Category: Satire

My doggone doggie turned out to be a Trumpster

My doggone doggie turned out to be a Trumpster
Whether you think it’s irony or poetic justice, it’s true. My little doggie is a Trumpster. Or Trumplican, Trumpanzee or whatever you call them. Bear in mind that we’ve only had this 1-year old little guy for a couple of months and he spent the formative 2-10-month period of his life with a crazy lady.... Read more »

When Menards 11% off everything turns into 11% off nothing

When Menards 11% off everything turns into 11% off nothing
Menard’s 11%-off-everything deal always seemed a bit sketchy to me. Alternatively, they would go from 11% off everything to 11% off power tools to 11% off ceiling fans, but nothing really changed. The 11% off thing used to come around about every other month, but since the pandemic, it’s been nonstop. It’s always 11% off... Read more »

I got my flu shot today and I don't even know what's in it

I got my flu shot today and I don't even know what's in it
Walgreens sent me a text today saying that I should come in and get a flu shot. Can you even imagine the nerve? Just because they have a store on every corner in America doesn’t give them the right to tell me how to protect myself or my family from a potentially deadly disease. I... Read more »
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5 reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner and 5 reasonable excuses

5 reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner and 5 reasonable excuses
The following was first posted on 11/22/18.  It was written for a non-COVID, second Trump Thanksgiving, but seems appropriate today.  Have a happy Thanksgiving and please stay safe out there: Thanksgiving can be stressful and this year will be worse.  That I can tell you. Other than sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top, I’m not... Read more »

Death and boozama in the South Pacific

Death and boozama in the South Pacific
Warning: This is a very old joke Derek and Phil were long time sailing buddies, three years into an around the world adventure. Somewhere in the South Pacific a terrible storm destroyed their boat and set them adrift 100 yards offshore of an uncharted island inhabited by a strange group of natives. Derek and Phil... Read more »

You can leave a mess on your table and walk away guilt free

You can leave a mess on your table and walk away guilt free
Busing tables is not one of the pressing issues of the 21st Century.  It should not appear on the same page or even in the same book with climate change. It is, however, a timely distraction from events that are becoming all too distracting. We’re mostly talking about chain restaurants and “luxury” fast food joints... Read more »
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In what fantasy does Andrew Lelling think that fairness has a place in America?

In what fantasy does Andrew Lelling think that fairness has a place in America?
Every parent has at one time or been forced to deal with a child’s protest of “That’s not fair.”   The go-to response is usually, “Life’s not fair, get over it.” Of all the sayings, cliches and adages we heard from our parents and repeated to our kids, that one rings as true as the Liberty... Read more »

5 reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner and 5 reasonable excuses

5 reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner and 5 reasonable excuses
Parts of this have been reprinted from previous posts.  You can scroll down if you’d like to skip to the advice that will help you survive the inevitable Thanksgiving Battle Royale: Five Reasons to skip Thanksgiving dinner: 1. Get a 70″ TV at Walmart for $100 2. Crazy cousin Eddie got a concealed carry permit... Read more »

There are Ways to Engage Trumpsters Without Coming to Blows

There are Ways to Engage Trumpsters Without Coming to Blows
Before we try to mend fences with those friends and relatives from whom we’ve been estranged these many months, some rules need to be established. These rules are hard, fast and non-negotiable.  Without them, we risk returning to chaos. First and most obvious of all, politics will not be discussed in any way, shape or... Read more »
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Brothers and Sisters of the Resistance, Melania Trump is not the Enemy

Brothers and Sisters of the Resistance, Melania Trump is not the Enemy
Melania Trump has drawn the ire of the Liberal universe in a way that is totally disproportionate with anything that you can possibly accuse her of doing. The name calling is shameful and embarrassing. Michelle Obama is one the most beloved first ladies since Jackie Kennedy.  She’s smart, articulate and passionate in her beliefs and... Read more »