One thing that can be said about Melania, perhaps the only generous thing that can be said is that she was a First Lady like no other.
The first foreign born First Lady in 192 years and superficially glamorous, Mel (I call her Mel) studied architecture and design at the University of Ljubljana for one year before dropping out.
It is alleged that she speaks five languages, but if English is representative of her linguistic skills, it’s an underwhelmingly dubious achievement.
Mel’s permanent residency and citizenship have always been shrouded in secrecy and her parents’ gained entry to the United States by what her husband would come to refer to as chain migration.
Her signature deal, Be Best, was an incomprehensible mash up of words that are seldom (never) seen juxtaposed in such a way.
Mel’s predecessor, Michelle Obama, graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School, had a couple of initiatives that were much more easily understood.
Mrs. Obama’s first initiative created the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act of 2010. While an ambitious and often challenged (by the GOP) program, the nature and importance of that initiative can readily be appreciated.
Mrs. Obama’s Let Girls Learn program was aimed at bringing education and opportunity to young women in developing nations.
For most, the name Be Best draws a complete blank. Something like Do Your Best or Be Your Best might have given more of a hint at an actual agenda, but Be Best seems like a belch of Slovenian mumbo jumbo.
The only time Mel spoke clearly and understandably was when she asked, Who gives a fuck about Christmas?
In it’s rollout literature, Be Best was defined as a program to concentrate on three main pillars: well-being, online safety, and opioid abuse.
Mel could’ve solved the whole online safety issue by cutting off her husband’s thumbs, like Bed Bug Eddie in The Pope of Greenwich Village.
It would’ve been hard to assess the well being part of Mel’s plan in the midst of a raging pandemic that’s left 400,000 Americans dead, but the whole thing fell apart early on and nobody got well and nobody was saved from opioids.
Mel recited a completely fictitious farewell address on Sunday, closing with a stunning proclamation from the land of oblivion; violence is never the answer.
We can take issue with that conclusion on many levels, but it rings completely hollow coming from the wife of the guy who instigated shootings in churches, shopping malls and synagogues as a prelude to inciting an armed insurrection in our nation’s Capitol.
Had she asked, I would’ve told Mel that a farewell address was completely superfluous.
She had already sealed her fate as the foreigner who refused to welcome incoming First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden.
Mel’s most enduring legacy may be that she lent veracity and universality to the old adage; Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
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