To The Dude Who Is Kinda Friends With Eddie Vedder's Best Friend

To The Dude Who Is Kinda Friends With Eddie Vedder's Best Friend
At this point my thought bubbles are tired of this crap

I have written a couple of posts pining over being Eddie Vedder’s best friend. Maybe it is too lofty of a goal so instead this is to the dude who is kinda friends with Eddie Vedder’s best friend. Let me be your acquaintance. Maybe you’ve never been to Chicago. I could be your concierge. I’ll find you a decent hotel or campsite but I can’t allow an acquaintance to crash on my couch.

It sounds crazy I know but so does dedicating now three posts to being Eddie Vedder’s best friend. Here is how it works. You kinda know his best friend. I could get my hair cut and take over the personality of said best friend. Like Single White Female you say? Yep!

Image courtesy of

Image courtesy of

I should be clear I’m not a stalker. Stalkers write what they believe will be secret letters to the ones they admire. I am making my want public as fuck. I’m standing outside Eddie Vedder’s bedroom window holding a boom box blaring In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. I’m speaking metaphorically of course. Eddie deserves better like Celine Dion or Mumford and his sons.

Did you guys know that Pearl Jam covered Sleeping By Myself which first appeared on Eddie Vedder’s Ukulele Songs album and Eddie Vedder covered Can’t Keep which originally appeared on Pearl Jam’s Riot Act album? Only Eddie’s best friend knows that. I bet you guys didn’t even know there was an album after Vitalogy. There are several!

I even bought a shitty bootleg of supposed rare songs by Pearl Jam because I thought it would be cool. Only until it was in my CD player did I realize my error. Even so I still have it. Why? I have no idea. Anyway, Eddie, be my best friend I’m very close to moving on to Johnny Depp.

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