Category: Satire

Donald Trump, alphabetically speaking

Donald Trump, alphabetically speaking
This is just a little word play.  Following the GOP presumptive nominee’s lead, I tried to think of disparaging descriptives like, “lying Ted,” “little Marco” and “crooked Hillary.” My goal was to come up with 3 words for each letter of the alphabet which might apply to Don the Con.  It’s meant to be funny,... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
June 10, 2016 at 9:00 am • 

Won't you be my neighbor

Won't you be my neighbor
This being the last Wednesday of the month, an email has just arrived in the inboxes of all ChicagoNow bloggers saying the following: “Welcome to ChicagoNow’s Blogapalooz-Hour. Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to publish a post in one hour. Here is tonight’s challenge: ‘Write a letter to a celebrity (rock star,... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
October 28, 2015 at 9:59 pm • 

Drone crash kills roofer, puppy saved

Drone crash kills roofer, puppy saved
Two drones, both on experimental delivery missions from two of America’s largest retailers crashed today over a house in a suburb north of Chicago.  Both drones were making deliveries to the Lincolnwood (IL) house over which they crashed. In the wake of the crash, the falling UAVs (Unmanned Airborne Vehicles) knocked a workman off the... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
October 27, 2015 at 6:55 pm • 
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Hulk Hogan is a professional wrestler and Jon Stewart is still just a comedian

Hulk Hogan is a professional wrestler and Jon Stewart is still just a comedian
Hulk Hogan was recently booted from the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) for racially charged rants dating back to 2012 and 2007.  The only real surprise is that we’re just hearing about it. Now we know four things about Hulk Hogan.  He’s a racist, he used (uses?) steroids, he’s a bit of an over-actor, both in... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
August 13, 2015 at 10:56 am • 

O say can you "C - word"

O say can you "C - word"
Paula Deen’s in the news again, this time for some brown paint on her son’s face.  Some “I Love Lucy” thing tweeted out by her social secretary.  Not a Paula Deen fan, but this one’s really stretching the politically correct banner to its limits. Last time Deen was in trouble it involved the n-word and... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
July 10, 2015 at 12:55 pm • 

Jack of all trades, rockstar in my own mind

Jack of all trades, rockstar in my own mind
Tonight’s assignment, sent to us at 9:00 PM CDT is to write a blog on the following subject and publish it exactly at 10:00 PM: “Without trying to be humble, write about something you’re really good at.” I spent the first five minutes staring at it, trying to decide if that “at” is a dangling... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
June 24, 2015 at 10:09 pm • 
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Tomorrow: Fact or fiction?

Tomorrow: Fact or fiction?
        The only problem with getting a topic at 9:00 PM about which you must publish a finished, cogent blog by 10:00 PM is…the whole thing.  That’s the problem, the whole thing. Producing an impromptu blog in an hour isn’t necessarily harder than having all day to do it, especially when you... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
May 27, 2015 at 10:03 pm • 

FOX News says video was doctored, South Carolina man was actually running toward police officer

FOX News says video was doctored, South Carolina man was actually running toward police officer
FOX News has released a report this morning that the video of North Charleston (SC) Patrolman Michael Slager shooting Walter Scott in the back as Scott was running away from Slager had been altered. According to analysts at FOX, Mr. Slager was running toward Patrolman Slager, causing the officer to draw his gun and fire. ... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
April 8, 2015 at 10:43 am • 

Toilets, showers, parking spaces and the Americans with Disabilities Act

Toilets, showers, parking spaces and the Americans with Disabilities Act
Today’s subject is toilets and if you think we’re going to be doing potty jokes here, please flush that thought from your mind.  OK, that’s the last one. Finishing my workout yesterday at Lifetime Fitness in Vernon Hills, Illinois, I stripped down-not a pretty sight-and headed for the showers.  Lifetime has 16 shower stalls, including... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
March 1, 2015 at 3:58 pm • 
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Kanye West once again proves to Beyonce that she is his one true love

Kanye West once again proves to Beyonce that she is his one true love
Kanye West is a weird guy no matter how you look it.  If he had a little more talent, he would be to music what Forest Whitaker is to acting. No offense, Forest. Whitaker always seems to be deep in thought, as if he’s working to get into the mind of some new character.  To... Read more »
By Bob Abrams,
February 10, 2015 at 10:50 am •