Am I Google’s Crazy Ex-Boyfriend?

Am I Google’s Crazy Ex-Boyfriend?

I founded my website,, almost 14 years ago.  It’s a great service because we are a law firm that will speak to people for free about and Illinois legal matter.  But it’s also a terrible business model because it’s dependent upon Google liking us in order for most people to find us.

Google and I had a great relationship in the beginning.  It was new and exciting.  Back in 2001 Yahoo and AOL were the big players in search.  There used to be something called Overture which was the top pay per click campaign platform back in the day.  When I started advertising on Google, they were selective as to whose ads they would show and charged per impression.

But where Google and I really fell in love is when they became the dominant search engine.  I dedicated my time to learning what would make Google happy and did whatever I could to keep them happy.  This meant that my web pages were ranking consistently at the top of the search engines.  And it lasted for years.

Google loved me because I was doing things the right way.  No spam, not fake pages.  I had people linking to my site, not because I asked them to, but because they thought my site was worthy.  I loved Google back because it was great for business. I was helping a ton of people because they knew I existed.  Everything was great.

In mid 2013 though, things began to change.  I saw Google looking at other law firms.  In the beginning I ignored it because I’m not the jealous type.  Google still put me first and besides, it’s not like I wasn’t looking at other search engines.  But suddenly, not only was Google crushing on other firms, they were ignoring me altogether at times.  My page on divorce in Illinois ( went from top of the rankings to barely visible.  Other pages soon followed suit. 

Suddenly Google was only paying attention to me when nobody else was around such as searches for niche issues that not many others were talking about.  I did this for my readers and I also did it for Google because they wanted me to provide good, relevant content.  Suddenly I wasn’t good enough for them.

I tried talking to Google, but Google didn’t want to talk to me and directly me to their friends on message boards.  Those friends were only interested in their problems and didn’t want to hear about what was wrong with me. 

At times it seemed like our relationship was getting better, but by the end of 2013 I could tell it was getting worse.  So I thought to myself, what would I tell someone that called my office.  The answer was clear.  I needed to seek outside, professional help.  I went to a SEO consultant.

My paid help was good because he told it to me straight.  If I wanted to get back together with Google, I had to fix me. Over time I had gotten lazy and had allowed some thin content on my site. While my appearance was attractive to Google in 2001, more than a decade later I looked the same, so I needed to update my look if I wanted to get noticed.  In the beginning I was easy to talk to, but my consultant helped me realize that I was making it harder for G (my nickname for them) to figure out what I was really saying and what was most important on my site.

The consultant told me it wouldn’t be easy.  It would be a lot of work.  It would take time.  But deep down G still loved me and I could win them back.  So I made the changes.  Changing my look was hard to agree to, but when I was done I felt like I went from Joe Dirt to an underwear model.  I had never looked so good.  Even my friends noticed the changes.

Google started to notice too. Things appeared to be headed in the right direction.  Then suddenly they plateaued again.  It’s not that we have no relationship, it’s just that it’s half of what it was before.  And as much as I like these other search engines, Google is really the one for me.  But I can’t get her to change her mind.

I’ve been talking to a new expert on relationships with G.  But that would be more money that I’m not sure I have.  And maybe I should just be happy that we had this great run together.  If Google doesn’t love me, then they don’t realize what they are missing.  The most important thing is that I love myself, love my website and love the service that I provide.  If that’s not good enough for Google then they don’t know what they are missing.  At least that’s what my friends say.  Maybe I should start focusing on other search engines. used to think I was cute. was alright back in the day, I wonder what they are up to? seems to have lost a little weight, maybe they’d be interested.

That’s right.  Who needs Google anyway?  I’m moving on.  I have to look out for me.

But maybe I’ll just drive by Google’s house one last time and sit in my car and wait for them.  I haven’t tried serenading Google with my guitar yet either.  And I haven’t left Google 50 voicemails yet to see if that will get them to talk to me. But if that doesn’t work then I’m really done with them for good. 



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  • Just as my instinct had told me, but was too blinded by husband is sleeping with my best friend. O God! He is even in love with her. I even was informed about this by an attendant at one of the grocery stores I patronize, but rebuked her rudely and angrily because I taught she had an eye on my husband. Times went on and days went past...I was living a life of ''blinded by love''. My husband and I have been married for 3 years now and I was surprised when I found out he has been living a ''happily married life'' of presence and deceit with me just because of my financial flamboyancy. This was how I found out about them (my husband and my best friend)...There was going to be a dinner for couples that resided in the estate, since it was the estate feast day. But I was down with an unknown illness so I told my husband that we wouldn't be able to make it to the dinner due to my condition and he agreed (this was on a Monday morning and the dinner was dated for Friday). The next day, I called my dad and complained to him about my illness which the doctor had examined and told me there wasn't anything wrong with me, of which i knew wasn't true because I was going through hell inside of my body. My dad told me not to worry and asked me to contact our long time known herbal doctor (Dr. Payo Shalo) (who has been God sent to my family in terms of spiritual help; he helped cure my dad off cancer, my mom off fibroid, my brother was awarded a contract with the world bank, just by his spells) on his email which I did. I didn't get a reply from him till Thursday morning which he explained and blamed on his busy schedules with other of his customers that sought spiritual help. We swung into actions with the procedures of getting me cured of this unknown killer disease that was bent on getting rid of my life. I did all I was instructed by the doctor (herbal). On Friday morning, my husband woke up and told me he was going to be away for about 3 days on a business conference. When he left, I contacted the doctor for the final rites. When everything was done, by 1:45pm just as the doctor had promised, I was well again. I called my dad and informed him about this miracle. I went to my parent’s house which I haven't been able to do in a long while because of the illness...everyone was happy. I was with my parents till evening, and after having dinner with them, I went to bed. Just as I was going to sleep, I got a call from a neighbor in my estate telling me that she could just see my husband with another lady at the estate's dinner for couples. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. Immediately, I drove to the venue and my eyes saw my ears... my husband just leaving in his car with my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, so I tailed them for about 15mins and they drove into a hotel...hmmm. I went back to my apartment and without hesitation I called Dr. Payo Shalo and told him of what I just found out. I told him I needed an urgent spell to make my husband develop sudden hatred for my best friend and immediately come back to me as soon as then. The doctor told me what to do, late that night, I got everything done. At about 3:18am on Saturday morning, my door opened. Who is this in my house this early? ...My husband? In tears, he is confessing all he had been doing with my best friend and asking me to forgive him and accept him as the husband he used to be ... I wept my eyes out. I immediately forgave him for I love him with all my heart. Now, my husband and I are living faithfully to each other and my illness, gone forever. Are you in need of any kind of spiritual, medical, financial help? Please contact Dr. Payo Shalo on the above email address for your rapid solutions. (Re-write the email in its right form)

  • In reply to ksarakent:

    Haha, I love the last sentence. It's like a fake Instagram ad where the endorser forgets to take away the instructions.

  • I was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took

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