Obama Address Has Me Day Dreaming Of An Address Of My Own

Obama Address Has Me Day Dreaming Of An Address Of My Own

President Barack Obama will present the nation with yet another speech, this one supposedly to tell us how he will spur job growth. But, you and I already know that this latest gig is nothing more than another opportunity to remind us how Republicans (and in particular the Tea Party members) have hampered his abilities to lead this nation in these extraordinary economic times. Perhaps there is a shred of truth to the stone-walling from the other side but let us not forget that the same game was played when Nancy Pelosi ran things when the Democrats controlled both the House and the Senate.

In short – President Obama will be on the stump – nothing more, nothing less.

Democrats and Republicans alike have done a great disservice to the American People. Politics have denigrated to the point that neither side offers us much in the way of good policy or relief. Both have fallen victim to the Special Interests and as a result everyday Americans have been left victimized and abused by its’ elected leadership. They have succumbed to Big Business. You know the same ones who are now telling the long term unemployed that they need not apply for a job unless they already have one. Man, how stupid is that? Well in a nut shell – That Is As Stupid As Shit On A Stick!

But that is what both sides of the aisle have allowed Big Business to do to us by enacting failed policies and handing out taxpayer bailouts. Americans are still being held hostage by the whole lot in Washington. I suppose the only way to send a strong message is for millions of Americans to descend upon Washington and physically remove every sitting member of the U.S. Congress. Maybe then the politicians will take us seriously huh?

Sure – it is a daydream I have from time to time – but – wouldn’t it be interesting just the same? As a matter-of-fact I have another daydream too:

A Presidential Address that sounds something like this –

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed. Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is over. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. Additionally, I will remove all troops from Afghanistan / Pakistan because we just can’t get them to stop playing games with American Lives as they enrich themselves from the military and financial aid we give them. Troops will be home in 60 days!

However, it is now time to begin the reckoning:

Before me, I have two lists, The first list contains the names of all the countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq / Afghanistan conflict, as well as other hot spots. The list, as you can imagine –  is very short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia and Poland are just some of those countries. The second list, though, contains every one not mentioned in the first list. Unfortunately that list is quite long and involves most of the world’s nations. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening for the Press.

Let me start by saying: EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY – all foreign aid to nations on List 2 are herewith revoked and will cease indefinitely. The money that is saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for, and offset, the costs of the Iraqi war to date. In addition, the savings made by no longer subsidizing these nations will be transferred to the Social Security System. This action will keep SSA solvent long enough for us to revamp the scope and manner as to who actually qualifies for those benefits. And Yes – that means that Illegals will no longer receive government assistance until they decide to integrate into American Society LEGALLY.

Let it be known that from this point forward, Americans will no longer pour money into third world Hell holes and watch their corrupt government leaders grow fatter on our generosity. As for famine relief or wrestling with yet another epidemic – I suggest those nations call France and Germany since they have no respect, or memory, of everything we have done for them. And that includes the spilling of American Blood!

In the future, I will work with the Congress to redirect foreign aid towards solving the vexing social problems that we have right here at home.

As for Terrorist Organizations – Mess with us and we will hunt you down wherever you are and eliminate you from the face of the earth. So I suggest that terrorists begin looking towards France or China if they are feeling a little gutsy. In addition to the Mess With Us Doctrine – remember we have the means to eliminate you similar to Hiroshima or Nagasaki. Don’t Mess With US!

I am also herewith ordering that all diplomatic relations be severed with France, China and Russia. Any debts owed will be repaid by Wall Street derivatives. Thanks for all your help, comrades.

As for Europe as a whole – well, America will be retiring from NATO. The time has come to defend yourselves from any and all aggressors without American sacrifice! Similarly, America will be retiring from the United Nations since that organization has become irrelevant.

Therefore, I have also instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing all UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets. They will then go to sites where they will be stripped, shredded and crushed if tickets and fines are not wiped from the books within two days. I don’t care about whatever treaty pertains to this action. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets and have ignored repeated attempts at their collection. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and Limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world.

I just love New York!

Last but not least – a special note to our neighbors to the North and South: Canada and Mexico are both on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, I think you folks might not want to keep ticking us off. And that holds especially true for Mexico with its corrupt president and government. Mexico needs a major attitude adjustment. And since we are leaving Iraq, I will have a couple thousand extra tanks and infantry divisions sitting around and they will be put into service for Border Security. Americans are more than tired of this one-way highway between our nations. In addition to that action, America will also be abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting right now!

As for Energy. America will be drilling for oil wherever she has known reserves. Whether that is Alaska or in the Everglades. America has the means to supply its own energy needs without relying on a Cartel made up largely of Bedouins. If you’ are an environmentalist who opposes this decision then I refer you to List 2 – pick a country and we will expedite your move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Sure, some will accuse us of isolationism. Okay I suppose by only remark to that is “You’re Darn Tootin!” After nearly a century of trying to help people and nations around the globe live a decent life – all it has gotten America is an undying hatred by just about everyone on our planet. Well the time has come to eliminate hunger and homelessness in America!

In closing – as for all our True Allies named in List 1 – I have a final thought for you. Thank you. We owe you much and we won’t ever forget. As for those who are named in List 2 – I also have a final thought for you – you might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America …Thank you and good night.’


Since President Obama won’t be coming close to anything contained in my daydream speech –

I guess I will just take a pass tonight and read an atomic sub manual.


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  • Obviously, you posted about 20 minutes before he gave his speech, and you didn't get the advance copy from his Press Secretary. Of course, it was nothing like this.

    In fact most of it was "Democrats and Republicans have proposed this before, so Pass It Now." The more fun part was looking at the rostrum to see if Biden or Boehner was going to exhibit the symptoms of gastric distress more often.

    Although he didn't cut off the foreigners, that apparently is being left to the super committee.

    My observations:

    --The Americans Job Act probably has a title such as The Americans Mighty Expect Real Income Cash Access... (you know where I am going, such as that the CAN-SPAM Act and TEA-LU are acronyms for something meaningless).

    --He said no boondoggles, so I guess the CTA doesn't get any infrastructure money (given their history of capital "improvements" quickly falling apart). On the other hand, the last person with whom he shook hands before ascending the podium was [presumably his] Congressman Rush.

    --His line on "Why are we buying Hyundais and Kias made in Korea instead of Koreans buying Fords, Chevys, and Chryslers stamped Made in America" missed the spot. Most Hyundais and Kias sold here are assembled in Montgomery, Ala., which, of course might not be in the U.S.A., according to his supporters. On the other hand, the Koreans on Channel 41 were all upset that Daewoo cars (made in Korea) are being rebranded as Chevrolet.

    --I hope the infrastructure spending is not more asphalt, which is not a capital asset. Most of ARRA was spent in that manner.

    --At least the proposed tax breaks were tied to hiring someone.

    --I turned from 32.1 to 7.1 because I'm not going to watch Fox if they don't transmit a common feed in HD and high fidelity audio.

  • In reply to jack:

    Very well said Jack.

    Interesting comment on the Daewoo; I thought Chevrolet bought them out lock, stock and barrel when they launched the Aveo. So I guess you pointed out something new to me. Thanks.

    I did catch some of the speech - in spite of my intent not to. And like you was looking for that gastric distress myself. I did however hear the catcalls - presumably from the other side of the aisle.

    Whether they agree or not - lawmakers fail to show respect for the office once again. This isn't the Prime Minister you know? But like you I come away - unimpressed again.

  • In reply to Michael Ciric:

    Don't know when GM bought out Daewoo (it went bankrupt a while back), but the branding change in Korea just happened.

    What was brought over here as a Pontiac G8 was actually an Australian Holden, but a GM car nevertheless. Similarly, Saturns were mostly Opels. Before that, some really ugly Pontiac was a Daewoo.

    The government bailout resulted in--

    --Aveo being replaced by Sonic, which had to be assembled in the U.S., and supposedly could be after the labor concessions.

    --Buick surviving only because the brand is recognized in China.

    As far as the reaction among Congress, it wasn't clear this time if there was a block applauding or standing up. Boehner applauded a couple of times. Bush, of course, always got catcalls.

    Somehow, the catcalls in parliamentary governments don't bother me; at least they are debating, as opposed to the lone C-SPAN camera focused on the speaker before the empty House, or on when the Hon. Al Franken presides over the Committee of the Whole in the Senate. For instance, when the debt ceiling came up, about 15 minutes passed just to run the quorum call through the machine. One has to wonder what goes on before the Indian or Pakistani parliament, built on the UK model. I'll bet Molotov Cocktails are part of the action.

  • In reply to jack:

    Interesting. Thanks for the auto industry update. Man I must be losing it - I used to be more up on it. Oh well.

    As for India or Pakistan - I can just imagine!

    I don't mind the catcalls either - especially during a debate. Unfortunately we don't have any debate in our current Congress. Honorable Al Franken - oh boy! Comedic Irony.

    Great comments as usual my friend.

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