Hillary Clinton can rob a bank every Friday night and steal the collection plate on Sunday

Hillary Clinton can rob a bank every Friday night and steal the collection plate on Sunday
image: telegraph.co.uk

Originally posted  August 7, 2016:

How you process the title of this piece depends entirely upon your predisposition toward Hillary Clinton.

If you’re a Republican or a registered Clinton-hater, you’re probably resentful that the Clintons get away with stuff that you can’t.  There might be some truth to that, but it doesn’t make it unique in politics or in our culture.

As Ari Gold said in the Entourage movie, “That’s what stars do: they walk into rooms and fuck girls that civilians want.

What you may not realize is that much of your resentment for the Clintons has been carefully cultivated by a 30-year assault on them by special interest groups whose only goal is to discredit Democratic initiatives to regulate corporate America.

It’s no coincidence that lobbyists from health care to tobacco and oil have unfettered access to (GOP) legislators and routinely trample citizens’ rights and interests.

Please don’t take my word for it, you can fact check for yourself.  Just don’t do it on the Fox News website.

Hillary Clinton can rob a bank every Friday night and steal the collection plate on Sunday and is still more qualified to be Commander in Chief than Don the Con Trump.

Presidents, like doctors should do no harm.  Whatever Hillary Clinton did with her emails, which will be debated for another decade, she will not turn the planet into a nuclear wasteland, nor will she rip out the soul of America.

What she did was stupid, not criminal.  Anyone who’s ever been divorced can admit to doing at least one stupid thing.

Whatever responsibility you think Hillary Clinton has for the incident in Benghazi in 2012, she still has more foreign policy experience than all the Republican primary candidates put together.

We can even forget that there were 13 such attacks under President George W. Bush, resulting in 60 deaths and zero investigations.

Clinton is eminently more qualified to meet with foreign leaders than the GOP candidate who was somehow left standing when the dust cleared.

That’s not to say that Don the Con doesn’t have any familiarity with foreign leaders.  He’s a great admirer of Vladimir Putin.  He probably has a photo album of Putin’s shirtless escapades.

According to Don, he got very familiar with Putin when they were on 60 Minutes together.  The fact that their segments were filmed at different times and in different countries wasn’t a barrier to their bonding.  At least not in Trump’s fertile and fetid imagination.

Other foreign leaders earning Trump’s admiration include Kim Jung-Un, Saddam Hussein and Benito Mussolini.

You definitely want to vote for a man whose role models include some of the worst tyrants and mass murderers in history.

It’s not surprising that Trump’s campaign manager and potential Chief of Staff is a man who makes a living cleaning up the images of brutal dictators, Paul Manafort.

This election is not about politics or policy.  Donald Trump has neither.

Golda Meir once said, “We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us.”  In this election, you need to love your children more than you hate the Clintons.

A man who says that a woman who is sexually harassed at work should find a new career may be able to host a reality show, but he is not in touch with reality or women who don’t have billionaire fathers.

If Hillary Clinton is the first American to be called, “Madam President,”  it will only be the third presidential term not served by a white man.

We’ve had a few “Madam Secretaries,” including Secretaries Clinton, Albright, Rice and Tea Leoni, but “Madam President” would definitely be a first for this country.

Cherry Jones played President Allison Taylor on 24, a credible performance, her presidency only undermined by a duplicitous male adviser.

If you have a fatal case of Trumpism, you’re probably thinking to yourself right now that there will be no Madam President.  If that’s the case, you need to think about an appropriate title for your guy, if he wins.

If you’re taking suggestions, you might want to throw “Fuhrer” and “Supreme Leader” into the hat.

Subscribe to the Chicago Board of Tirade
* You will never get SPAM
* Your email address will never be sold or given away
* You will only receive emails on days I post.
* You can unsubscribe at any time
* You can contact me anytime at: RJ@bobabrams.net

* Just type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button.

Leave a comment