My Mancow Experience

My Mancow Experience
Just hanging out with a half man half cow or is it the other way around?

A couple of weeks ago my friend who is also a promoter for Chicagoland comedy posted on Facebook. The post stated that if you wanted to be a guest on Mancow to private message him. I misread at first and massaged him which was unnecessary The post was available to anyone in our super secret super ego driven comedy group. The latter part is the reason i left the group.

I can’t afford an agent so I have to whore myself out to any media that will have me. I figured I would give it a shot I mean why not? I was confirmed and booked to be at the studio on May 8th at 6:45.

I was also told to have 3 joke premises with me. This is common with interview type shows. You tell them some topics and they work it into the interview. It is a necessary evil but I am not good at telling my jokes conversationally.

I poorly misjudged how long it would take me to get there and told the producer I was running about 20 minutes late. He said it was okay because they are overbooked so I could take my time. Why are all of you people on the road that early? Okay, I know why but why when I have to be somewhere?

I arrived and was allowed entry by the gate keeper. Yep, just a gate is separating his show and the commoners. I joined a couple of other people in the green room and joked

“Of course they book a not so famous comedian like me with Adam Ferrara and Kevin Farley”

Adam Ferrara is a much more successful comedian than I am and Kevin Farley is Chris Farley’s brother. I was kind of hoping to be rescheduled. Instead the show ended but I was told to hang tight. So I did.

Around 8:30 I was waiting in studio with members of a shock circus or maybe a freak show. I don’t know, they were nice guys though. We were shooting the shit, that’s a weird expression. Seriously, has anyone shot excrement into a hoop or shot it with a gun to pass time?

I digress…

We were just talking about whether or not it is painful to the guy next to me to have staples staple gunned into his arm and tongue. Yeah that happened. I was scared it was like being beat up to join a gang. If you want to guest on Mancow you must staple yourself. I am happy to report that this young gent does this for a living and I would not have to.

Clearly I'm waxing hysterical or about to hit the ounchline.

Clearly I’m waxing hysterical or about to hit the ounchline.

Suddenly it was show time, well the recorded part that would air later. It is a fast paced show and it is not easy to get a word a word in. You kind of just speak when spoken to. There was a lot I disagreed with but unless he’s talking to you your mic is turned down.

Staple dude stapled himself and there was a drunk clown. Really not different than my typical Thursday. Mancow asked introduced me and asked me about my girlfriend and I mentioned she is out of my league and Cow said the same thing about his wife. I told a joke and it was over. It was so quick.

I was asked a couple more questions in the second hour. I thought it would air on Monday but when I tuned in on Monday I wasn’t there.

All in all it was a fun experience. I didn’t know what to expect when I was expecting. Oh wait that’s a different post for a different day. I really didn’t know what to expect but that might have been for the best.

Am I disappointed that my entire appearance didn’t air? Sure, but I am also very happy with the part that did air. Who knows? I might end up on television again one day. Life is full of surprises and my next TV and radio gig will be a happy little surprise. Unless it is Sean Hannity because I am totally not doing his show.

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Tags: comedy, Mancow, radio, tv

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