Category: School

How My 6-Year-Old Explained the Eric Garner Murder to Me

Every week when a white police officer kills an unarmed black person and is subsequently vindicated by a grand jury, the outraged community at large always asks, “How do I explain this to my kids?” That’s a fair question, but in my house I ask a different question: “How is my kid going to explain... Read more »

School Is Out, And Doesn't That Just Suck For Mom and Dad?

As always in this town we’ve moved right from the polar vortex winter straight to summer. Fuck you very much spring for gracing us with your wintry mid-March, 30-degree April and snowy May. Yes we woke one Monday morning in May to see snow defecating on us. It’s early June, and we’re at the doorstep... Read more »

How to Explain to a Kindergartener that Bloody Mary is Bullshit

Recently, my older son came home from school with something paramount to tell me. I could feel his excitement as he got off the bus and bounced across the street. “Dad! Dad!” He shouted from three feet away. “I have to tell you about something!” “Speak up. Just kidding.  What is it?” He shifted uncomfortably.... Read more »
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    Chocolate Diapers

    I am a vitamin D-deficient former Floridian--who, despite the winter--loves Chicago. I contradicted convention (and common sense) by moving FROM the beach to the Midwest, but Lou Malnati's and any Italian beef sandwich reinforce that I made the right decision. I also got a wife and two sons out of it, and I would do anything for my family, except miss a Miami Hurricanes football game. This is my take on fatherhood. You can contact me at Thank you for reading!

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