Our youngest is just finishing high school in America. We’ve been told to monitor closely for signs of senioritis, an affliction that apparently hits all final year students as they approach the end of their school career, and which can manifest itself as a reluctance to get out of bed in the morning, or an equal reluctance to get into it at night.
While reading about this age-related condition, it dawned on me I share similar symptoms, but which are due to another age-related affliction, best known as senior momentitis. Symptoms such as….
- Being able to instantly forget everything you’ve learned over the past 10 years
- Being unable to remember anything you’ve been told in the last 10 minutes
- Mixing up the laundry detergent with the fabric conditioner. But at least they’re finally trying to do their own washing.
- Forgetting where in the house you left your phone and wallet. Or, in their case, forgetting in whose house they left them in.
- When asked, blanking on the names of the people you had dinner with last night. And when you got home.
- Being unable to recall how you spent all your money. Or, in their case, being unable to recall how they spent all your money.
- Realising half-way through your work day you’re still wearing the sweatpants you pulled on when you got out of bed. Although in your case, that wasn’t a deliberate choice.
- Talking about work, forgetting deadlines. Or in their case, ‘forgetting’ deadlines.
- Finding yourself standing outside their school, and wondering what you’re meant to be doing there. Except that happens to you only when there’s a college counseling meeting; for them, it’s pretty much every day from about April.
- Finding silly things in strange places – except that happens to you pretty much every day, while for them it’s only on one day. And may involve a classroom, a cow, some pigs or a Mariachi band.
- Having a book with people’s names and ideally a photograph to help you remember them. Except yours doesn’t say ‘Most likely to get ID’d when they’re 30’.
- Randomly becoming all hot and sweaty. In their case, it’s when they think about the future; in yours, you just randomly get all hot and sweaty.
I gather the only known cure for senioritis is graduation. But for all sufferers of senior moments, nothing makes you feel your age more than contemplating your youngest graduate from school. It’s an end of an era, of parent teacher conferences, back to school nights, and report cards. College may await, but you won’t be privy to the daily dramas and deadlines, you’ll never see the inside of their classrooms, nor meet their teachers.
Which I suppose is just as well really, as you’ll most likely forget their names.
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photo credit: Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL) 1992 – Clint – WSHS – Senior Picture – 281730_2266309540110_1319674775_2742369_6783142_n via photopin (license)