The best lawyer joke ever

The best lawyer joke ever







So recently I got an e-mail from someone that said the following (I redacted info that gave away their identity):

My family went to a seafood restaurant chain for the first time in years.  We went for the $60 lobster which was the biggest one that they had.  When it came the meat was inside.  We were under the impression that all of the meat would be taken out of the lobster so there wouldn’t be any work.   When we complained, the waitress offered to do it at our table.  Well all of the sudden we are getting sprayed with meat and juices flying everywhere as she ripped it limb from limb.  Much of the meat was left in the lobster and what was taken out was rudely thrown in to a bowl.  When we complained the manager talked down to us and didn’t do anything to adjust our bill.  Our special evening was ruined.  We want to sue them for $3 million due to their terrible service and treatment of us as well as the fact that the food was not cooked correctly.

This reminded me of the best joke I ever heard from a lawyer.  Years ago he was representing a man in an Illinois workers’ compensation case.  He valued the case at between $25,000-$30,000 and was ecstatic when the insurance company offered $35,000.  He went to his client with the great news, but his client had a sad face after he told him about the offer.  “What’s wrong?” the lawyer asked.  The client replied, “I was really hoping for more.”  The attorney was confused a bit as he had told his client what the case was worth and why, so he asked the client what he was hoping to get.  The client replied that he wanted the lawyer to ask for one million dollars.  “One million?  We should ask for three million,” the lawyer responded.  “Really?” said the client excitedly.  “You think we can get that?”  The lawyer snapped back, “You’ve got the same chance as getting $3 million as you do at getting $1 milllion!!!”

If you didn’t like that one, here are a bunch of other good ones:

What, you were expecting a bunch of jokes like “What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of Lake Michigan?” 

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