Every Fertilized Egg Has the Right to be Born

Every Fertilized Egg Has the Right to be Born
image: storify

That’s right, you heard me. Every fertilized egg has the right to grow in its mother’s uterus for nine months, then pop out through her vagina.

Now that I’m reading it, I can see where that right could be slightly abridged by the necessity of a cesarean section, but you get the gist. Ix-nay on the abortions-way. ( Click HERE for Pig Latin conversion)

If you’ve visited this space before, you know that I have, up until now been adamantly pro-choice. No more. I have seen the light. Gone over to the other side. Awakened.

I used to think that women should have the final say in how their bodies are treated. It didn’t seem sane for the government (or anyone else) to mandate women to be incubators. It seemed reasonable that having a baby was such a personal experience that only a woman faced with that choice could make it.

After all, how can a bunch of old white men decide what is right for each and every woman who ever gets pregnant in America, no matter her circumstances?

It seemed Machiavellian to force women to have transvaginal ultrasounds, watch Youtube videos of abortions or take out obituary ads for their aborted zygotes.

Granted, I was never a fan of abortion, it just seemed creepy for me to try to impose my misgivings about the procedure on anyone else’s life.

All that has changed in this new age and I’ve drunk the Kool-Aid. If you get pregnant (only speaking to women here), you will be expected to bear the fruit of your loins. That little bugger has the right to be born.

Unfortunately, the little bugger will find a dearth of rights postpartum.

If said bugger happens to be born with any of a thousand congenital defects, he or she may have no right to receive care for what will always be a preexisting condition.

Even if he or she has a right to that care, there may be no way to pay for it. Heck, there may be no way to pay for any kind of coverage, what with the preexisting condition and all.

Education is something else to which that baby may have no right. Even as you read this, the destruction of public education in America is underway. Seeing as how our Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos has never attended public schools, it’s not surprising that she has no use for them.

It’s a little surprising how totally unqualified she is for the position, but that’s for another day.

Thanks to the current administration, baby has the right to accumulate massive debt at high interest rates in pursuit of the American dream and will soon be able to attend totally discredited “universities,” like Trump U.

Baby will have no right to breathe clean air or swim in clean water. Speaking of water, he or she may want to carry around a tester when drinking from the tap. Remember Flint, MI?

Baby will have no right to see polar bears, penguins or any of a hundred species threatened by melting ice caps. Living in Florida may also be off the table.

Baby will have no right to be protected from predatory practices by financial institutions.  That right was killed with the swoop of a pen in a tiny, tiny hand.

I could go on but, again, you get the gist. We’re very concerned about the rights of your unborn child.  After that, it’s dog eat dog.

The jury’s still out on whether or not Baby will have the right to speak his or her mind.

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