Weigh-in Wednesdays are going away...

Weigh-in Wednesdays are going away...
Retirement.jpg

Results are in…and I’m not going to post them anymore. Wait, why? I’ll explain…read on, friend.

I’m officially retiring Weigh-in Wednesdays. I’ve talked with Pam, my family, Ashley and Meredith about it a lot lately. Yesterday’s meeting with Meredith sealed the deal. We had a great conversation, and after we talked it was easy to make the decision.

It’s no secret that I’ve been afraid of a backslide; of gaining the weight back. I’m paranoid about it and have been micro managing the scale. I’ve been weighing in daily, sometimes a couple times a day. I’m so afraid of letting myself down and afraid I’ll be letting those who supported me and helped me down that I’m creating stress for myself.

Yes I know I need to stop worrying about letting people down. Logically I get that.

Part of my problem is that I’ve always put other people’s feelings and well being first, in part
because I didn’t think I was worth caring about. Having a foundation of
negativity growing up in an abusive home
can do that. Always being told what I couldn’t do, how bad a kid I was,
how much of a disappointment I was and so on were hard do overcome. For
years I let the negativity win. Then last year something changed.

I used to put work, Pam, the girls, friends…heck anyone…ahead of me and my health. It was flawed thinking. I needed to stop neglecting my health. I saw I
needed to focus on me and take care of myself. The risks of not doing
that could have been life threatening. But I’m not that big anymore, and
I’m not going back. I’m learning to take care of myself and be healthy.

In our chat, Meredith made a couple of good points…

Now, I think you are a very thoughtful, sensitive person
& you need to keep a couple things in mind: 1) you have inspired
countless others to get moving & get healthy 2) you are a dedicated
runner & you are now eating the healthiest that you EVER have in
your adult life 3) you are a loving father & husband.
 
I think you also hold a lot of stress in — you may internalize things
so that you don’t burden others. i think you are adding additional
pressure to yourself by posting your weigh-in #s.

When you weigh in and have a .2lb loss or a slight gain – you feel like
you’ve failed & that only increases your stress level AND potential
for backsliding.

I think she’s right. I’ve been thinking about changing how I share
weigh-in info for a while. Since this past October, I’ve been dealing
with this “what now?” type
feeling I’ve had. That and acknowledging this year is different have
seen me put even more needless pressure on myself.

Last year it made total sense to share it, to make it public. That was
one of the main goals and the main focus was to lose weight, a lot of
weight. This year, the focus has shifted.

I am at the lightest I’ve been in my adult life, and I’m in the best
shape I’ve ever been in. Sure I have room to grow and more weight I
could lose.  The main focus of this year is focusing
on becoming more of an athlete, both physically and mentally, and about
working to pay it forward. That in itself is stressful and when I tend to hold a lot of stress in so I don’t burden others, it snowballs.

So instead of posting my weigh in results, Wednesdays will be less about a number and more about living healthy.
I’ll talk about new habits I’m forming, the new recipes & foods that
I’m trying, exploring how food, especially sweets have been a crutch or
trigger for me in the past. Recognizing that has been eye opening.

Continuing to focus on a number is just adding stress and negativity. I
grew up surrounded by that and it’s had a huge effect on me. I want to
seek out, focus and celebrate positive things! My main goal is being the
best athlete I can be. Meredith called it “Super Health” and  weight
loss is the side effect of achieving that.

More later!

Comments

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  • AWESOME revelation Dan! Totally agree!!!!! Onward!

  • In reply to jenharrison:

    Thanks Coach! :D

  • In reply to jenharrison:

    Great post, thanks for sharing.

  • In reply to istilltri:

    Thanks Pam! :D

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