach. Always.

    Yeah - not a single one of them rocks it past a 5 today.

    Chicago cuisine is hell on the HS reunion for local women.

    Oh yeah, I think they got about a dozen divorces between the four of them.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    If they'd only done coffee enemas, they'd look so much better.

    Seriously, this is massively fucked up.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Hahahaha fucking crazy people. At least they aren't shooting innocent civilians.

    Aaaaanyway, If we're going with older ladies, Diane Lane is by FAR my pick.

    This isn't at all SFW, and who knows if any are real, but:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    If this is what we've reduced to commenting on, definitely time for Jeff to come up with a new thread. Espresso anyone?

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Tobi... this must be your first offseason my man?!

    Welcome! Sit back and enjoy. This is where we separate the men from the boys... where only a handful of us hang around and keep each other entertained. This is why noobs don’t get instant access… when you’ve endured multiple dry dry offseasons with the same few guys, it becomes a tight group.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I know, I'm just messin' around myself. Actually, I think this my third off season. I remember well those tangential threads with 500+ comments that meandered on and on....

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Mine is coming up but I graduated from a private school with a class of 9.
    And my best friend in high school died from diabetes complications last summer, so there's only 8 of us now.
    And two or three are missing.

    Long way of saying, probably not going to travel halfway across the country for the opportunity to hold a reunion of one.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    Went to my 30th a while back. In my mind's eye, I always had remembered my old pals and classmates as they looked in HS and a few years post. Shocked to see how old looking most them had gotten. Kind of depressing to realize I was the only one there who hadn't really aged a day in the past thirty years...:)

  • I would hit this.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    mmmmm... gross.

  • The self-portraits of George Dubya Bush:

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    you have GOT to be kidding me.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Dubya's sister, Dorothy Bush Koch (Bwahahaha), was hacked. Dubya had apparently sent her the pics.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Speaking of Bush in a bathtub, we have this from Hunter S. Thompson:

    "...In an interview with The Independent in 2004, Thompson said he remembered meeting Bush at Thompson’s Super Bowl party in Houston in 1974. He said that Bush was “with a guy who had come to sell . . . ” but then cut himself off. “Look, I’m not going to put this next sentence on the record. Let’s just say that ‘a friend of mine’ was buying cocaine. I have friends in Houston from all walks of life. Lawyers. Professional men. Bush was hanging around with this crowd of what you might call gilded coke dilettantes.”

    "Thompson’s memory wasn’t always the most reliable, and his story about his Houston encounter with Bush evolved over time. But in the 2004 telling of it, at least, Thompson said the future president had left an indelible impression on him. “He knew who I was, at that time, because I had a reputation as a writer,” Thompson said. “I knew he was part of the Bush dynasty. But he was nothing, he offered nothing, and he promised nothing. He had no humor. He was insignificant in every way and consequently I didn’t pay much attention to him. But when he passed out in my bathtub, then I noticed him. I’d been in another room, talking to the bright people. I had to have him taken away...

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    THIS is why Hunter S is one of my favorite authors. Fucking brilliant story teller

    "He was insignificant in every way and consequently I didn’t pay much attention to him. But when he passed out in my bathtub, then I noticed him. I’d been in another room, talking to the bright people. I had to have him taken away..."

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Sounds legit. I used to laugh at people when they told me he was smart. He was just a good ol' boy who came from an extremely powerful and wealthy family with lots of connections. I remember when he was running for President in 2000. He was muddling along, then all of a sudden he was the front runner and had shit loads of money behind his campaign. The entire field was weak, but I didn't get the enthusiasm for him.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Is that paint by numbers? It has to be based on the other two pics. Check the Photoshop of him with a French mustache and beret

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    It's Paint-by-Numbers: "Stone Arch," by Adolf Hitler.

    (Dubya freestyles)

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Btw, I don't think that's a photoshop. I think it's a cardboard cut-out of himself that he painted over.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Hahahahahaha. awesome.

    Ahhhh, adolph... another excellent leader.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Right . Good old Hunter "Billions & billions of fried brain cells from all the drugging and drinking I did" Thompson pulls that out of his butt 2004. By that point in time, the guy was lucky he could remember his own name.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    Right. Dubya wasn't a drunk.

    75 choice quotes from George W. Bush in 2004.

    Links to 24 ESPN articles written by Hunter S. Thompson in 2004.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    thaaaank you sir. Bush was a known coke fiend as well. If hunter could have gotten past W's decided lack of IQ points, they probably would have gotten along famously.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Shhhh, Justin Bieber's on SNL.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:



  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Who looks more like a lesbian (NTTAWWT)?

    Justin Bieber or Matthew Stafford?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    MB - If there's any truth to the claim that smoking marijuana causes male breast enlargement, Justin needs to stop right now, because even without titties

    Shady - Bieber looks more like a lesbian than Matthew Stafford ever will. Bieber would actually make a pretty hot lesbian.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I think I need to wash my brain out with soap.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    I didn't say Dub wasn't a drunk. Just pointed out that Thompson was.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    The real question is, was George W. Bush sober in 2004. Here he is on August 5th of that year:

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    This is a brain in which nothing is happening. This dude is a flatliner. He's got a single photon in there, zinging around in the darkness. This guy had his finger on the button. Fuck me.

  • Here is my partial MILF/Cougar list in no particular order:

    1. Giada
    2. Courtney Cox / Jennifer Aniston
    3. Diane Lane
    4. Janet Mason - nsfw
    5. Cindy Crawford
    6. Christie Brinkley
    7. Monica Belluci
    8. Julianne Moore
    9. Nina Hartley - nsfw
    10.Beth Broderick

  • Marissa Tomei?

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


  • Had to google a few of them. Hell yes on Monica Belluci... yummy!

    Janet Mason has an insane body for an old lady, what's she 50?!

    Noooo on # 10, but here are a few more:
    * Famke Janssen (47) - xmen
    * Padma Lakshmi - She's 40fucking2!!!! So amazingly exotic and hot
    * Lauren Holly - Almost 50 (have I ever mentioned to you guys that I love big boobs?
    * Catherine motherfuckin Bell (44) - Jesus, just google image her name. OMG. there's a theme emerging here isn't there. Ok, ok, I love huge boobs. I'll seek help... at a local bar tonight.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I believe Catherine Bell's mother is Iranian (same as me)...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    whatever her mother was, I thank her graciously. She is so hot.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Yeah but those Persian chicks are high maintenance. Living in South Cal though, you've got to know that already....

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Tobi... I would maintain her all day every day baby.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I believethat the lovely Ms. Bell's father was a Brit in the diplomatic corps and that she speaks 7 languages.

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    I'd like to speak to her in tongues... if you know what I mean Al.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Oh, EIGHT if she speaks "the language of love".

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    well, that is the G rated version of what I was thinking, but you got my basic point.

    ...and I must admit that you are a cunning linguist sir!

  • In reply to Albertintucson:

    That's six more than I can speak although I can order a beer and ask for the bathroom in Spanish and say some pretty nasty things about your mother in Farsi...

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    MB, they're playing your song:

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    that IS my song Tobi!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    My list was a partial list. I put some bonified old ladies on there.

    I love famke, padma, lauren, catherine, etc.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    For your consideration: Sela Ward (56) Madeline Stowe (54) and Andie MacDowell (54).

    "..all that and a bag of chips"

  • How about Betsy Russell? Not bad for 49. I got calluses on my hands back in Jr. High from slapping the salami to her in Private School.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    very hot. nice job cor.

  • I really enjoyed your link to the 1994 SI swimsuit issue a few threads back. They were all hot, but Kathy Ireland was my favorite.

  • Three Words.

    Betty Fucking White.

  • Shame on you, she could be your GGMILF.

  • Monica Belluci. That's the shit I'm talking about man. Monica and a pill or two of X. Mister Vincent Cassell, I would change your wife's religion with my desire and my magic wand.

    I'd smash Helen Mirren too, just for old time's sake. Driving a 69 Corvette in 2013 isn't necessarily a pissy experience. By the bye, whether you're into cars or not this is a good watch : Clarkson comparing cars on Hot Metal :

  • MB, Doc, Posse. A follow up on the youth football topic. I exchanged emails with Dorothy Kozlowski this week. She's a Neuro Doc and she was on 670 this week to discuss a piece she wrote about her kid playing or not playing football. She was very gracious with her time. I've posted her reply below and if I can figure out how I'll link up the article and the study she referred to.
    "Hi John, This is a very individual decision and I appreciate you wanting to learn more before you prevent your child from doing something he loves. I've attached my op-ed that appeared in the Chicago Tribune. Thanks for your interest in reading it.

    What I will say is that there are no studies looking at the effects of impacts from football in kids…that data is not available. However what really finalized my decision not to let my son play youth football was the most recent study of CTE in the journal "Brain". I've also attached it. In that study they examined NFL players, yes but they also had brains from young 18 year olds who were not NFL players, who had only played youth and high school football. Their brains already showed degenerative proteins (tau). For me, this was my tipping point.

    I would recommend that you talk to your youth football league to see what steps they are doing to prevent their athletes from getting head injuries. Sports Legacy Institute recently put together a checklist for organizations that helps assess how safe they are with regards to concussion prevention. Here's the link:

    Best of luck in making your decision. Dorothy"

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    Thanks, Johnny.

    What I keep coming back to is this; knowing what I think I know now, would I do it again? Would I have played?

    For me, the answer is simple. Absolutely I would have played. Not only that, but I still wish I could have played the two years I had to sit out because of a lower back injury. I love the game. I love everything about it. Every year of grade school was just an exercise in counting down the years until I could strap on those shoulder pads. MB and I have talked about this, but I still get nostalgic to the point of depression when I smell the freshly cut grass in the summer. The smell of the dirt in my nose after a hard tackle is forever implanted n my frontal lobes. Football hurt like hell. Every day. But I loved it like I love very few things in my life. Hell yes I still would've played.

    The other things I loved: Skiing, rafting, mountain biking. How many people die or fuck up there knees from skiing? How many people drown in class five rapids? How many people kill there bodies with skateboards, mountain bikes, whatever? Rhetorical but my point is, the risky shit I've done are the things most responsible for making me who I am. I was kayaking down class 5 rapids when I was twelve. I fought forest fires for years. I've mountain biked and ski'd some seriously heinous shit, in the worst conditions. Could I have died? Will my life be worse in some way when I'm older because of these things? Maybe. But the life I lived in the meantime was far richer because of them.

    Hell yes I would've played.

  • This is kind of where I'm headed for my son Doc. I don't know how old you are but you seem to have your shit together. I just don't see the droves of fifty year olds out there with CTE issues. My gut tells me the real damage is done in the NFL.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    I'm 37 and marijuana cured my CTE.

  • Whatever works baby

  • Additional MILF:

    Jenna Elfman

  • also Tea Leoni

  • Elizabeth Hurley (47).

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:


    Liz Hurley in that shitty movie Bedazzled had me hooked from opening to ending credits.

  • That was pre-MILF (ILF). Now she sells & models her own line of bathing suits, or something. Still looks good. Someone posted pics here before.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    She was topless in a movie with Sean Penn a while back. Great boobs.

  • In reply to CanadaBear:

    Sean Penn is evil in The Gangster Squad. Good movie.

  • Need a topic tobijohn? Try this fantasy short...

  • In reply to EnderWiggin:

    Thanks, I'll check it once I'm done exploring all the old chick links that have been previously posted...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Exploring eh? Is that the word for it these days?

  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    I like to call it "Research".

  • Johnny,

    My old training partner who is also a sports doc (he’s one of SDSU’s ‘on-field’ docs) came by the other night to say hi. Since he played ball through college, was an NCAA wrestling champ badass, was a pro track cyclist, sees this stuff all the time when he’s with the Aztec fb team, and has two sons… I asked him about concussions and whether he’s going to let his two boys play.

    Here is his answer paraphrased.

    ‘I don’t know a lot of guys our age walking around with CTE. There’s much much more cancer, alcoholism, accidents, etc… What I got out of football and what I think my sons will get out of it will vastly outweigh the risks. If anything I’m not going to let them drink booze or being fucking idiots. Football made me a man, and I want that for my boys… who ain’t going to be NFL caliber from all indications and genetics.

    So yeah, they’ll play if they want. I wouldn’t worry about CTE because of football (there'll be plenty of other optys to get concussions in life elsewhere), it’s like any other disease influenced by outside forces… you do the best you can to minimize risks, but don’t live your life in fear.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    Thanks for the info MB. I've settled it in my mind. I'm feeling pretty much what your buddy said. As long as he wants in, I'll be there watching and cheering.

  • In reply to Johnnywad:

    welcome my man. good for you

  • Did you guys know that the outage at the Super Bowl was caused by an electrical device? Really? No shit? I could have written that shit 2 seconds after it happened. Of course it was an electrical device you fucking morons. Not to mention, who give a flying fuck? ESPN cracks me up.

    Susan Sarandon was a totally hot MILF in her day. She's 66 now and is still doable. That's my contribution. Penelope Cruz is 39 and still pretty hot. Her boobs looked fantastic in the movie Elegy with Ben Kingsly.

    Salma still looks hot for 45.

    Gotta go with MB on Diane Lane. She's 48. One problem. I'm pretty sure Josh Brolin would totally kick the shit out of me.

  • Let's not forget who set the bar here:

    Welch at 20:

    Welch at 40:

    Welch at 50:

  • In reply to gpldan:


  • In reply to gpldan:

    Munch munch. Apple crunch.

  • In reply to gpldan:

    She was actually sexier at 40!

  • This is funny and fits right in with the main topic of the blog right now.

  • Did you see The Wrestler? Tomei is a Cougar of the Fuckpocalyse there.

    And, if my math is right, she's 45 in this scene:

  • In reply to gpldan:

    nice perky little tits

  • Funny parody of the SB Dodge commercial.

  • In reply to The Fifth:

    that shit was funny... and sad... because it's all true... and the general public are a bunch of ignorant unquestioning sheep.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    This one's for you, MB.

  • Ha. Doc... saw that. Ridiculous!

    Why would you try and rid this world of such a wonderful thing. Bastards!

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    "it gives your vagina wings!"

  • Donald Driver retires...

    A true warrior and a classy guy that went from living in a car when younger, 7th rd pick and retires with 10,000 yds , 14 seasons and over 60 TD's.


  • he was a packer his whole career right?

    Fuck that guy. Right in his packer face.

  • In reply to MB30SD:


  • Whereas Terrel Owens did it in reverse.

  • Whereas Terrel Owens did it in reverse.


  • In reply to DYLbear23:

    Aw for fuck sake.

  • In reply to DYLbear23:


    Gnome code gottcha... walk 'em off!

  • That crazy brother totalled a Turbo S that's blacker than he is.

  • According to Mike Floria, there will be plenty of FA tackles available this coming year. It's about the tenth story down if you feel like scrolling:

    Otherwise, here's the piece:

    When assessing the value of a looming free agent, one of the most overlooked factors is a team’s ability to replace him.

    For teams faced with the possibility of losing a tackle to free agency, this year it’ll be pretty easy to fill the position.

    There’s a glut of free-agent tackles due to hit the market, and tackle is regarded as one of the deepest talent pools in this year’s draft. So if the Dolphins opt not to pay Jake Long $15 million under the franchise tag or to give him a long-term deal with the franchise number serving as the starting point, the Dolphins will have options.

    Ditto for other teams, like the Chiefs. Instead of spending big money to keep Branden Albert, Kansas City could simply use the first overall pick on Texas A&M tackle Luke Joeckel, nailing down the position for at least the next five years. Or the Chiefs could sign one of the other tackles who’ll be available on the open market — especially after the first week, when the money slows down.

    In New England, if Sebastian Vollmer wants too much money, the Pats could opt to go with Nate Solder and Marcus Cannon, supplementing the position with veterans who will be begging for work once the free-agent music stops playing.

    This reality makes the Broncos’ reported willingness to use the franchise tag on Ryan Clady a little confusing. It could be, however, that the Broncos are more concerned about continuity, given that there’s a narrow window within which Peyton Manning can pursue another Super Bowl win.

    Still, plenty of alternatives will be available in free agency, from Demetress Bell (who was cut this week by the Eagles) to Sam Baker to Gosder Cherilus to Winston Justice to Phil Loadholt to Bryant McKinnie to Andre Smith to Jermon Bushrod to Long, Albert, and Vollmer.

    The sheer numbers, coupled with the influx of rookie tackles, will make it difficult to get paid. Long could have the best luck to get a big deal on the open market, given the sizzle that goes along with being the first pick in the 2008 draft. Though it’s believed his play has declined in recent years, there likely will be a team both with a need and the cap room to make a splash, if/when the Dolphins decide not to tender a franchise tag reflecting a 20-percent raise over the eight-figure cap number that applied to Long in 2012.

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    I saw that. Two thoughts on the article.

    1) On the one hand, its totally correct. There is a lot of talent in FA and a lot more in the draft at OT this year, so there should be room for multiple teams to make a move without breaking the bank.

    2) On the other hand, there aren't a lot of big names in that article. Volmer is older, Denver will likely use the tag, Joekel will be gone in the top 5. Beyond that, the market of top tier talent shrinks fast. Jake Long is still in a good position to get a payday.

  • In reply to NewBearInTown:

    If Trestman could get an O-line to go from most sacks allowed one year to least sacks allowed the next utilizing the same personnel, then maybe we don't need top tier guys. Maybe just a couple better guys than what we have now...

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    Tobi... not you... nooooootttt yyyyyooooooouuuuu!

    Please just stop that right now. Haven't we already tried all this silliness?

    Common boys, let's get serious now. No more witchcraft and hooby jooby. We need real NFL fucking olinemen. period.

    (yes, once we have a few of them, a real scheme will help a LOT too)

  • In reply to tobijohn:

    KC did it a few years ago. No new players, worst to first. Scheme change only. It's possible.

    They didn't have J'Marcus Webb though .

  • Doc, if you haven't seen it thought you might find this funny.

    A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

    ‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’, the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” The Attorney General went on to say “Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk.”

  • In reply to The Fifth:


  • Not sure of the origin. One of my "geek" friends (i.e. a smart guy) posted it on facebook.

  • Grammy's sucked.

  • In reply to Crunch Buttsteak:

    Gravity sucks.

  • don't they always suck?

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