Musings of a lost, drunk Cubs fan

The Annual Cubs-Sox showdown usually brings out the worst in fans on both sides of town, particularly on the Red Line. Wednesday was no different — or maybe it was, since emotions were pent-up after Tuesday night’s rainout. And the guy who boarded the Red Line north at Addison at about 3:30 pm Wednesday proved that.

He was in his mid-20s, tall, beefy, shaved pink head covered by a Cubs cap. He wore a Derek Lee jersey, and sat with his girl friend, bellowing on the phone:

“Yeah, dude, really, I have no idea why I got thrown out of the game. I just looked up and they were all there. It must be something about my face. I don’t have a f***ing clue why they would throw me out.”

Hmmm…. might it have something to do with you being a belligerent drunk? He was very snappish on the phone and to his girl friend.

At Wilson, a couple boarded the train wearing black clothes, the man wearing a Sox cap. After they sat down, the Cubs fan began muttering to his girl friend:

“I think I should just become a Sox fan. I mean, I spent all this money, go to the first game, and it gets rained out. I go to the second game, and I get kicked out. Really. I should just switch to the Sox.”

His girl friend kept giving him reassuring back pats, to try and soothe him — and shut him up.

His phone rings. “Yeah yeah, we’re on the eastbound Red Line, not the westbound. We have to switch trains at Jackson.” His girl friend said: “I told you, I think we’re going the wrong way.”

He shouts back irritably: “We are not going the wrong way, I keep telling you that. I know where we’re going.” To the phone: “We have to switch at Jackson to get to the Metra to go to the west suburbs.”

By now, many of his fellow passengers get that familiar look of alarm when they see someone going the wrong way. One woman keeps trying to get his attention.

To the phone: “What stop am I at? Uhhh, we’re at Bryan Mauer. Yeah, Bryan Mauer.”

This brought great laughter from the Sox couple. And she corrected his pronunciation. Another woman passenger said: “Sir, you are going the wrong way. You have to go back the other way to Jackson.”

The guy’s girl friend hoists him out of the seat. “See, I told you we were going the wrong way.” And off they went at Bryn Mawr.

After the doors closed, the Sox fan shook her head and muttered:



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  • We're on the EASTBOUND redline, NOT the WESTBOUND! Duh! I'm not an idiot...

    That's classic. At least he wasn't driving.

  • This is why I hate the "Crosstown Classic." The only thing classic about it is the classic stupidity it brings out in both teams' fans. It all starts with Ozzie's tired rants about Wrigley, which then cause the Cub fans to get their shorts in a knot and reply with their tired rants about how souless US Comiscular is...blah, blah, blah. It usually ends with fights and expulsions, sometimes of players. What would be truly shocking is if nobody got drunk and assaulted someone, verbally or otherwise, and a chorus of Kumbaya broke out on the Red Line, but I guess that wouldn't be any fun because it's not what you're supposed to do. I can only imagine the tiresomeness is bigger and better in New York when the Mets and the Yankees play each other.

  • In reply to marthat3:

    If you are referring to Ozzie's rants about how old and dilapidated Wrigley is, he is right. They are the only team (at least in the NL anyway) that doesn't have batting cages that can be used in rain delays etc. and many other modern amenities. It is also very small by today's standards. If you've ever taken a Wrigley tour you'd see what I'm talking about.

    As for Cubs fans saying the Cell is soul-less it is, they might be right, but it's just an opinion. You can't prove it either way.

  • In reply to marthat3:

    The drunk dude talking to loud is a classic CTA experience.

  • In reply to marthat3:

    Ahem, Sox fan. Testosterone is fine. It just needs to be mediated by a working brain.

    "Eastbound Red Line." Ye gods. I'm going to hit "Submit" before I say something stereotypical that I would surely regret about shaved heads or the western suburbs.

    Or people with shaved heads from the western suburbs who call themselves Cubs fans because it's in fashion. I can only guess you didn't get close enough to see the neck tattoo.

    R.A. Stewart, Quondam El Rat quondam et semper

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