To the esteemed Mr. Steve Bartman,
Hello Mr. Bartman. Let me preface this letter by telling you that I am not a die hard Cubs fan. I am in fact a White Sox fan. I know, I know, right now you’re wondering to yourself why I’m bothering to write to you then.
But don’t you see, that makes me the perfect guy to address this issue with you.
Steve, it is time. A full decade has now passed since that fateful game. You can forgive them now. All those Cub fans. All of those people who so desperately needed a scapegoat.
We are all just vulnerable kids on the inside Steve. We are all subject to human fallacies. We all create scapegoats sometimes.
Maybe forgiveness is too much to ask. After all, they ruined your life as a Chicagoan. They pushed you into seclusion. But at the very least you should come back home.
Now I know you would not welcome any sort of fanfare. I know you would not want to go on any talk shows or be interviewed on the news. You are obviously not that kind of guy. That’s why I’m suggesting a clandestine meeting on the south side at first.
Just a few guys getting together one afternoon for a couple of Old Styles to talk about the Bears. Then maybe that night we mosey on up to Division or Rush to blend in with the Saturday night crowds.
The next thing you know Steve, you’re back! No fanfare, no craziness. Just you being back where you belong. In the city you love.
And they will welcome you back Steve. You just need a go- between. A liaison if you will. I, the White Sox fan from Indiana, will be your liaison. It’s the perfect time and situation to bring you back to Chicago.
You take some time and think about it. Get in touch when you’re ready. I look forward to hearing from you.
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